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Hi, This is Wayne. This is my site, my stuff, my blog, blahblahblah. The site itself is powered by WordPress and the Scary Little theme. I thought it was cool, and I still do.

June
26
2007
11:00 am
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I write to you now from the heart, opening my soul to the world, prepared for whatever may come of the action.  I share with you a tale of addiction, pain, grief and suffering, and of the effort of coping that inevitably follows.

If you’re not prepared for a heart-wrenching story of such immense sadness that you might expire on the spot, you should probably close your browser or feed reader now.  If, on the other hand, you have a heart fashioned with a strong constitution and feel growth can come from adversity, then by all means share my story and I wish you do learn from it as I have.

Now that I’ve prepared you, and absolved myself of any responsibility or liability of whatever may befall you upon reading this confession, I suppose I should get to the matter at hand.

[pause for strength] 

Yesterday was Jaden’s last day with the binky.

There.  I said it.  It’s out there, and I can’t take it back.

Yesterday was Jaden’s last day with the binky.

Maybe repeating it to myself will help ameliorate the anguish of this new reality.  His five-year-long struggle with his personal plastic demon is now over, but it’s not like he’s happy about it.  So it might not be accurate to say it’s actually over.

Jaden’s obsession with the binky started at a young age, as do most addictions.

     Obsession started at young age

As his body grew, so did his addiction.  He cycled through several different makers, manufacturers, colors and styles of binkies.  Everywhere he traveled, we made sure he had a number of binkies, even a couple of backups.  He was not typically seen relaxing, sleeping, or lounging without it stuck in his mouth.

     A progression of colors 

You might be thinking – how could we, as parents, neglect our child so?  Didn’t we see what was happening?  Did we do nothing to avert this tragedy?  Well let me tell you, it’s not like we didn’t try alternatives, including human fingers, drinks, carrots, little orange plastic basketballs, self-feeding of fists, and dental floss cartridges.

     Replacements for a binky addiction

None of these alternatives could abate his desires.  They just weren’t the same. 

Jaden is currently progressing through the 5 stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.

Stage 1: DENIAL

Dad: Jaden, it’s time to give up the binky.  You’re five years old now and it’s starting to affect your teeth.
Jaden: No! (goes to get another binky from hidden place #1).
Dad: (takes away binky) Come on, Jaden, it’s time to give me all the binkies.
Jaden: No! (goes to get yet another binky from hidden place #2)
Dad: (takes away binky) Really, Jaden.  You won’t be able to have your binky at school, and you don’t need it anymore.
Jaden: No! (tries to find another binky in places #3, #4, #5 and #’s 9 through 23)

Stage 2: ANGER

Jaden: Dad, you’re so mean.

Stage 3: BARGAINING

Jaden: Dad, howbout, I promise, I be good?  and I will brush my teeth? can I have my binky now please?  Is that a good idea? 

 

Dad: No, Jaden, you need to give up the binky. 
Jaden: How about I give mommy a flower?

Stage 4: DEPRESSION

Jaden: (stomps away to his room to sulk, after a bit of crying)

Stage 5: ACCEPTANCE

Jaden hasn’t reached this stage yet.  He did end up falling asleep without the binky, but it’s only been one night so far.  We’re hoping he quickly forgets his former best friend and drop the habit, as it were.

We’re hoping he triumphs over his addiction.

We’re hoping he forgives us for our steadfastness.

We’re hoping he doesn’t pick up any other habits later in life, that might also join the binky in the streets as a past bad habit.

And lo, the people did comment thus:

6 Comments

  1. Michelle says:

    Personally, I like the screaming/crying picture. It reminds me of the times I go to my friends’ houses, watch their kids throw temper tantrums, while I run away desperately calling my OBGYN to schedule a tubal ligation as soon as possible.

    I guess we all have our binkies. Mine is crystal meth, but hey, I get a lot of work done.

    Of course, the doctors say that I am addicted to meth because my mom didn’t take my banky and binky away until I was four and a half.

    🙂

    Michelle (not the other Michelle)

  2. Jen says:

    Yea! Jaden! I’m proud of you.

  3. whall says:

    Michelle, I can’t afford the crystal version of meth. I instead use the crayon kind. “Crayola meth” I believe the street name is.

    Jen, Jaden thanks you and wonders when you can come by and teach him more guitar hero? His words: “dad, when is jenfur coming over?”

  4. nasa266 says:

    Hey Jaden, I can’t teach you much – I’m musically challenged. He’d give me lessons I’m sure. And hey, I’ve not been invited by Jaden – you tell the boy he knows how to use a phone and dial!!!

  5. Bella says:

    The picture of the ‘binky & butt’ was too funny! I was having major problems with my son’s binky use; well actually it was more along the lines of a binky addiction!! My friend absolutely raved about the cut method, and all of the psychology behind it. She found it on http://www.bye-bye-binky.com , which is great that it was also free. We went with it and OMGosh… worked so beautifully for my son with NO tantrums, not even one! Thank you God. Five days later he did not want anything to do with his binky. What a relief it was to all of us to finally be done with those darn binkies. Highly recommended! I am also interested in hearing from others…. Bella

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