Here’s my problem.

I have a fantastic idea every now and again. Not a “good” idea.  Not just “great” even.  AMAZING.  High Caliber.  Uber-wicked.  Super.

When I have an idea like this, my brain explodes with all the details, and pieces taking form all at once.  The wonderment of it all excites me as I revel in the newness, creativity and anticipation of all the accolades I’ll receive upon completion of the idea.

However, many times, I never work on it.

*sigh*

Recently, while chatting w/LeSombre I had another one of these ideas.  Well, it was a decent idea; not necessarily awesome, but also not shabby.  And given an appropriate amount of effort, it could resemble awesome.  If executed properly, and if the vision in my head was actualized, it would be really darned cool.  But I’m starting to self-realize the “dreamer” aspect of my life and that, when I get an idea like this, I really should either drop it, or actually write it down and come back to it and pay some attention to it.

In this case (chatting with LeSombre), I formed the idea while chatting, and then even lamented out loud to him that I’d probably never work on it, and then he sorta offered to help, and that kinda sounds cool, and then I start thinking “at what point should you share out cool ideas for the sake of getting it out there vs keeping it and trying to be first and innovative.”

On the one hand, it’d be cool if there was an idea registration site, so if you had a nifty idea, you could login, describe it and kind of get social credit.  Others could view, add to it, “digg” it up, refine it, volunteer, maybe monetize it, etc.  I’d hate to lose the royalty-aspect of a really killer idea, but I have to believe the benefit to humankind would outweigh any minor squabbles.  Plus, if someone did monetize the idea and it was first documented on the idea site, coding ninjas would come out and levy swift justice.

Great. I just did it again.

LeSombre, being awesome as usual

Johnny Jacobs: Welcome back to the Roast of Wayne Hall. Our next roaster hails from Canadia. He gave up a promising football career to become a horrible blogger. They call him LeSombre because his LovelyWife insists they keep the lights off while making whoopee -Ladies and gentlemens, boys and girls of 13 years or more:  LeSooooooooooombre!

[Crowd goes nuts]

Thank you, thank you! Please sit down. 

Oh man, what an honour* to be on this dais with the rest of the roasters. When I saw the line-up for this week’s Roast, I was completely Verklempt. I mean, it’s not every day that I get to look this good just by standing next to a bunch of people. 

You know, when someone has a hard time writing on his own blog, and ends up blogging about the same things over and over again – sniffs, cries, pouts, my life sucks, hey look what I found online, Oh I might stop blogging soon – they normally don’t get invited to do one of these things. So how did you get invited here Karl?

Not to pounce on the elderly, but Karl was recently at a shopping mall with his daughters and got lost. His daughters went to the security office and said:

“We’ve lost our dad”

The mall cop asked, “What’s he like?”

They replied, “Jack Daniel’s and women with big bazongas.”

Speaking of big bazongas, Robin from the road less unravelled is here.

Robin is both Jewish and Irish. She married a gay man – typical Luck of the Irish. But then her Jewish heritage kicked in and she figured it was cheaper than hiring a maid.

And let’s say hello to Marty Mankins from bbumaccident.com (PG-13fied) who is gracing us with his presence. I’m certain that when I learned that Marty was going to guest post here, my reaction  was the same as yours:

Who?

But then of course I did a little research and was promptly disciplined at work for mistyping his URL. 

Eventually I gathered that Marty is the Snowy Sunday guy. Boy was that a disappointment when I realized it was about actual snow. Hey Marty, you know in Canadia we have a special channel that talks about snow 24/7/365. It’s called the window.

Speaking of the weather, I blame everything on Cissa, aka the Wiccan Witch of the East (Go Patriots!).

Maybe I should give Cissa a break because it’s not easy being a blonde Witch. For example, Cissa once put her broom in the washing machine because she wanted a clean sweep.  I asked Cissa how many Witches it took to change a light bulb. She said “Into what?”. 

What do you call 13 Witches in a hot tub? A Self-Cleaning Coven. Well, in Cissa’s case, that would be an awesome HNT. I might even convert from my Pastafarian ways for that.

