I think Google is getting in on the Green, Environment, We Need To Reduce Our Dependency on Foreign Oil bandwagon.  I’m tagging this as a “conspiracy theory” because it’s sexy to do so.

As you may have learned from my Twitters and Utterz, I’ve started riding the bus to work.  I’m actually typing this on my laptop on the bus on the way home.  They really need to put some work desks in.  I’m serious.  Since when is a laptop supposed to actually go on your lap?!??  If they’d just put in a few airline-style workdesks or maybe just a table or something for a couple seats, I bet more professionals might find it worthwhile.

But I digest.

Reason #1: Google helps people ride the bus

So one of the things I’ve been using Google for is to find the next few times for my local bus stop.  It’s pretty amazing!  The bus stop just shows up on google maps, and when you click on it, it tells you the next two or three times that the bus should be there.

About the only thing that would be cooler is if I could give it a range of times and have it alert me 15m before the bus automatically and then magically “know” when I’m on it or in my car so it stops bothering me.

Google helps people plan walks

I noticed this today when trying to get directions out to a very secluded place out in the country where we could watch the Persoid Meteor Shower Monday night.  We really wanted to get out of the city, away from light pollution and really be able to see the stars and comet debris that is supposed to be drifting into our atmosphere over the next couple of days.

This land is way out in Bastrop, TX.  I’ve been there maybe once.  But it would be perfect for what we want, so I got the address and googled it.

The first thing I noticed was that it was 50+ miles away.

The second thing I noticed was that it offered a “Walking” dropdown.  Um, what?  So naturally I tried it out and it was actually shorter to walk!  I saved more than a full mile (2 percent, for those of you keeping track) of my horizontal traveling if I just chose to walk instead.

 Of course, the trip would take 17.5 hours, but I’m saving A FULL MILE.

I also noticed that the actual journey changed quite a bit.  When going by car, the route looked like this (blue line is the car route):

yet if I walked, the rout changed I went through a lot of side streets, trees, or secret military installations. (Tip: any time a map does NOT indicate that it’s part of a secret military installation, chances are it might be a secret military installation.  I mean, it’s not like they’re going to advertise it, right?)

And here’s the revised walking-enhanced route (same blue line):

So since Google is going to start pushing Walking as an option, that’s another nail in the Conspiracy Theory coffin.

There’s only one known blog post about this Conspiracy Theory

One of the biggest tip-off’s on conspiracy theories is how few people know about it.  Think about it - have you ever heard of this before now?  And I bet if you Google about conspiracy theories that involve Google, you just KNOW they’re filtering them out. And they’re probably reporting you to themselves somehow.  If something weird or unnatural happens to the author of that one blog post, then you’re guaranteed to be smelling like a Conspiracy Theory.

For example, that single author might be all-of-a-sudden unfunny.  Or he might be “delayed” in his video blogs for a month with little to no explanation.  It could be anything!  Maybe *I’m* the “dead man walking” Google-style.

BE AWARE, PEOPLE!  Trust no-one.

‘cept me.  You can trust me.

Has anyone else noticed how many Penguin-themed movies there are for kids?

(ok, I admit Madagascar wasn’t BASED on penguins, but the penguins in the movie were a lot funnier than Ben Stiller as Alex the lion.  Maybe not funnier than Chris Rock as Marty the zebra, but still, the navigating conspiratorial mutinous penguins made that movie.)

So all these kids movies starring penguins.

Getting kids to love penguins.

All dem penguins.

Penguins.

Why the push?  I suspect a conspiracy.  I mean, Linux has the penguin as their mascot.  Maybe someone really wants to get back at Bill Gates and Microsoft for dominating the market with their operating system, and they feel that 15-20 years down the line (well, I guess 10 years now) the people making decisions about operating systems will subliminally choose a penguin over a windows logo.  Maybe someone is investing a LOT of money in supporting Linux and having an open source operating system would really help towards that goal, or with virtual machines.

Seriously, which would you choose?

Believe me, a good logo or a name means A LOT when people make decisions.  It’s not everything, but it’s important.  How many of you believe Dell wasn’t chosen at times because it was easy to say?  Only geeks could spell Compaq or Hewlett-Packard correctly, too many people laughed when they said “Wang” and although cows are cute, Gateway sounded too technical, like a router.  Like with IBM and Cisco, you “couldn’t get fired for buying a Dell” and it didn’t hurt that their prices were good, support was good, back end systems were good, yada yada.  Having a good product alone doesn’t mean the product is successful, as we saw with Betamax vs VHS.

Even in Toy Story, the penguin was portrayed as someone needing a hand, and when Woody got the penguin’s squeaker back, he could sing it up like no-one’s business, almost like “he just needed a chance…”

However, even further I suspect something way beyond an operating system choice.

Guess what the mascot is of the Libertarian Party?

Seriously, which would you choose?

I’d say this marks a major shift in our political climate over the next 20 years as penguin-indoctrinated people turn voting age.  We’ll also see how many more penguin-themed items, movies, songs or other pop-culture entities make their way into our collective memory.