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Hi, This is Wayne. This is my site, my stuff, my blog, blahblahblah. The site itself is powered by WordPress and the Scary Little theme. I thought it was cool, and I still do.

August
30
2007
9:17 am
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Hi.  This is Wayne’s Blog.  I need to talk to you for a second while Wayne is away from his computer.  I need to be quick, so if he comes back, just minimize your browser or press Windows-D if you’re on a Windows machine.  We don’t want him seeing this.

Can I tug on your heartstrings for just a moment?

Right now, there’s a handsome, young man in our community who needs your help.  This person simply beams with potential and displays such a sweetness and innocence that you can barely keep a smile contained when you’re with him.  In only a few moments in his presence, you can’t help but get an incredible sense of “I would do anything for that young man” flowing through your soul.  Charity, goodwill and harmony follow him everywhere.  Like a welcome breeze on a hot day, he’s just what you need, right when you need it.

You know that Carpenters song that starts off with something like “why do birds, suddenly appear… every time, you are near?”  Well with him it’s like “why do things, suddenly go great… every time, Wayne plays 8?” (as in 8-ball).

But he has a disability.  One that you might not pick up on immediately, but it’s there, just the same.  It’s the kind of disability not often discussed in public, and due to this, it frequently debilitates people without their foreknowledge.  There are people suffering right now and a lot of the time they don’t even know it.  Until it’s too late.

The young man I’m speaking of is Wayne Hall, my owner.  *smiles*

You know him as a fun-loving, intelligent, funny person who spends a good bit of attention on me.  I like that, I really do.  But his secret handicap really hit him hard last night at pool.  That’s why I wanted to send out a beacon – a distress signal, so to speak – and call a different kind of attention to Wayne.

I want to bring attention to Wayne’s inability to do remedial math.

Remedial Math

Won’t you join me in supporting him to get the resources and training he needs to do simple math?

He’s long had a problem with normal calculations.  You know how sometimes two and two don’t add up?  Ever hear that saying?  Well, for Wayne it’s all the time.  They never add up.  He sits there and looks at them.  Two.  and Two.  Sometimes he sees twenty-two.  Yes, it’s that bad.

Last night was the worst I’ve seen him.  He plays on this APA Pool league, right?  Well, the whole point of APA is that it’s amateur.  Anyone can win.  You get a skill level, and that way someone who’s not so great actually has a chance at beating someone who is that great.

They have these guidelines on not “stacking a team” by putting a whole bunch of good people on the same team.  Each person can be ranked between 2 (low) and 7 (high).  So they have this thing called a “skill level limit” of 23, meaning out of the five people who play in a given night, their skill levels cannot be higher than 23.

Last night, Wayne’s team had to forfeit their tie-breaking match because the five people who were present added up to 24.  Wayne should have caught it much earlier in the night so something could have been done.  But he didn’t.  He failed to add up the numbers correctly.  I guess he was still seeing twenty-two.

This is huge because it was Playoff’s.  Yes, the playoff match.  The team worked hard for a long 13-week session, got into 2nd place, and if they won last night, they would have advanced to the regional Tri-Cup tournament, but NOOOOOOO.  He had to FAIL at remedial math.

Maybe this guy isn’t so sweet after all.  Now that I think about it, he’s been failing a lot.  I mean, sure, he WON his 8-ball match against his opponent, but how do you think that made his opponent feel?  He trounced on him, beating him 5-1, the poor guy.  Doesn’t Wayne have any compassion?  And how do you think the rest of his team felt, knowing that if one more of them had won, they had gone?  That’s unfair!

What a jerk.  Now his team’s hopes of a paid Las Vegas trip are DOWN THE TUBES and he’s not even here to blog about it!  I think we should get together and make a little logo for him and his precious billiard league.

HERE YOU GO WAYNE!  JUST FOR YOU! 

YOU……

FAIL!

YOU FAIL billiard balls pool

And lo, the people did comment thus:

6 Comments

  1. Ren says:

    I think we might needed to have won again next week before advancing to that Tri-Cup tournament.

  2. whall says:

    Hi, this is Wayne’s blog again. I hijacked his comments to in order to let you know that during the summer session, TWO teams qualify for Tri-Cups if there are 6 teams or more. At least, that’s how it used to be in the bylaws. However, I just checked and it seems that it’s that way during all sessions – 6 or more teams in a division means 2 teams advance to Tri-Cup.

    Wayne is such a loser.

  3. sue says:

    I’m sorry. I can’t say much. My dad was an accountant and I, too, am numerically challenged. Why? I don’t know. That gene just didn’t pass down. It happens. it sucks. Life goes on.

  4. Michelle says:

    Ya know, sometimes 2 + 2 IS 22. I mean, it just is. It’s a shame when it’s at someone else’s expense, but life is what it is.

    Just outta curiosity, wasn’t there supposed to be some sort of officiating going on here. Are the players ultimately responsible?

  5. whall says:

    Sue, Wayne still isn’t looking, so I can comment for a few minutes. It’s funny you mention it, because Wayne’s dad has a great sense of humor, style and charm, and THAT didn’t get passed down to him. What a coincidence!

    Michelle, good point about 2 + 2. Wayne recently asked his 5 year old – “Jaden, what is one” and sticking one index finger out, “and one” and sticking the other index finger out, “when you add them together?” and Jaden’s answer was “eleven”.

    With respect to the officiating and responsibility, you’ll love this. Wayne’s such a brilliant person, lemme tell you. First of all, it’s the TEAM CAPTAIN’s responsibility to make sure the team stays under the 23 skill level cap. I’ll give you three guesses as to who the Team Captain is.

    Secondly, each division (weekly pool league) has a special person appointed as Division Rep. The Division Rep is supposed to know the rule book very well and just in general help keep the peace and make things flow smoothly. This person is usually seen as a knowledgable, helpful resource when teams have questions, conflicts arise, or a judgment call is required.

    Unfortunately, this particular league’s Division Rep is seen as a bearded fool who makes HIS TEAM FORFEIT DUE TO MATH ISSUES!

  6. Michelle says:

    Just so yall know, the above michelle isn’t me. I have the short bus icon… So if you get pissed at her, it’s not me. 😉

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