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Hi, This is Wayne. This is my site, my stuff, my blog, blahblahblah. The site itself is powered by WordPress and the Scary Little theme. I thought it was cool, and I still do.

At some point Tuesday morning on the way to work, I started hearing some flapping sounds from my rear left tire.  The faster I went, the faster the flapping.  Flap-flap-flap.  I thought maybe I ran over some plastic bag or something that wrapped itself or connected to the tire and it was hitting the wheel well.  I wasn’t sure what it was.  

So it kept flapping.  As I stopped at a light, the flap-flap-flap would slow to a crawl and stop with me.  I peered into my drivers-side rear-view mirror to see if I could see anything.  I told the mirror to move via the little joystick doohicky and that didn’t help.

I looked over to a road neighbor or two on my left hand side to see if anyone noticed anything untoward on my car.  Nothing.  I stuck out my tongue at them for their non-help.

So I pulled over and looked. I even tried to time the flap-flap….flap such that whatever was flapping would be on top and be visible.  I didn’t see anything immediately and so I kept going because, well, I’m impatient sometimes.  GET ON TO THE NEXT PARAGRAPH ALREADY!

Once I got to work, I checked more thoroughly and there was some hard round substance right there on the tire.  It felt like very hard gum and thought “wow, that’s weird”.  So I started picking at it and then realized… “That’s no moon.  That’s a Space Station.”

Now that I was coming full-face onto the realization that it was some kind of bolt or nail stuck in my tire, I thanked my lucky stars that the immediate visions I had of the tire exploding right there as I picked at the nail head and the bolt racing to my eyes or throat fortunately did NOT come true.  I didn’t even burst a jugular or anything!

So what did I do? I went on with my day.  I drove and drove… drove some more… probably drove 40 miles and then went to bed.  Ignoring problems frequently pays off in the short-term.

In my dreams…. Flap-flap-flap.  Always flapping.  Knowing that it’s probably gonna cost a ton of money to replace the tire and you know what? I’m not made of money.  So I slept on it some more and went into Lamb’s Tire and Auto the next morning on the way to work.

Fortunately (I’m a lucky person, did you know that?) I had bought Road Hazard on the tires so they fixed it up for free.  I was envisioning $200 a tire and you have to buy them in pairs, doncha know, and then they’d find some axle rose problem and I’d need a new trunk stabilizer and of course some “gasket” in the glove box was probably leaking fluid everywhere.

Nope.  I got out of there for $28 for the inspection I was overdue on and even got to keep the bolt as a souvenir.

So, wanna see the size of this thing?

What’s the largest thing ever caught in your tire?  Got any good flat tire stories I could use next time I need a good excuse, like when I’m trying to say why it took me six months to send Janna the book she won?  Or that I could give the other winners I’ve procrastinated on?

And lo, the people did comment thus:


  1. LeSombre says:

    I also speed up and slow down the fap-fap-fap, and I often hear “look at the size of that thing”. 😉

    LeSombre´s last blog post..Amard

  2. martymankins says:

    That’s a good size bolt. I’ve had nails, bolts and even a metal pen (writing pen, that is) in my tire. And it’s nice to have that road hazard coverage is nice. I have that at Firestone.

    martymankins´s last blog post..Random Leakage #6

  3. Mona Mildew says:

    My uncle had those self-sealing tires that seals up around the nail or whatever you run over to keep the air from escaping and maintain the tire pressure to drive on until you get it repaired. However, he ran over a piece of metal tubing of some kind. The tire sealed itself afound the outside, but the lumen of the tube let all the air out.

    Mona Mildew´s last blog post..Another version of whack-a-mole?

  4. Giggle Pixie says:

    Good criminey! I can’t believe you were able to drive all that distance without that tire going flat with that big of a bolt-hole!! You are indeed lucky. Get some more lottery tickets, man – what’re you waiting for???? 🙂

    Giggle Pixie´s last blog post..For the Love of Random

  5. You are hilarious! “axle rose” And the marker dot! ROFL!!

    I had a dry cleaning bag that was in the middle of the road get caught up beneath my car. I knew I’d run over it but didn’t know it was stuck under there. After a few miles of driving, I started to smell smoke and pulled over.

