About the author.

Welcome to The blog of whall

Come on in and stay a while… laugh a little. Maybe even think. Read more...

Hi, This is Wayne. This is my site, my stuff, my blog, blahblahblah. The site itself is powered by WordPress and the Scary Little theme. I thought it was cool, and I still do.

This used to be a Sunday thing, but this past year it’s been mostly a “whenever” thing. I’m going to try to put some structure back in.  Being late is also a common thread with me, so the structure I put back in is to be late this week by doing it on Monday.

Blog Strategy Rethink

I uttered recently how I think I’m going to drop the political posts from ye old personal blog of whall.  

I know some people have stopped visiting here because we’re so incompatible from a political standpoint, and that bothers me.  A lot, actually.  I don’t feel like I’m hateful or even unfair in my writings, but for some, my viewpoint alone is enough to shun some of the readers.  And while I don’t want to be restricted in what I can write, I also don’t want to alienate people when it can be avoided easily enough.

It’s not just the dropped readers or the perceived backlash that’s having me take action, however.  Ceiling Cat knows that I’ve had my share of the poopooing of LOLcat presence here on the blog, and they’re not going anywhere anytime soon.

Part of is that when I start writing politically, it’s hard to stop.  When I get on a roll, I want to write, write, write.  If I didn’t have the forethought to stop myself, I’d have a run of posts all pointing out this travesty, that issue, blah blah blah and I’d be remembered as the blog that went to washington or something.

I don’t mind being known as “the Republican with LOLcats” or something whimsical like that, but I don’t want to be known as the “anti-Obama crazy LOLcat lady” and I don’t want people hating me.  At least not on whall.org.

So from this point forward, I’m not going to be doing any political-themed posts on this blog.  I will probably continue the political utterz, but that’s only an entry in the sidebar.  There is an outlet somewhere for me, I know and I’d rather people hate me there instead of here.

As some of the replies of my utter have pointed out, it’s about the goal of my blog.  The age-old question of “who do you blog for? yourself? or your readers?” rears it’s head.  I’m not one to just shut up because there’s a disagreement, but the goal of this particular blog is to be a fun place.  I don’t want it to be a political debate any more.  I don’t want to foster an argument.  At least, not here.

So I’m going to go find a home for my political writing elsewhere.  I’ll probably add a comment to this post with where I land.


I decided to give the TV show Heroes a try, and have burned through the first four episodes.  

The verdict?  My 14yr old daughter and I like it a lot.  The wife… eh, not so much.  The only minor problem now is finding times that the daughter and I can actually watch TV together.  Our schedules are pretty varied, and it’s not often that we can just sit and partake of the television.  

We received the initial discs from Blockbuster Online (Disc 1 and Disc 2) and now I’m trying to decide if we want to get the rest via BB Online, just rent them at Blockbuster as some of the free ones we get when we return other discs, or if I should just watch the episodes online separate from my daughter, and we go our separate ways on this show.

My “favorite” character so far is the mind-reading cop.  However, my favorite power would be the time-space continuum one, manifested by Hiro.  

If you watch, do you have a favorite character? (please, no spoilers!  I just started season one).

Best of LOLcats

What brings hoomans together and haz us singing 2geffer more than political differences?  LOLcats!  And because I haven’t included them in so long, I give an extra long dose!



I composed this utter on the way to work this morning, and liked it so much I decided I’d transcribe it and make it my post today.

(I can’t wait for auto-dictation on utterli)

So click on over there and listen to me talking about it off the cuff, or read on in the extended entry.


Sincere and heart-felt congratulations to Barack Obama and the 62 million voters who made him President-Elect Tuesday night. The long, hard-fought and sometimes nasty battle won’t be missed by many and we knew that no matter which side won, there would be millions of Americans just a bit more than slightly upset come Wednesday morning.  

