Yesterday’s post got me thinking, and I learned a valuable lesson.  What *I* think might be a well-written post on a timely subject and actually introduce innovative concepts, and fuel the fires of discussion to the point where there would be a near literary riot (in a good way), public reaction was basically crickets.  Then I thought to myself - “hey, you’re watching it too closely.  You’re passionate about this topic, you feel you did a good post, and now you’re way too impatient for the reaction.  It’s barely been any time.  It’s morning now and you posted yesterday afternoon.”  Then I matured a little and realized “Hey, are you writing it for the response?  Or are you writing it because it’s what you think?  Because if you’re just writing for a response, you’d better get a LOT more controversial” and then I slapped myself for taking too much time on a serious  subject. 

Reeling from the slap (because my arms are very strong from so many years of bowling), I pulled myself up (because my arms are very strong) and got ahold of the situation (because my arms are very strong).   Pushing aside my instincts (because my arms are very strong), I dropped the subject (my arms got tired).

Which brings me to something infinitely more interesting - Chili’s OLDTIMER CHEESEBURGER!

I’m a HUGE burger fan.

By that, I mean both potential meanings: one, I’m huge, and I’m a fan of burgers.  Also, I’m a burger fan who is extremely good and passionate about his fanning of burgerocity.

While I should admit that there are few burgers I’ll turn down, there are few that earn “top burgers”.  Let’s put this into perspective - I am rarely disappointed in a burger.  I can find happiness inside the greasiest, coldest burger from a ballpark.  I’m a joyminer who can still find the mother lode when given a flat, dry burger from a mexican restaurant (not typically known for good burgers).  I’m definitely satisfied with the fast food’s offerings (Big Mac, Whopper, Wendy’s Single, JITB Ultimate Cheeseburger, and all the other burgers they offer).  I never have sent a burger back for quality reasons, although I have no problem sending it back if it comes differently than ordered (ie, they put on mustard instead of mayo; I almost sued them once for that).

But to me, the ultimate-tasting burger is the Chili’s Oldtimer.  For me, the same thing comes out of my mouth when ordering the thing I most want to go into my mouth: “hi, I’d like some great food to go!  I want and oldtimer with cheese, medium, mayo, ketchup, pickles, lettuce and no season salt on the fries, please.” 

I don’t know what they do to the meat, or the bun, but it’s juicy, warm, perfectly seasoned and so. incredibly. good.

I don’t eat beef too often, but Friday’s has an excellent turkey burger. At chilli’s I like their black bean burger

I don’t know why — because I don’t eat fast food in general — but every now and then my mouth craves a McDonald’s double cheeseburger. So I get two. There are some really great burgers in Los Angeles but that’s the only one I crave for some odd reason. It must be the crack they use to season the patty.

Johnny Rockets Streamliner Burger with no grilled onions and extra mayo. Heaven.

Mmmm Chili’s! I gotta do some research and see if we have a Chili’s around here. I haven’t been to one since I left California. I remember that burger- it’s pretty darn delicious.

I’m partial to a grilled eggplant and red peppers/pesto/mozzarella on focaccia sandwich.

Chili’s Old Timer with cheese is at the top of my list. Man, now I’m hungry.

Ironically, a black and blue burger (extra well done and crispy) from my employer’s restaurant. SOOOOooooOOOooooOOOoooo tasty.

Amanda, Friday’s has some uh-MAZE-in fried mac-n-cheese. When I first heard about it, I was skeptical. Then I had some, and I was fat. But in a good way.

Westopher, if you’re talking about the $1 value menu, I’m with you. If you’re spending more than a dollar for it, then you’re on crack.

Dave2, according to their home page and maps.google.com, the nearest Johnny Rockets is 53.2 miles from my house. To put this into perspective, this is approximately 842,688 johnny rockets cheeseburgers lined up end to end.

Sizz, (may I call you Sizz?) You had me at “mmmm” but lost me at “eggplant”. I like pesto and mozzarella and focaccia bread tho.

Bekah, glad to be of service.

Poppy, so the blue part - just means crispy? Or do you add bleu cheese? (some swear by it)

The blue part is blue/bleu cheese. The crispy part is the black part… (ya know, burnt…? equals black? yup.)

oh I’ve had the mac and cheese. Lots of it, sadly. They have it at cheesecake factory, too, which was the first place I ever had fried mac and cheese

Burgers are my favorite food in the whole world. I crave them constantly.

You wanna know something funny? Chili’s Oldtimer is my all-time favorite. It’s what I get every time I go to Chili’s, and it’s my favorite cheeseburger of all time.

But you have to get it with cheddar. No stupid American cheese.

Kyra, I thought your two favorite foods in the world were hot dogs and bananas…Guess I was wrong.

Oh, Wayne. This post is so close to my heart. I, too, am a Burger Lover. Any burger. Any restaurant. I *always* peruse the entire menu, no matter where we are, and I *always* end up ordering a burger. I *always* get eye-rolls from friends/family and am *always* asked why I even bother looking at the menu… but I can’t help myself! The most recent delicious burger I had was at Kelsey’s (FYI: music on that site) and it was the cracked peppercorn burger.

Really? Chili’s OldTimer? I think it’s sub par.

Chili’s new mini-burgers are excellent. The best fast food type burger is Fatburger, which is mainly from the West Coast. The best restaurant burger is from Red Robin. Their Royal Red Robin, with a fried egg on top, is outstanding.

Since moving to Houston, I have really missed my Dan’s Hamburgers and homemade onion rings. The only thing I miss more, is my friends!!!!

Poppy, Red Robin, if you ever get to go, has an awesome “Bleu Ribbon Burger” that you should try.

Amanda, what a coincidence - I’ve had it there, too! With The Absurdist, no less! I wonder if TGIF’s sells it in the freezer section…

Kyra (which I just learned last night is pronounced “Keera”), yeah, somehow I forgot to mention that fact about myself. Burgers first, then pizza. Man, I need to go get on the elliptical just thinking about my favorite foods.

Absurdist, I prefer American cheese on most everything, but you’re right - and oldtimer just isn’t right without Cheddar.

sourpuss, yeah, and whenever I’m out with anyone who knows me at all can order for me. “Oh, he’ll have the cheeseburger.” But they’re wrong. Sometimes I get the BACON cheeseburger. Sometimes I mix it up a little and ask for PICKLES. I even ask for a burger at the more upscale places - you know, the places who charge $9.25 for a burger and it’s worth it.

Avitable, funny you should mention the Royal. If you look back at my twitter for Friday, around lunch, it gives it the highest honor possible:

That’s my second favorite burger and it’s the only thing I’ve ever had at Red Robin in the 36 times I’ve been.

Cinda, welcome to the blog of whall! We all miss you here in Austin as well. I’m not a huge fan of Dan’s, although I’d eat there any time. I’m more of a Top Notch fan myself for Austin-burger fare. Or Hut’s.

My address book entry for you, Wayne, has the following note from years ago:

Prefs:
Burger: K&Mayo only + bacon, lettuce & chz

Only been to Red Robin once. It was good.