    The heat from the bottom of the car had started to melt and burn the bag. Glad I didn’t take your approach of ignoring it, lol.

    BlondeBlogger´s last blog post..Guess Who’s Going to Britney Spears’ Circus Tour?

  6. Tug says:

    I had a blow-out on the freeway in Phoenix, and my spare tire was melted to my trunk. After my friend & I fought it for awhile (to no avail), some truck driver with green underwear (eww) & very few teeth finally stopped & helped. You cannot use my story as an excuse to ME, but feel free to use it on someone else. 😉

    Tug´s last blog post..Dead Sunflowers

  7. kapgar says:

    You should’ve tried to time the flap, flap, flap with the beat of the song on your radio.

    kapgar´s last blog post..A wise man once told me…

  8. sourpuss says:

    That *is* a big bolt. And it always surprises me that something like that can get stuck in a tire because of how dull the point is and the physics required to drive over it while it lies on the ground has be to perfect to have it shift position enough to forcefully puncture the thick rubber.

    A few years ago, they installed ‘slow zones’ in our neighbourhood (they bring the curb out in certain sections of a residential area to narrow the roadway, forcing drivers to slow down). It was winter and there was no new warning signage and the outcroppings were covered with snow so I didn’t see them … and I drove right into it. My tire ‘sploded instantly. I couldn’t drive on it without wrecking the rim so I had to pull over & call my BIL to come change my flat because I didn’t have a jack.

    sourpuss´s last blog post..I can’t wait!

  9. Janna says:

    You sent my book! 🙂
    Can’t wait to read whatever you wrote with the marker.

    Janna´s last blog post..Thirteen things that would be inconvenient to lose in four feet of snow

  10. Karen says:

    It’s not so much a “tire” story as a “whole damn wheel” story. I was driving home from work and realized that at a certain speed, my steering wheel would jerk a little to the right and then my wheel would be off center as I was driving straight.
    Not good.
    I called my mechanic and he told me to drop it off that night at his garage and he would look at it the next day. I thought , great probably just needs an alignment, I’m out 50 bux.
    I had my roommate follow me to the garage so I wouldn’t have to walk the whole 2 miles home.
    10 feet from the parking lot at the garage my car lurches to the right, I hear and feel a bang and the right front end drops down. I’m like WTF now?
    I try to put my car in park, but it wont work. I try to turn it off, wont work because, well, gotta put it in park to get the keys out.
    My roommate comes around the car and asks if I’m ok. I told her I was fine and she started laughing.
    I asked her “what are you laughing about?”
    She had me get out of the car and walk around the side.
    By this time the local cops are there to investigate (small town NH, not much for excitement once the moose go into hiding).
    I walk around to the right side and had to start laughing…
    my whole damn wheel fell off the car and was dangling there by the “tie rod” (or so the mechanic later told me) and the axle had been pulled out and was on the ground.
    The cops were impressed.
    I had to call AAA to get a tow truck to move my car 10 feet into the parking lot and out of the street.
    I left a message for the mechanic. Told him I’d figured out why the car was pulling to the right. He didn’t find it as ironic as I had.

    Karen´s last blog post..From the OTHER side of collections calls.

  11. Okay – let’s try this one again…..

    The first time I ever got a flat tire, I was sixteen. My sister and her friend came to pick me up so that I could stay a few months at her house to figure schtuff out. It was about midnight when we heard the tell tale “flap flap flap” sound. This was before cell phones were common place and we were in the middle of freakin’ no where. So we got out of the car, trying to figure out how one three weeks post-c section and two pregnant chicks were going to change a tire – not that we were really sure how to do it anyway – without hurting ourselves.

    We saw a car driving on the other side of the interstate, which then turned around at the next little u-turn section. When they pulled up, two young men got out of the car to see what was wrong. My sister, being all over protective, made me get back in the car with the baby. Lucky for us, they really were just two nice guys seeing if they could help us. They changed our tire and went on there merry way.

    Kind of anti-climatic, I know. BUT I much prefer the happily ever after ending over the stuff you see on the news and in the movies.

    Sheila (Charm School Reject)´s last blog post..Battling on the Home Front

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