President-Elect Obama 

I’m actually doing a little dance in my heart for the incredible hurdle that’s been passed with making, on record and forever more, the color of one’s skin a non-issue when it comes to the highest elected office.  It’s been said that the end of racism comes when a black candidate runs for President and no-one notices. I’ll add to that –  Affirmative Action is but a bandaid, the removal of which indicates the last step of healing.   There may always be a scar, but the scar reminds us of past mistakes and helps us to not repeat them.

With regards to the outcome of the 2008 Presidential Election, however, most of my initial gut reactions might make some of those 62 million hate me.  Or dislike me.  Or question me at the least.  Most of the time, I don’t care about these things, especially when dealing with a core belief.  However, this time, I’m going to take the opportunity to learn a lesson in life about keeping one’s mouth shut.  At least, I’m going to try.

So instead of writing what’s on my mind, I’ll turn it to the constructive side.  If you’re wondering if I can be constructive and positive when it comes to Obama winning the Presidency, all I have to say about that is

Yesterday I wrote a comment on an NPR blog entry asking people to write their “Dear President Obama” letters. Here it is for your edification:

Dear President Obama.

Congratulations on your new role, the highest office known to America. The people have spoken, and with their majority voice they decisively sang out “we want you.” I know I don’t have to tell you anything about how important you are right now.

You spoke of unity and oneness in your acceptance speech. My only request is to keep that promise – do not further divide the country. I implore you to *please* prove your critics wrong by solidly and unequivocally avoiding these actions:

– Taking away our guns
– Taxing us into oblivion
– Spending us into the grave
– Buying votes with more services
– Instituting Financial Racial Reparations
– Taking from earners and giving to the lazy
– Appointing Ayers to *any* Gov’t role
– Removing “In God We Trust” from money
– Changing the Pledge of Allegiance
– Outlawing the Bible
– Call for UN Forces to be stationed on American Soil
– Renounce your Oath of Presidential Transparency
– Declare Martial Law within 1st 100 days of term

Please do not misunderstand. I personally do not expect that you will do these things. But if you could publicly sign, vow, and promise that you would never, EVER do any of the above (which seems easy to me), I bet you’d win over a TON of Republicans and Independents.

If we can agree to the above list, we’ll get along just fine.


J. Wayne Hall
Austin, TX

I thought about my list a little longer and wanted to go a step further.

I want to pose a friendly challenge to Obama supporters.  I’m wondering how far your faith in him goes.  Could he do *anything* and you’d still like him?  Are you Kool-Aid drinkers, or intelligent informed deciders?  Are you an Obamabot, or are you just a regular every-day voter who has an opinion?

How big of a blank check did you just hand Obama?

Or, put another way, what, if anything, could Obama do to lose your support?

Yeah, that’s the better question.  Is there ANYthing Obama could do, now that he’s won the Presidency, that would make you think “Hmm, he shouldn’t be doing that.”  

Would anything scare you?

So I present to you, in poll format, a list of things for you to choose that says “yes, if he did this, that doesn’t seem right.”

What could Obama do that would make him lose favor in your eyes?

View Results

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Personally? I’d feel better if everyone agreed that all of these items need to be checked.  But if you differ in opinion, voice it here.  

Or if I missed an item, let me know.

I’m wondering a few things today… if anyone will do a blog post today and NOT mention the election; if Obama can lose and NOT have rioting in the streets; if people can actually open up their minds and realize polls are evil concoctions of lies upon lies.

But as I sit and wonder, I submit to you a few important reminders about today and tomorrow.


The Democratic National Committee has finally won their long-sought bid to segregate the vote.  The DNC believes that the only way to truly be accurate in vote counting is to have one party vote one day and the other party vote the second day.  That way, we only have to count bodies who show up, not actually tally any specific vote.  I applaud the effort towards accuracy.

As much as I hate to admit it, the Democrats are right on this issue: we should have separate days for voting.  I also admit that the Conservatively-biased right-wing media has hidden this landmark win by the DNC and I’m ashamed for it.  So I will be fair, “reach across the aisle,” so to speak, and remind all of the Democrats to vote tomorrow (Wednesday, November 5th).  Let the evil Republicans cast their vote today and then you’ll have all day tomorrow to cast.  Remember: if you vote today, your vote won’t count, so be sure to show up to the polling stations tomorrow.  

