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Hi, This is Wayne. This is my site, my stuff, my blog, blahblahblah. The site itself is powered by WordPress and the Scary Little theme. I thought it was cool, and I still do.

8:52 am
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If you’re old enough to browse the Internet and read this post, you’re old enough to have heard The Golden Rule:

Golden Rule -do unto others as you would have done to you 

I think it’s a fantastic, simple motto to be taught to children.  It’s super easy to understand, and as a child grasps the meaning and context (how it applies to them personally), they can readily apply it to their daily lives.  Don’t take someone else’s crayons while they’re using them because you wouldn’t want that done to you.  Jaden, 5, is already applying it BACK to his parents – “Daddy, would YOU want to be put to bed at nine?” or “Don’t turn off my game for supper!  Would you want someone to do that TO YOU?!?!?!!”  I tells ya, this kid is s-m-r-t.

But really, not all axioms are self-contained and perfect.  Even The Golden Rule needs some modification to be more applicable to everyone.

What if someone likes to be punched in the face?  That person, if following the Golden Rule, is going to go around punching people.  While this example may be extreme, it still holds its value.  There are plenty of examples of things I would want done to me that I know others wouldn’t want done to them, and vice versa.  I generally don’t like people to hold the door open for me, but I always want to do that for others, because I think THEY want it done for THEM.  I’m sure you could think of many examples as well.

So the official seal and motto needs a facelift.  Enter The Golden Rule, Version 2.0

Golden Rule - do unto others as you think they would have done to them

In the case above, I would think that the “other” would want an ice cold frosty mug of beer.  Since I think that, I would get them a beer, even if I didn’t drink or didn’t feel like a beer at the time.

But there are still holes.  Problems to be fixed.  Potential transgressions to prevent from happening.

The first problem is – how good am I going to be at predicting what they would have done to them?  Or doing the deed itself?  For example, let’s say I’m advanced enough to know A) I don’t feel like a beer, but B) this other fellow probably wants a beer so C) I’m a better person by evolving The Golden Rule into Version 2.0 and I’m going to get them a beer.  Disaster strikes and the guy DOESN’T want a beer.  Or worse, the guy thinks that me getting him a beer means I’m “interested” in him or something.  Clearly, Version 2.0 has some drawbacks.

As you unwrap the other potential outcomes of always running about, performing The Golden Rule Version 1 or 2 around town, you will eventually get the idea that everyone is taking advantage of you.  I mean, you’re going around doing unto others what you’d have done to you, OR you’ve evolved into doing unto others what they’d want and chances are, others don’t do it back. 

Worse yet, what if someone KNOWS you’re a Golden Rule type of person, and they decide to preempt your action by doing an evil deed, like mugging you.  Hey, it happens!  Think back to the Dark Ages or a couple thousand years ago, when dinosaurs ruled.  People were very very mean to each other.  You’d be sitting back, minding your own camel’s business and WHAMO someone comes up and steals your unleavened bread.  Or maybe someone comes up from behind and oppresses the masses or something.

We need some sort of defense mechanism, but a pre-emptive one.

So we progress to Version 3.0 of the Golden Rule:

Golden Rule - do unto others before they do unto you 

I think this one will work for awhile until humanity progresses to match it’s technological advances.

And lo, the people did comment thus:


  1. Michelle says:

    Funny. I like it.

    Um, Wayne, the dinosaurs didn’t live a couple thousand years ago… It was more like millions…


  2. whall says:

    Michelle, it was my (ultimately failed) attempt at humor.

    Here’s another:

    How would you like it if I went to *your* blog and pointed out *your* mistakes? Oh wait, I’ve done that, so you’re just following Golden Rule V2.

  3. michelle says:

    No, it’s my fault. I am PMS’ing, with no end in sight. I read that and thought, my god, wayne, you aren’t that stupid. Then I thought, what’s with all the mushy crap he has been writing lately? Then I thought, ugh, how can someone be so positive all the time? Then I thought, ugh, you are irritating me.

    Not you. I need Midol and a lobotomy. The problem with getting older and never having had any children is that PMS gets really bad, because it’s my body getting back and me for not spawning life. Seriously; medically documented. The older you are, when you haven’t had children, the worse the hormones get.

    So, take heart; it’s not just you that is irritating me. The whole world is irritating me, and I wish they would just do things my way…



  4. whall says:

    I think you need your own seal.

  5. Jen says:

    Ut oh, if Michelle is right about getting older and not having peeps, then I’m gonna be in some trouble. Wow, things I get to look forward to! *smiles*

  6. whall says:

    Jen, I can help you with the peeps. I’ll help prevent you from your gloomy future.

  7. Jen says:

    *laughing* I now have five peeps. *whew* I’m happy happy now.

  8. sue says:

    Now, see, you just turned my whole world upside down.

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