Technically they’re hazel, but they change from brown to green based on many things ranging from my mood, environment, clothing, financial state or presidential candidate’s economic policy.

Tribal knowledge tells me that when my eyes are green, I’m happier.  I have no scientific proof, log books, journals or tweets indicating a solid trend or causal effect.  But I have plenty of hyperbole and heresay that tell me when my eyes are green, it means I’m in a GREAT mood. 

Hmm, maybe I should make sure to wear sunglasses when playing poker.

My awesome eyes started their awesomeness when I was awesome as a young awesome child full of awesomeosity:

Oops, too young, and the picture is too fuzzy and doesn’t give enough detail.  Let me try again:

Ah, that’s better.

Sometimes I have my eyes tilted to the side:

Sometimes the eyes drift over to left for no reason:

Sometimes they’re protected in a silvery coating that reflects everything, from recording devices held up by a random appendage to a green trash container

And sometimes one eye decides to go off all on its own:

And if you REALLY wanted to look deep within my soul, now there’s a device that can do it.

(click for obscenely larger versions)

I know you *THOUGHT* these are from the Hubble Space Telescope, looking astronomically distant, beyond a distant galaxy and glimpsing the eye of God Himself while he peers into our Universe, but alas, it is only my own eyes.  But I repeat myself.

During my most recent trip to the optometrist (a new one we switched to), they have this Optomap thingy that takes a super high definition picture of the INSIDE of your eye. It supposedly helps them discover potential disease or maladies with your eyes better than just a visual examination by the doctor.

Either way, I found it quite cool.

More importantly, I’ve given you the above super obscenely large versions of the inside of my eye so you can finally have the computer wallpaper you’ve always dreamed of.