Don’t waste your vote!  Don’t just Vote FOR Tomorrow.  Vote tomorrow!


With all the confused Democrats out there, expect the exit polls to be tilted.  Even Matt Drudge, arguably the most liberal reporter out there, admits that exit polls almost always tilt Democrat.  This may be for a number of reasons, one of which is that the democrat voter might have more time on their hands to sit around and take a poll.  Another might be that they’re better looking (most of Hollywood is Democrat; therefore, Democrats are statistically more beautiful), so the poll-takers gravitate to them in a zombie-like trance, stunned by their aesthetic awesomeness.

The key thing to remember, fellow Conservatives, is to NOT be swayed by the misleading poll numbers and reports.  YOU SHOULD KNOW that the main stream media will “call the election” way early. You know how Christmas is already here, and it’s just barely November? People like to get ahead of themselves.  

In normal fashion, CNN, ABC and NBC have already predicted Obama has won his second term in 2012.


Friends, I have a friend named Ren that was my friend.  Let me tell you a story.

There once was a wise wizard named Gandalf.  (In this story, I’m Gandalf).

There was also a VERY WISE and mentor-like wizard named Saruman.  Saruman is the first in his order.  Many people look up to him for council and mentorship.  (In this story, Ren is Saruman).

Then there was Sauron, aka “Abhorred”.  Eru (“the One”, aka GOD) created Sauron.  Sauron is the most evil and will take over the world unless vanquished by a Fellowship.  (In this story, Obama is Sauron)

(image taken from splendoroftruth.com)

When I learned that Ren had been deceived by the Deceiver, I felt as Gandalf must have felt.  The *one* person in the entire who could formulate and articulate an argument to get me to open up and even THINK about any good Obama could do, actually went over to the other side!  Fortunately for me I see the Eye of Sauron firmly entrenched in Ren’s core and will fight to resist.

That, or I’ve been smoking too much of the halfling’s weed.




I predict that some bloggers may just decide to stop reading my entire blog just from the title of this entry.  I’m hoping, however, that most of them are at least open-minded enough to let me post my opinion and still come by every now and again for the vast amount of non-political blog posts I do.

I’d also like to point out that I do not require anyone to agree with me.  You can comment, disagree, point out where I’m wrong, and have a healthy debate and you will be welcome for it.  Hurtful comments, however, or profanity, slurs, or offensive material is not welcome.

My views are not unchangeable; but they are unshakable.

I did a few politicial utters recently (audio recordings) – Why no Photo ID required to Vote, No Really – Why no Obama records, and Media Bias example w/Obama and Campaign Finance.  I did them because these three issues were heavy on my mind. I had other questions as well, but lacked the time to adequately convey them in the written word.

Well, I actually found that someone else had done the work for me.  It’s definitely not exactly how I’d write it, but it’s close enough for me.  It starts off with a lack of bias but the writing throughout is still anti-Obama.  I don’t hide the fact that I see this article as written with a conservative bias.  But I don’t see them presenting any lies or making an item bigger than it really is.

And you know what? the title of the article will probably piss off even more people.  But I will say this – if you’re planning on voting Obama tomorrow, can actually read though all of the article and still vote for Obama, then I can more easily say I respect your vote.  Heck, I already respect your vote.  You’re an American Citizen!  You have a voice!  I’m just hoping your voice is a normal, everyday voice and not one that’s just chanting Obama over and over, enamored with the idea of a leader instead of a real substantive one..

(note: I only respect your vote if you are an American Citizen.  I do not respect you if you are non-existant.  What do I mean by non-existant?  Well, Indiana has more registered voters than there are population – that’s right.  105% of the voters are registered.  Can anyone say voter fraud?)

And now – the article.  Try not to throw tomatoes.

