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Hi, This is Wayne. This is my site, my stuff, my blog, blahblahblah. The site itself is powered by WordPress and the Scary Little theme. I thought it was cool, and I still do.

The results came in on the Hot Blogger Calendar contest, and out of 34,234 entrants (which is about as high of a number as 128 to Rain Man), they chose the top twelve (12) vote-getters. I was #17 on the list. Oh way to go, contest-runners. Like you had to follow the rules this time?!?!?!?!

I’m thinking we should petition them to make an 18-month calendar. I mean, who uses 12-month calendars nowadays anyway, huh? Don’t you need a calendar that spans into half of the following year? Send your comments to the folks (Jane and Sarah) and demand the public’s right to an 18-month calendar! Go over to the results blog post and add a comment that says you want an 18-month calendar!

In the event they do not choose to make an 18-month calendar and include the great and powerful whall in their product, I have no choice but to take action. I will now attempt to disqualify enough people ahead of me so that I place in the top 12.

Here are the top vote-getters, aka “the final results“:

Let me just be a little contradictory here and say, those aren’t so final, haHA!  Here’s how I figure it:

“Winner” Votes Reason Expert Analysis
The Comics Curmudgeon 735 Cheating This guy is clearly a cheater. Even his initials, TCC, is too close to resembling “The Constant Cheater” for anyone to take a chance at thinking he’s honest. His name anagrams into not only “Eccentric Good Hummus” but also “Comedic Shogun Rectum” and what good ever came from either of those? NOTHING, I tell you.
Avitable 429 Sold soul to Devil Interesting fact: when Avitable sold his soul to Satan, it was the first time Satan was ever heard to say “I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.”
Geri Druckman 366 Has Girly Name Quick! Think of all the men who have the name “Geri” spelled that way. Yeah, I thought so. Compare that to “Wayne”. Say it aloud. “W-A-Y-N-E”. Yeah, that’s how it is. Uh-HUH.
Ghost of Keywork 212 Is a Ghost Sorry, the fine print of the contest rules clearly states “if you are a ghost and you win, you do not win, you lose because you are a ghost. We don’t expect you to understand it, because, well, you’re a ghost. And a loser. And you especially don’t win if you beat whall in the voting.”
Wil Wheaton (aka Wesley Crusher) 172 Just cuz Look, you don’t get to be in Star Trek as a kid AND win contests. Ever. You already won. YOU WERE IN STAR TREK. YOU DON’T GET ANYTHING ELSE. YOU WON.

 

Yes – I got beat by Wesley Crusher.

So now that I’ve successfully disqualified enough people, that should put me squarely in the top 12.

YAY FOR ME!!!!

Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou, [pause] thankyou, [bow], no, thankyou. Thanx. Thank you.

And lo, the people did comment thus:

21 Comments

  1. Winter says:

    I don’t think Wil Wheaton should have been allowed in. He’s already a celebrity. That totally offended me that they allowed him. And I agree that the comic guy cheated. He had to have. NO ONE knows that many people.

    Winter’s last blog post..Popped

  2. Dave2 says:

    Holy crap! How did I get on that list?

    Dave2’s last blog post..Commando!

  3. Can you change your petition to a 20 month calendar so I can be included too? 🙂

  4. Hilly says:

    I’m amused that Dave didn’t know he was on that list, especially since I knew he was. You would think I would have mentioned it, huh?

    Wayne, you don’t need their steeenkeeeng calendar. You’re a babe all by yourself.

    Hilly’s last blog post..Beneath The Sheets Of Paper Lies My Truth…

  5. Avitable says:

    What, NYCWD remains unscathed?

    Avitable’s last blog post..I don’t post on Sundays anymore.

  6. whall says:

    Winter, I could go along with you if they had indicated something in the rules ahead of time, but I’m only a fan of retroactive banishment if mob rules, and clearly, we do.

    Dave2, I think it had something to do with Commando Friday.

    BlondeBlogger, you know, that’s a good idea!

