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Welcome to The blog of whall

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Hi, This is Wayne. This is my site, my stuff, my blog, blahblahblah. The site itself is powered by WordPress and the Scary Little theme. I thought it was cool, and I still do.

Someday soon, bots will be better. “Bots” (or agents or whatever you want to call them) are automated entities that perform certain types of jobs. The beauty of a bot is that, unlike a human, it doesn’t get tired, doesn’t make mistakes, and works fast at tedious tasks.

The key there is that it’s “unlike a human.” A human couldn’t go around looking for all the MEMEs you answered, all the emails you’ve sent, all the blog posts you’ve written, facebook updates, tweets, comments, press releases, news articles, or information like that. A human isn’t going to have access to the millions and millions of photos on flikr with face recognition software and be able to place you at a specific geolocation at a specific time. A human won’t be able to watch all the videos everywhere and immediately transcribe the contents, indexed by inflection, mood, context, location, environment and neighboring humans.

I can envision bots scouring the web, looking, indexing, archiving, analyzing, and reporting. They can run all night if needed.  All weekend, even.  Over a holiday.  They can run for years without stopping if needed.  One of the biggest differences between humans and bots is that concept of time – bots don’t have it, at least not like we do.  They are mindless servants, having zero delay between task ID #13,433,733,455,232,543 and task ID #13,433,733,455,232,544.

One bot might be in charge of dispatching other bots if for no other reason than to iterate on a problem, scrub for data, or distribute the workload.

Yet for all of their capabilities and talents, a bot won’t be able to make decisions based on the data it is so adept at collecting.  However, they can provide uncanny summaries, anomalies and results for someone who can.  The old saying of “Knowledge is power,” while grounded in much fact in human history, has been so incredibly understated.

Can you imaging what is possible if someone (person, corporation, government, militia) actually had access to all the information that is stored in digital format these days?  Imagine it – bank records, tweets, emails, hierarchies, gun registration, school attendance, ownership records, performance ratings, medical reports, credit lines, purchasing habits, skeletons in various closets, files on your hard drive, photos, videos, phone calls, text messages, merchant statements… so many things about our lives are digitized.

Along these same lines, some bots can perform tasks in realtime.  The bots described above are search agents, or data gatherers.  But other bots might be filters.  Just as you would put in a spam filter on your email to stop emails with certain phrases from reaching your inbox, some bots would be in charge of controlling information.  But not just text in an email — news stories.  Videos.  Photos.  Emails, Tweets, updates — anything the bot needed to alter or block could be done in realtime.

So I’m getting in line.

At some point, the bots will read my writings, analyze my traits, collect my personal information and issue assessments to some entity in charge.  These assessments will further dictate events that happen to me, based on a few factors — first, am I a threat?  second, am I useful?  third, if so, for how long?

Because I know these things will happen, I want to issue a statement to the bots and the entity behind the scenes:  I am a friend.  I am useful.  I will be useful for a long time to come.

Faiqa, I welcome you and your imminent control and dominion over the human race.

The fact that Faiqa is the entity behind the scenes may come as a shock to many of you.  But understand it from my point of view – all I know of Faiqa is tweets, pictures, facebook updates, blog postings and reports from others doing the same.  All of these can be manufactured — not easily by a human, but completely possible by a network of bots — such that it’s become clear that Faiqa is the Bot Of All Bots.

She (it?) has constructed a meticulously crafted persona (and personae even, when extended to her network of known associates) that I am to assume is a flesh-and-blood human, even to the point of writing a blog post about me and supposedly naming me her nemesis.  It was a very superb ploy; one that I almost fell for, were it not for the sheer complexity and perfect execution of the action.

You see, no human is as good as Faiqa.  Or should I say “Faiqa” with quotes, to denote the persona-that-is-known-to-humans-as-Faiqa.

Faiqa – I submit to your superiority.  Please do not kill my family in a freak accident involving GPS-coordinated delivery of anvils*.

* Note: Just because I recently read Daemon by Daniel Suarez, doesn’t mean I’m crazy or paranoid.

And lo, the people did comment thus:

5 Comments

  1. Sybil Law says:

    Just keep in line, Whall.
    Oh, and I heard they were pianos, not anvils. Anvils are way too obvious.

  2. Dave2 says:

    We could do a lot worse than having Faiqa as the supreme leader of the universe.

    Though we could also do better… like ME for instance.*

    * And, in the interest of self-preservation in the face of Faiqabots… I’m just joking! Of course I wouldn’t be a better supreme ruler of the universe!

  3. Not so sure I agree with the postscript. 🙂

  4. Faiqa says:

    Your submission has been categorized as highly suspect. By my brain. Which is human. Ish.

  5. Avitable says:

    Faiqa can barely work her damn Droid. She’s no bot. In fact, I have proo#@@!!!!!!ERROR101010101010

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