The Comprehensive Argument Against Barack Obama


And just to prove I’m not 100% political and offensive on these posts, here’s a little levity.

Don’t forget to check out Barackula – the Musical.  “I vant to suck your vallet!”

Barackula is a short political horror rock musical about young Barack Obama having to stave off a secret society of vampires at Harvard when he was inducted into presidency at the Harvard Law Review in 1990. Obama (Justin Sherman) finds that he must convince the vampire society that opposing political philosophies can coexist or else the society may transform Obama to the dark side. Reminiscent to Michael Jackson’s Thriller and a slight infusion of Jesus Christ Superstar and The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

5:16 pm
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I started thinking about this topic on the way to work this morning… then thought “hey, can I fit this into 140 characters or less and say something on twitter?” and then figured I needed more space and thought “maybe I can could do an utter insteadI *am* a newly designated Utterly Ambassador, after all…

But then I decided I needed to do a blog post.



You may or may not have heard about some people crying about Sarah Palin purchasing some hundred and fifty grand worth of clothing, hair, accessories, etc over a two month period.  There’s plenty of discussion, talk, opinion and hyperbole out there for you to choose from, so I thought I’d not bore you by repeating all those points of view here.

Instead, I give you FRESH, new whalltabulous thinking!

1st Point – it’s not taxpayer funded

Ok, I lied. This point isn’t actually unique.  A lot of places have pointed out that this $150K is fron the Republican National Committee, NOT funded by tax rolls.  However, I think it worthy to point this fact out because I still get the creepy feeling when I hear the stories on the radio or read about it online; the journalists do not try to make that clear.  I suspect they are trying to play on people’s class envy strings and crass “Look at them! They don’t deserve better than you! You need to hate them!!!” attitude.

2nd Point – it’s GOP money paying more taxes

$150,000.  That’s a lot of dough.  Assuming 8% sales tax, that’s $12,000 taken from Republican pockets and put where?  RIGHT BACK into the tax system.  I would think the Democrats would LOVE this!  These high-end department stores like Saks Fifth Avenue and Neiman Marcus supposedly rake in all the BIG BUCKS, so they get to tax the high profits as well, so that’s another 5-digits of income for the tax system, right?

I mean – taking money away from evil rich republicans and letting the politicians put it where they want to?  I can just hear them now… “Sounds like a dream come true!  Whoohoo!  I hope they spend a LOT of money on stuff like this instead of the campaign in Florida or Indiana or more advertisments!”  Can’t you? 

3rd point – it helps the economy

Once again, it’s money from Republicans that helped pay for these goods, and in order for there to be goods, there are some things that have to be there first.  Buying these goods helping people have work to make the goods, ship the goods, sell the goods, borrow the goods the night before for a night out on the town with the price tag still on.  They’re indirectly helping the economy with such a big purchase.

4th point – clothes destined for charity

As the campaign announced, the clothes were going to be donated to charity after they were used, in accordance with rules regarding campaign expenditures for long-term benefit to the candidates.  So once again, it’s GOP money helping out the poor, disadvantaged folk who are living in poverty without their Coach purses and Gucci cat collars.

There are probably other salient points out there worth investigating, but these four are enough for my fingers today. 

Maybe even after all these benefits are to be gained, there are still those in the mdia that weigh them against the envy factor in the news and think it still better to yell out loud the private business of a presidential candidate, in the hopes to drum up additional partisan hatred and vitriol.

Makes me wonder why they changed their mind from back in the Clinton years.  I mean, back THEN, the private business of a presidential candidate was off limits….

I’ve been thinking about all the crap I hear on TV, radio, on emails, blogs, comments, smoke signals, and scratched in braille on the ATM keypad.  There’s spin, spin, spin.  Everywhere.

Today my frustration peaked when some knucklehead on the radio (see the spin creeping in already?) say “You know that Joe the Plumber guy? Well it turns out, he’s not even a licensed plumber.”


(see that spin I just put in? Cool, eh?  I sighed electronically, and hopefully your opinion is swayed my way).

