Today Rude Cactus got added to my feedreader. I’ve been doing stuff like that a lot more recently – adding all sorts of interesting people to my lists – simply because it’s so incredibly easy to do so now that I’ve got NewsGator working on all fronts: PC, web, phone. I used to do it manually, but now I just right-click here, toolbar-click there, whatever… I can feed the need to read with speed.
About the only thing I know about this Cactus character is that he has a really cool logo on his blog:
Oh, and the thingy-thing says he’s an IT Security geek, which is a big plus, as is the network administrator work, but the flaming uber-liberal thing’s got to go. The name “cactus” reminds me of the awesome local Capitol Area Central Texas Unix Society, of which I was a member in the late 80′s and early 90′s, getting my first real unix account, email, and usenet access. So while he probably has nothing to do with that CACTUS, I believe that coincidences shape our lives, so I’ll run with it. Besides, he’s got like a kagillion commenters so he must have something to offer.
The first (and only, so far) post I’ve read was “That’s the Ticket,” an amusing story about when Mr. Cactus didn’t get a ticket and when he did, and the ironic nature of the two events.
All of a sudden, my memory kicked into action and I remembered a ticket-getting event in my own life, and put it in the comments of that post. Because I thought it was interesting (and it makes for an easy Saturday post), here it is for your pleasure*:
In ’89 I went to defensive driving for a speeding ticket. At the beginning of the class, the instructor asked facetiously “and is there anyone who is completely innocent of their speeding ticket?” hahahah. I raised my hand and explained the following.I had just finished Basic Training at Ft. Sill, OK. Two recruit friends and I down to Austin (hometown) for Thanksgiving dinner/weekend with family. Driving back, I was in back of the van relaxing cuz I had already driven a long time and one of the other privates was driving and all of a sudden yelled out “CRAP! I think I got NAILED!” Somehow he was able to convey the following information in about 1.5 seconds:“Wayne, it’s like this. I still have to go back and report in. You’re already Permanent Party, and you have status, but we still have more training to complete. We have formation at 1800 hours. If we so much have a SPECK on our record, it’s immediate discharge. We can’t have any trouble with the law in any way – not even a speeding ticket. All I have in this world is my enlistment and my marriage, and I really need the G.I. Bill because my wife will be bearing my child in 3 months and I can’t face her if I got kicked out of the military. Help me obi-wayne; you’re my only hope.”
So I did the only thing I could do. Luckily, we had just went over a small hill as we were slowing down; the police car behind us was invisible for a few seconds, and he jumped out of the driver’s seat and I jumped in to take his place. I slowed, stopped, and took it like a man.
I took his ticket.
Crap, I think I got nailed.
* I don’t mind you laughing at me.
Only you can take obvious innuendo and turn it into something benign.
Gawwwww, I love The Cactus. And his kids?!?!? So flipping cute I can’t flipping stand it.
You did great, Wayne. Chris is fabulous.
btw- catching up. LOVE the posts about the *ahem* “aliens”… you nailed it, buddy!!!! Keep up the good work. Oh, and of course, I always love the kitties…
Who does that for a friend?
This reminds me of the day Dean racked up 700 dollars in speeding tickets trying to make it back to Ft. Gordon in time for formation…lol. We we coming from Tampa and were stopped four times. The last time, the cop saw four soldiers in the backseat and wrote the ticket as fast as he could so they wouldn’t be late…LOL.
Absurdist, I’m sure I’m not the only one. But I’m the best.
Poppy, I haven’t seen them yet – like I said, I’m new. In my feedreader I have three “rounds” – round 1 is the “must read”, then round 2 “when I have time” and round 3 “when I really have lots of time”. Everyone new starts at round 3 and moves their way up. He’s in round 3 for now.
sue, yeah, what part of “illegal” don’t people understand? Oh, and I’m also tried of “pressing 1 for english.” And yet I’ll be seen as a racist for my views. Sheesh.
Christine, you see, I knew I could blog about it one day, so really.. it’s complete selfish!
Kyra, yeah, this is similar – I forgot to mention that he was speeding because – we were running late. I was lucky in that I went Perm Party the next day, so my formation wasn’t until 0700, I had my own garrison, I got to keep my Van, and I could even go bowling and stuff – I was an honest-to-goodness REAL soldier! Everyone else still had weeks of bivouac, training, and a whole bunch of dates with artillary machines. I only had a date with the finest miliatry musicians around (77th AD Band).
Not selfish….I have never known someone that has actually done something for a friend like that. I guess I need to get a new group of friends…..