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Hi, This is Wayne. This is my site, my stuff, my blog, blahblahblah. The site itself is powered by WordPress and the Scary Little theme. I thought it was cool, and I still do.

1:05 pm
Post Meta :

I think Google is getting in on the Green, Environment, We Need To Reduce Our Dependency on Foreign Oil bandwagon.  I’m tagging this as a “conspiracy theory” because it’s sexy to do so.

As you may have learned from my Twitters and Utterz, I’ve started riding the bus to work.  I’m actually typing this on my laptop on the bus on the way home.  They really need to put some work desks in.  I’m serious.  Since when is a laptop supposed to actually go on your lap?!??  If they’d just put in a few airline-style workdesks or maybe just a table or something for a couple seats, I bet more professionals might find it worthwhile.

But I digest.

Reason #1: Google helps people ride the bus

So one of the things I’ve been using Google for is to find the next few times for my local bus stop.  It’s pretty amazing!  The bus stop just shows up on google maps, and when you click on it, it tells you the next two or three times that the bus should be there.

About the only thing that would be cooler is if I could give it a range of times and have it alert me 15m before the bus automatically and then magically “know” when I’m on it or in my car so it stops bothering me.

Google helps people plan walks

I noticed this today when trying to get directions out to a very secluded place out in the country where we could watch the Persoid Meteor Shower Monday night.  We really wanted to get out of the city, away from light pollution and really be able to see the stars and comet debris that is supposed to be drifting into our atmosphere over the next couple of days.

This land is way out in Bastrop, TX.  I’ve been there maybe once.  But it would be perfect for what we want, so I got the address and googled it.

The first thing I noticed was that it was 50+ miles away.

The second thing I noticed was that it offered a “Walking” dropdown.  Um, what?  So naturally I tried it out and it was actually shorter to walk!  I saved more than a full mile (2 percent, for those of you keeping track) of my horizontal traveling if I just chose to walk instead.

 Of course, the trip would take 17.5 hours, but I’m saving A FULL MILE.

I also noticed that the actual journey changed quite a bit.  When going by car, the route looked like this (blue line is the car route):

yet if I walked, the rout changed I went through a lot of side streets, trees, or secret military installations. (Tip: any time a map does NOT indicate that it’s part of a secret military installation, chances are it might be a secret military installation.  I mean, it’s not like they’re going to advertise it, right?)

And here’s the revised walking-enhanced route (same blue line):

So since Google is going to start pushing Walking as an option, that’s another nail in the Conspiracy Theory coffin.

There’s only one known blog post about this Conspiracy Theory

One of the biggest tip-off’s on conspiracy theories is how few people know about it.  Think about it – have you ever heard of this before now?  And I bet if you Google about conspiracy theories that involve Google, you just KNOW they’re filtering them out. And they’re probably reporting you to themselves somehow.  If something weird or unnatural happens to the author of that one blog post, then you’re guaranteed to be smelling like a Conspiracy Theory.

For example, that single author might be all-of-a-sudden unfunny.  Or he might be “delayed” in his video blogs for a month with little to no explanation.  It could be anything!  Maybe *I’m* the “dead man walking” Google-style.

BE AWARE, PEOPLE!  Trust no-one.

‘cept me.  You can trust me.

And lo, the people did comment thus:


  1. Ren says:

    Hmm. Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

    Rens last blog post..Holy Cactus!

  2. Evil Genius says:

    Okay, first thought? AWESOME. I a total tool when it comes to geekdom.

    Second thought…man, you better take some water before you head out on that 17.5 mile hike!! 🙂

    Evil Geniuss last blog post..Of Asses and E-Coli

  3. Winter says:

    I have to say… this post made me laugh. In a snickery snorting “He’s soooo amusing” sorta way.

    Winters last blog post..We’ve Got Big Balls

  4. Janna says:

    Since I have nothing of any value to add, I’ll just say that I’m craving blueberry pie right now.
    And my right eyebrow itches.

    Jannas last blog post..My Blogiversary

  5. Robin says:

    I love google, I’d molest it if I could.

  6. whall says:

    Ren stop being a plant for the government. I shall call you “Fern”

    Alex, thankage

    Evil Genius, Yeah, I wonder what would happen if I got directions from here to, say, the Capital? Would it mention walking then?

    Winter, it’s just a service I provide. Snicker away!

    Janna, maybe your eyebrow is allergic to blueberry pie cravings?

    Robin, no moleste, por favor. (or so it says on my hotel door knob sign)

  7. Miss Britt says:

    Something about this post seems fishy.

    Are you working for Yahoo?

    Miss Britts last blog post..In Which I Discuss My Weight. And Use Real Numbers.

  8. martymankins says:

    Google Maps is my friend. My Treo 755p works very well with Google Maps. Each trip I’ve taken, it’s saved me from various wrong turns and “where the hell am I” roads.

    Taking the bus? How soon before you get a scooter? LOL

    martymankinss last blog post..Green With Electric Envy

  9. Dragon says:

    “But I digest” Too funny, dude! Now I’m torn. I love google but I trust you. So torn. 🙁

    Dragons last blog post..Citrus Sunrise Punch

  10. whall says:

    Miss Britt, Great. Now you have me daydreaming on what my life would be like if I had worked for Yahoo in the beginning, then switched to Google in the beginning.

    martymankins, I started thinking about a Smart Car. I even saw a dealership up in Round Rock, TX when I took Jaden to see Speed Racer Friday night.

    Dragon, Figures YOU would get the “digest” part.

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