Now, I’m smart enough to pose the question internally… so what if he’s not licensed?  Are plumbers even licensed?  Is he supposed to be licensed?  I know that code varies from state to state, and even county to county for lots of occupations.  For example, electricians – do you happen to know if you have to be licensed to be a Journeyman in your area to touch live wires?  In some places, you don’t.

But.  Even.  More.  Imporantly.  What the heck does any attribute about the questioner have to do with the actual question?  And, therefore, the subsequent answer?   It seems to me that the whole “Joe The Plumber” story is: Joe asked a hard question, Obama let it slip that he wants to redistribute wealth, so now people are going to attack Joe and try to discredit him somehow, and by inference, make Obama’s answer inconsequential. 

One of the sound bites even claimed “Joe’s not even his name.”  The guy’s name is Samual Joseph Wurzelbacher and goes by his middle name.  Hmm, I do that.  My middle name is Wayne.  Maybe Obama is jealous since if HE went by his middle name, he’d be… oh never mind.

Here’s a test I just made up.  Take the following sentence, and examine how it makes you feel when you read it.

While [the husband] was at a meeting at the Waldorf-Astoria at 4 p.m. Wednesday, [name] called room service and ordered lobster hors d’oeuvres, two whole steamed lobsters, Iranian caviar and champagne.  For all we know, campaign funds paid for this entire elite meal.

So here’s the question: if the “name” listed was Cindy McCain, does it make your blood boil?  What if it was Laura Bush?  Are you mad?  What if it was Lynne Cheney?

My point here is that the name (aka “target”) shouldn’t color the substance of the story.  The story is the story.  If you listen to some news story and it makes you mad, swap the “target” of the story with the name of someone you like.  Does the story still seem as bad? 

How about this sentence:

[name] pushed for increasing CHIP funding (Childrens’ Health Insurance Plan) by at least five billion dollars, but partisan opponents delayed the funding, causing millions of children to risk living without insurance.

Are you thinking about what name might go in there?  Do you think it’s Clinton?  Obama?  Ted Kennedy? 

Nope, it’s George W. Bush.

What kind of bias frustrates you the most?

Sorry, all. I need to make an apology.

Yesterday I was all in a panic. Here’s how my brain works: because Nobody was following me on Twitter, I equated that with the world ending. How narcissistic is that??!??! I mean, who am I to think that the entire world’s existence depends on some part of MY life? Do I really expect the. entire. world. to. schedule itself based on what happens to me?

In short, yes. Yes I do.


Heh-HA!  Now I’m confident the world will at least stay around until October 28th, 2011.

(thanx, person-who-knows-who-they-are)

And that’s not ALL the good news either.  Now, please don’t think I’m just bragging and stuff, but it looks like I’m… oh man, this is so exciting!  I’m poised to win… I CAN HARDLY CONTAIN MYSELF! it seems that I’m smack dab in line to ….


I’m going to WIN $100,000!!!!!

That’s right!  Just look at this – Predictify teamed up with Rock the Vote and made a new contest called the $100,000 Election Showdown!

All I gotta do is make 15 accurate predictions – the overall popular vote winner and the winner in 14 battleground states – and I win!

But the win is empty without you.  Specifically, I mean without your help.  See, I can’t get my money unless a lot of people make predictions.  They add $1 to the pot with every prediction (up to a hundred grand), so I need YOU to go there and donate your prediction to my winnings.

You might ask yourself – how do I know I’m going to win?  Well that’s an easy answer – because I’m the only one honest and brave enough to predict McCain winning all of those states!  AND the popular vote!  You might think I’m stupid for giving out my winning strategy but I know that no-one will copy me.  They’ll all start off copying me, and then they’ll say “eh, what are the chances he’ll will ALL of them – maybe he won’t win THIS one or THAT one” and then they’ll make their own customized vote combo.  Which leaves all the money to me!

