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Welcome to The blog of whall

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Hi, This is Wayne. This is my site, my stuff, my blog, blahblahblah. The site itself is powered by WordPress and the Scary Little theme. I thought it was cool, and I still do.

I’m sorry I had to keep it a secret from all my friends, family and readers.  But you know how these things go – word gets out, and complete pandemonium breaks out.  We didn’t want to give our opponents any extra time.  And I’m sure you’ll agree, this is a complete surprise!  At least, I bet you didn’t see it coming.  (note: the announcement of Sarah Palin as VP pick is just a ruse to throw off the Obama campaign.)

It gives me great pleasure to announce that John McCain has picked ME to be his Vice Presidential Running Mate!

That’s right!  ME!  Wayne!  aka whall.  The Whallster.  Whallify.  Creator of WHALLcats.  Proud father of a fourth-generation middle-name-Wayne member of the Hall family.  Decorated non-wartime military hero bandsman.  Unifying force for Unix, Windows *and* Mac use in business and at home.  Conspiracy Theorist Esquire.  Hot Blogger Calendar Nominee.

One of the first things John and I sat down to discuss was our brand.  We all know that without a good brand, there’s no success.  Dell is a leader in the computer idustry because it’s a short name.  Same with IBM and HP.  Think about it – who would vote for “Stephanopolous-Garfinkel”?  The advertising budget alone would sink a compaign faster than tacking “Edwards” to the end of a ticket.

We settled on a single word – McWayne – instead of the typical lastname+lastname.  It rolls off the tongue much better than “Obama-Biden,” don’t you think?  Say to yourself – “Vote McWayne“.  It’s incredibly efficient!

john mccain and whall is mcwayne 2008

We didn’t want to be known as McCain-Hall or McCain-Wayne, although the rhyming words probably would help us in the polls.  We also toyed with using “John Wayne” as our mascot and name because John Wayne is clearly an icon of strength, integrity, rugged individualism and pure Americana.  However, we thought there were too many pot-shots that the pundits could easily take, such as “we’re going to put an actor in the White House???!?” 

We all know the urgent issues facing America today.  And that’s why we need a leader, not a messiah.  We don’t need “change we can believe in.”  We don’t need “hope.”  Try putting change or hope into your bank account and see what that gets you.  But think for a moment of the promise that LOLcats bring you.  Yeah, you’re feeling it now, aren’t you? 

That’s right!  And we want your vote.  We have a few buttons you can add to your blog.

mccain wayne mcwayne we can haz whitehouse

We hope to usher in a new era, where voters turn out in droves to submit their own captions to nominees.  We will make a fully automated system where you can take any picture of any candidate, and create a clever set of words and phrases and have them presented for Internet voting.

I see they’re already starting to pour in.  Here’s a recent submission for your perusal:

obama biden campaign poster kool aid koolaid we haz it lolcats

 

And lo, the people did comment thus:

13 Comments

  1. Dave2 says:

    Right about now, McCain is wishing with all his heart that he had Kool-Aid to offer. It would be better than the nothing he has now!

    Dave2s last blog post..Remainder

  2. Raganator says:

    Just think how much better the world would be if everyone had access to LOLcats??

  3. Dragon says:

    Sweet Baby Jebus!! Will your campaign team be called the McWaynators? The republicans can use all the sizzle they can get right now. McSnooze could use some of your engery, my friend.

    Dragons last blog post..Poached Salmon with Mousseline Sauce

  4. Evil Genius says:

    All you had to say was LOL cats and you got my vote.

    Evil Geniuss last blog post..Evil Genius Working the Early Morning Shift

  5. Miss Britt says:

    Ah damn, and McWayne is such a good name too.

    Unfortunately, I’m full up on the JObama Kool-Aid right now. It was just too… what’s the word… fresh? to turn down.

    Miss Britts last blog post..The Tits

  6. Janna says:

    Oooh! Oooh!
    Can I be the Vice Presidential Director of LOL Whalls?

    Jannas last blog post..Note to self: Use drive-up window next time

  7. martymankins says:

    So surprised that BlondeBlogger hasn’t jumped all over this yet. She’s too busy promoting herself for HotBlogger Calendar now. LOL

    Too bad your last name wasn’t Fly… then you could be McFly… and use a DeLorean as your tour vehicle.

    martymankinss last blog post..Random Leakage #4

  8. Winter says:

    I’m laughing to hard to comment. I started to catch my breath (I’m asthmatic. I need more time than the ordinary person.) when I read Marty’s comment. Oy. You’re too funny!

    Winters last blog post..Summer of Love

  9. martymankins says:

    Thanks, Winter. Sorry for inducing the asthma attack.

    martymankinss last blog post..Random Leakage #4

  10. whall says:

    Dave2, if by “nothing” you mean he has no magical ability to hypnotize the masses with empty promises, that is correct. 🙂

    Raganator, Vote for McWayne: a LOLcat in every pot.

    Dragon, The GOP can have all the sizzle they want from me. sizzle and a vote.

    Evil Genius, McWayne: bringin’ da lolz

    Miss Britt, yeah, nobody would argue with you if you said McCain wasn’t fresh. Toilets aren’t fresh either, but we still depend on them.

    Janna, I name Janna to be the LOLczar

    martymankins, “Doc! You made a … VOTING MACHINE? OUT OF A DELOREAN!?!?!?”

    and she can promote herself for HBC all she wants. But you’re right – I thought she would find it particularly entertaining. I’ll have to go nudge her to visit now that she’s getting all this comment press.

    Winter, didja like the smiley face in our McWayne logo? It’s kind of submilinal marketing to get people to like us.

  11. kapgar says:

    So what’s your stand on the bill that supports mandatory minimum pay for bloggers? Tread carefully as this will determine whether or not I vote for you… well, McCain with you in tow, that is.

    kapgars last blog post..And even when your hope is gone, move along…

  12. whall says:

    kapgar, I might support mandatory MAXIMUM pay for bloggers, but if you want minimum pay, you should try not working so hard.

  13. kapgar says:

    Excellent! Where do I vote again?

    kapgars last blog post..Who are you, who, who…

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