    Hilly, I’m not taken by Dave2’s faking. He’s just making himself look hotter by making it seem like he didn’t know he was on it, and STILL got 32 votes. The 66 votes I got were due to all the plugging, begging and pity-gathering I did. And by “babe” do you mean like the pig?

    Avitable NYCWD has the power of the Poppy protecting him.

  7. martymankins says:

    I love your breakdown and process of elimination. #17 on the list is not bad.

    So glad I didn’t have to sell my soul to Satan for this. Of course, if it were a Christmas calendar, would Avitable been required to sell his soul to Santa?

    martymankins’s last blog post..Pompous Asshole

  8. Yes, my husband shares his name with a Spice Girl, but he makes up for it in sheer manly hotness. 🙂

    Katherine Druckman’s last blog post..It’s official, my husband is hot

  9. kapgar says:

    Can you exclude enough to get me on there? I’m a bit further down than you. Just a teensy bit.

    kapgar’s last blog post..Open up your mouth and feed it…

  10. NYCWD says:

    Mmmmm… shouldn’t Pete Cashmore be DQed for having “more cash” than the rest of us… and therefore he can just do a calendar of himself???

    Just sayin’.

    For Kapgar’s benefit.

  11. Yes, whall, but apparently you did not read the even finer print:

    “Exceptions will be made if said Ghost is, in fact, more charismatic and much sexier than the living contestants BELOW him”.

    B-Low him. That’s almost funny, dead or undead. So, I’ll be haunting you later this month, any special requests? No, I’m not doing the Dicken’s thing this early on. The Dicken’s package is only available in December and other months where my usual ghost gig doesn’t pay like it should. Thanks for the nod,

  12. metalmom says:

    The Satan comment about Avitable’s soul cracked me up!!!
    Who needs a calendar? We have your ditl’s!!

    metalmom’s last blog post..Just stuff…

  13. sourpuss says:

    I agree that Wil Wheaton should be DQ’d !! Only ‘regular folk’ should be participating. Celebrities already get too many perks as it is; now they have to steal our contests away from us? Come on!

  14. sourpuss says:

    Also, IMHO, some of the blogs that won are ugly & boring.

    sourpuss’s last blog post..Ethan Bortnick

  15. Sybil Law says:

    I think I MAYBE got like, 5 votes. You did WAY better than me!
    Why not just set up your own photo shoot and make your OWN calender?! A Whall calender?!
    Haha
    Not funny.
    Okay.
    😀

    Sybil Law’s last blog post..Sistine Bubblewench

  16. Janna says:

    Wil Wheaton? Seriously?
    Surely you can dig up something scandalous from his past.
    Did he sleep with some underage Klingons, maybe?

    I mean, Avitable probably did, too, but when HE does it it’s cool.

    Janna’s last blog post..The formerly blue bird of happiness

  17. Dragon says:

    You’re too sexy for that calendar. You should have your own. Why should you share the spotlight? All Wayne, all year long. It shouldn’t be too hard to find 12 sexy pics of yourself. You could call it – Whall: The REAL Hot Blogger. I’d buy one. 🙂

    Dragon’s last blog post..Chocolate Coconut Truffles

  18. Sarah Morgan says:

    I think it’s fair to say that Jane and I had NO IDEA what we were in for when we started all this. We do, however, stand by our rules.
    …That said, if I were you, I’d be talking about how you beat Jamie Oliver. Cmon, he’s the NAKED CHEF! And you beat him!

  19. marilyn says:

    I didn’t even know Wil Wheaton was on the list…. Okay I would have voted for you anyway because he doesn’t ever comment on my blog.

    Spock doesn’t either. What’s up with that?

    marilyn’s last blog post..This Is A Brainy Blog!?

  20. Faiqa says:

    The bit about avitable was hilarious. Poor Wesley Crusher, how sad that some people believe he doesn’t deserve all the happiness that life has to offer just because he got to be on Star Trek when we was a kid.
    Oooh, does the guy that played Jean-Luc Picard have a blog? Now, he was hot.

  21. Robin says:

    I think you might have a good case there.

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