There’s been a lot of talk and interest in Post Secret, the website, the meme and the book.  The idea is that people can anonymously confess to deeply held secrets by writing them on a postcard or submitting it online.  The book is a collection of the secrets.  Some are incredibly thought-provoking.  A lot are heart-wrenchingley sad.  Others are perverted.  There’s even a promotional video

I wonder how many are fake secrets - like the one that says “Everyone who knew me before 9/11 believes I’m dead.”  I mean, I can imagine a lot more people who would make that up than would actually live it.  But it still gets you.

Maybe this phenomenon will usher in a new era of honesty, tolerance and open-mindedness.  Maybe it will be the downfall of society.  Who can tell?

So, you may be wondering why I’m bringing up secrets.  Well, it’s time I did my own confessing.

Due to the nature of my confession, I’m putting it in the extended entry, below.  Only read it if you have the time and inclination to stomach the horrific.  Don’t say you weren’t warned.

Ok, I guess it’s time to confess.  Why are things so hard to type sometimes?  I mean, I just want to blurt it out, but instead, I’m wasting time describing how it feels to ease into confessing a deep dark secret.  What if I just redirected your attention?  Wouldn’t that be easier?

ARGH

Alright, I’m ready now.

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I have an unhealthy fascination with Michael Jackson’s music.

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There, I said it.  Whew, I feel a lot better now.Let me clarify.  It’s not just the music, but the sounds he makes.  And I’m not really talking about the ”Uh!” and “Eckch” and “Mmmmph” sounds he interjects between every 4th syllable, I mean the choreographic architecture of aural bliss. Come with my on my journey to my favorite Michael Jackson sounds.Please don’t make fun of me.  And LEAVE MICHAEL ALONE!

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That video was hilarious - I especially liked your representations of the sounds he was making. “Donkey bat” was my favorite.

i love post secret. it’s such a great concept. do you feel better having confessed? heh.

OMG, that was hilarious! I was really hoping schmall would get in there. How did it go?
“Gonna feel real good, schmall, change” - Man in the Mirror

I love that video and I have to confess that I say that “HEE-hee” a lot in jest but it is fun.

PS - is it sad that I can’t hear that last song without interjecting the sampled SWV version noises into it?

Avi, I’ve always been partial to “donkey bat”, and “CONG-G-GURL”. I have some others, and I neglected to specify that this was Volume I. Yes, there will be multiple volumes. I was having troubles with my music archive and I’m missing some of my MJ stuff. I can guarantee that The Wiz will also make an appearance.

sizzle, well, the fallout hasn’t happened yet, so I’m good for now. But I fear the consequences if my friends knew my true music love

Lynda, most of the vocal acrobatics that MJ does in Man in the Mirror aren’t the ones I like… but I’ll re-check out that one and see if it can make it into Vol II.

Hilly, MJ’s Hee-Hee is known worldwide, and is hard to carry off. If done properly, it can emphasize any point, convey any emotion and cure any ailment. Chris Tucker does a good impersonation. And I’m going to have to show my ignorance here - what is SWV version? You talking about Human Nature I assume?

Loved it, Wayne!

whoomph is my very favorite one ever.

I remember when I was little-ish and I misheard him when he said “funky” in one song. I thought he said a different “f” word and went to ask my mom what it meant. She was shocked that I would say that word, but explained what it meant calmly. Then she took away my record.

You, my friend, have waaaay too much time on your hands.
VERY funny. (Donkey-bat? Seriously? I’ve heard that song thousands of times and never knew!)

He used schmall in some of his earlier works too. I think someone in my family had the Beat It album and it was on there. I am not sure though, since I have never been a Michael Jackson fan.
My mom came home from work on day and said a co-worker had told her the translation for schmal is “It’s small”

Sheila, nice to see you drop by, my biker buddy. I have to admit to many miles on the bike being ridden to Thriller and Off the Wall…

Tori, something similar happened to me and “Funkytown” by Lipps, Inc. I was sure they were saying something I wasn’t supposed to know about at that age.

sue “donkey bat” is what *I* hear. I cannot be held responsible for what others hear. Or what he meant to say. But it says that to me.

Lynda, that, plus “shah-mohn”, “chich”, “Oooohhgh” and a couple of others that will make it into Volume II. Vol II will have selected samples and animations of PYT, Bad, Beat-It, and some stuff from his newer albums, once I get it re-ripped from CD.

I’ve also heard something is going to come out in 2008. I watched the “Human Nature” youtube video and was re-amazed at his ability to dance, sing, choreograph, etc on stage. Simply pure talent.

[…] Post Secret - probably my favorite 2007 post - where I profess my love (and make a video) for Michael Jackson. […]

[…] might not know it, but I’m a pretty big Michael Jackson fan, as I’ve publically and shamefully confessed before.  In one of his biggest hits, he sings about how some kid is not his even though the mom says […]

[…] offthewhall.com (do not own) This is probably the one I think about the most - easy to remember, easy to say, and it’s a .com.  It’s also related to what I would consider my blog - off the wall.  Plus I love Michael Jackson. […]