My new “motto” keeps getting proven day after day.
The key to happiness in this life is HELP
It really is. HELP. HELP helps. When you need a hand in life, HELP is what can get you through the day and is the true key to a happy life.
Low Expectations, High Hopes
“Low Expectations, High Hopes” is my newly-realized motto in life. I’ve always felt this way towards life, but I never realized it until recently. Or maybe I should say – I never realized it could be summarized in such a small convenient package.
It works for enjoying movies, eating out, dealing with other people, earning a living, dating, having kids, doing the dishes, going to a baseball game… it doesn’t matter! I’m confident this is a huge factor in why I’m always happy. I’m always impressed at things. People, situations, events… all of them frequently exceed my expectations.
However, I must point out that an important part of the motto is the “high hopes” bit. I wouldn’t for a second have low expectations of my kids, for example. I want them to have lofty goals, achieve worthy accomplishments, and be able to do anything they set their mind to. So I prefer to word it as “high hopes” to clarify the intent. It’s not just that I’m an optimist. I’m an optimist with low expectations.
Think about it – how many people do you know who complained about the 2nd set of Star Wars movies? I maintain that those people’s complaints are firmly nestled in a bed of high expectations. I enjoyed all 6 SW movies immensely. Same with LOTR movies, and all the Matrix movies. I think my “secret” was the low expectation I had.
What do you think – too simple?
I have to disagree here….there’s a saying out there that I think is wise: “Set your expectations high; find men and women whose integrity and values you respect; get their agreement on a course of action; and give them your ultimate trust.” And never for a moment set them any lower for yourself or your friends.
Jennefer, I can easily agree with that saying; it is wise indeed. However, I think it matters if you’re talking about expections of yourself vs expectations of situations. I have high expectations of myself and the things I control, but low expectations of the world. Internal vs external.
See, I’m opposite. Heh, I’ll have low expectations of myself, so I don’t get disappointed and high expectations of my friends (and they always exceed my expectations)!!
I’m kind of an optomistic, everything-will-be-great kind of person, but yeah…it sucks when things don’t go that way. Have you read “The Secret?” It’s amazing and I’ve been working on putting into action in my life (and a lot of things have been working in an eerie sort of way). Take for example, those people who say, “I always get a parking spot.” It’s the law of attraction. They say it and believe it, so that’s what they attract. The book encourages you to believe that about yourself. Ever since I started doing that, I kid you not, I always get a front row space wherever I go. And I never did before. Just recently, my husband was in the van with me and the parking lot was totally full. I tried to say, “Want to watch a space open up?” but he was talking so I couldn’t, lol. But sure enough, just as I got to the front of the parking lot, someone pulled out and I got the spot. It happens all the time to me now. There’s been a lot of other things like that that have happened. It’s all about having high expectations and attracting those things to you. Very cool!
I call BS on this. You have never exhibited low expectations of anyone. In fact, you only befriend people the way I do; those with high expectations that fulfill those expectations.
It’s BS, and I call you on it.
Jen, yup, opposite. Interesting…
BlondeBlogger, I have not read ‘The Secret’ but I’ve heard a lot about it. Sounds like it talks about things I already embrace philosophically. I ask ‘the universe’ to help me, and I get help. I think positively, and those positive thoughts come through into action more often than not.
Absurdist, I think we might be having a terminology difference. There’s a big difference between high expectations and high standards.
High Expectations = expecting a positive outcome, the lack of which causes disappointment, anger, depression or negative feelings.
High Standards = requiring a set of processes, capability, characteristics or talent that is demonstrably above average.
High Hopes = being eternally optimistic that the best is yet to come, and being able to envision extremely positive results (aka, the big picture) and giddy with anticipation at the thought of achieving excellence.
Perhaps some examples may help with understanding my usage of these terms
I have high expectations AND high standards AND high hopes when I get on an airplane to go to California. High Standards apply because I absolutely won’t tolerate safety issues. High Expectations apply because the company is being paid for a service and I expect to get good service (flight captain, luggage, flight attendants). High Hopes are always in effect and in this case mean I sure hope I don’t get sat next to the loud smelly obnoxious talker who incompetently spills drinks on my electronics.
I have High Standards and Low Expectations for my kids. There are some things like manners, hygiene, effort towards school, kindness to animals that I will not budge on and will require total compliance and meeting of my high standards. But I have low expectations meaning I care less about outcome in certain situations, like if they are last place in a race or fail a test or don’t excel in some way. My high standards are to the effort and expectations of the outcome is low. They are to know I will always love them no matter what and they won’t get punished for a bad grade per se, but would get punished for lack of effort or caring towards getting a better grade.
To you “befriend people” point, I would say I have High Standards in my friends, not High Expectations. They don’t become friends without meeting the High Standards. But I could care less if they meet my expectations while being my friend – everyone has issues, faults and makes mistakes. I hope my friends don’t hold me to high expectations all the time for I will surely fail to meet them several times in my life.
Nope. You have high expectations.
I’m always right and you are always wrong. You admit this frequently.
*laughing hysterically* Funny to read the banter between you and Abs on High this and High that.
Wayne I thought your explanation to Absurdist was great. I knew that’s what you meant and agree that is how you feel.
Nice explanation and examples!