Man.  Just THINK of the DITL’s I can make with $100,000…

The first part of the blog title is an example of Anguish Languish.  That’s the process of writing a word, phrase or even an entire Fairy Tale using completely different real words that phonetically sound like the original word.  For example, “English Language” becomes “Anguish Languish”.  “Little Red Riding Hood” becomes “Ladle Rat Rotten Hut”.  Say it out loud and you can kind of hear what is meant.

Here’s one of my more favoritest examples from Ladle Rat Rotten Hut:

“Wail, wail, wail!” set disk wicket woof, “Evanescent Ladle Rat Rotten Hut! Wares are putty ladle gull goring wizard ladle basking?”

The use of the word “Evanescent” for “if it isn’t” is simply genius.

The title of this blog post, “Copyrights Infringement,” is a double-pun because there’s a phrase there – a cop writes an email in an out-of-the-way mint.  While kind of nonsensical, it is a real sentence. 

Being that I can never stop a theme, I present to you two examples of potential copyright infringement. 

The first is the most obvious, the example being if I were to include a Pearls Before Swine comic panel here representing A) my all-time favorite comic strip and B) a not-so-lighthearted political view that’s gaining additional merit each passing day.

True.  Oh, so true. 

But anyway, I know I can go to Comics.com and view this particular comic strip online.  They have ads online and attempt to make money while people look at the comics. I respect that and support it (maybe a little too frequently based on my wallet size recently).  Also, I can “send comic to a friend” which will email someone a link to this particular comic because it made me laugh/think/angry.

However, the problem is that the link is only good for 2 weeks.  What I want to do is embed this comic INTO my blog post so that when someone reads my blog post, they can read the comic.  But I *also* want to respect their capitalism.  I want Stephan Pastis, genius that he is, rich.

So it seems to me that it would be in comics.com best interest to give me the ability to embed their comic, a la youtube or the daily memes/quizzes so that I can put the comic out there, but Comics.com gets a built-in plug.

The second example is something forwarded to me by email, called “The 545 People Responsible For All of America’s Woes” by Charley Reese, a former columnist for the Orlando Sentinel Star newspaper.  I’m not sure if it’s copyright infringement if I’m saying “this is who wrote it, and this is where I got it.”  I’ll take my chances because, man, this text says SO MUCH.  It’s not Republican; it’s not Democrat. It’s American.

I’m putting that text in the extended entry to help save my front page.  The items that are no longer current, such as the name of the Speaker, the President and the number of people in the country are [italicized in brackets.]


7:49 am
Post Meta :

Let me state for the record that I have no concrete idea what the “Emergency Economic Stabilization Act of 2008” is about.  I’ve heard “bailout” and “fat cat severence” and “where’s the responsibility?” and a number of things that attempt to summarize it.  But I haven’t read exactly how the Senate crafted a way to spend $700B and I’m nowhere near informed enough to really understand whether it’s needed or not. 

However, I do know one thing.  It didn’t pass the House.  And the dow lost 777 points in one day.  Ok, that’s two things.

How close was it?  Well it was 228 to 205 (with 1 not voting).  That seems pretty darned close if you ask me.

So I wondered how my state (Texas) did.  Congress.org has a neat rollover US map where you can see, by color, which states had a majority Yea (green) and a majority Nea (red)

What I find interesting is that it was so close…. but only 15 states had a majority say “yea” and of course, that includes New York and California.  It struck me as odd at first that 15 states can make it so close, but then I realized that the red states just mean a majority, and that could be something like a 5-6 split.

Has anyone heard sensible talk about this bill anywhere?  So far I’ve only heard threats (Bush), complaints about it (talk radio), arrogance and condescension against people who are against the bill (other talk radio), but no straight talk.

I don’t expect a lot of comments on this blog post because A) it’s political, B) it’s 70% less funny than most of my blog posts and C) it uses a lot of weird numbers like “70%”.  Not only that, it has bad grammar.

But why not just do a quick comment and let me know what YOU think – as simple as…. hey I got an idea!  How about another poll!

Whatchu know about House Bill 674?

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