And speaking of crazy chicks…

What can I say about SheilaCSR that has not been covered in the DSM-IV already? It’s really ill-advised to make fun of one’s Blogey Wife unless one doesn’t matter sleeping on the Blogey Couch and/or being in the Blogey Doghouse.  I sure have a knack to pick them, eh?

But enough about all these losers, let’s talk about the man of the hour week.

I have to tread really lightly here; I wouldn’t want to offend someone who thinks they have to own 300 handguns in case a polar bear attacks them. So I admit I was a little scared when Whall asked me to roast him. After all, he wants everything to be kept PG-13 – hence his use of “Whall’s 3-minute DITL” instead of “Whall’s 3-minute BEEEEEP”, and that’s not really my style.

So what can I say about Whall that would not get me in trouble?

Whall is such a Republican; he thinks “proletariat” is a type of cheese. He refers to me as “his Canadian friend” and secretly wishes I was black and gay. He doesn’t think “The Simpsons” is all that funny, but he watches it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense. He thinks HMO is a cable channel. He thinks spooning is something you do at Dairy Queen.

Yeah, I think I shouldn’t do that. What? This is not the rehearsal? Oh Sacrebleu!

Seriously Wayne, thanks for letting me guest post here. You are a cool guy and your geekdom – which is limitless, it seems – makes me feel normal. I hope you enjoyed your blogging break – I know we did. 

+++++

Oh hi! I’m guessing that if you read this far, you kind of figured out that this is LeSombre from LeSombre.ca. The .ca stands for Canadia, of course. Let me take this moment to thank Whall for letting me guest-post for real over here. If you ever visit my blog, you can expect things to be a lot less PG-13 than what you found here. This was really hard to write, and I think it made me a better person in the process.

Well, I can dream, can I?

One last thing: Thanks to all the bloggers who let me make fun of them in this post. If you’re wondering, I did contact every one of them to ask their permission, and I also had them okay the final post before publishing it. Yes, Canadians are THAT nice.

Special thanks to Shash from Crazedmommy for the use of Bazongas.

*Denotes Canadian spelling. Crazy UnitedStatsians with their made-up words.

It’s been said I’m a lucky man.

Usually, it’s me saying it.  And I fully recognize how lucky I am. You know, in life.

Examples? I’m getting to use the last of my rapidly-expiring frequent flier miles for a nice little vacation to Tahoe/Reno.  I have a great job that I love.   I have all my taste buds, and I don’t even know what hemorrhoids are.  I see these commercials for them, and corns, constipation, asthma, indigestion, “mommy I don’t feel very fresh” and all sorts of bodily mishaps and thank my lucky stars I cannot even comprehend what they’re talking about.

Want more proof?  A friend of mine used some of her hotel rewards to get me two free nights at a nice place in Reno!  SEE??!?!?!?  I know!

And that’s not all.  I have a Zune.  I have a blackberry.  I have a decent laptop for work (this makes ALL the difference in my enjoyment of life).  I don’t mention the family much on ye old blog of whall, but everyone who knows me personally how fantastically great they are.  I don’t watch CSI:Miami.  I have both of my legs, arms, eyes and brains.  I don’t have bad hygiene.  I can read *and* write.  My parents gave me everything I needed but not everything I wanted and for that I am most thankful.

I could go on and on about lucky things about me and the great position I’ve been placed in life.  But I won’t.  And you know why?  Because I’ve contracted bribed begged convinced six (6) blog friends to do it for me!

That’s right!  I’m off on my little vacation and the next week or so will be in the capable hands of the following guest posters:

Karl Erikson from secondhandkarl.com on Sun 5th

Robin/Hismuse from roadlessunraveled.com on Mon 6th

Marty Mankins from banalleakage.com on Tue 7th

Cissa from cissafireheart.com on Wed 8th

SheilaCSR from charm-school-reject.com on Thu 9th

LeSombre from lesombre.ca on Fri 10th

???? Who knows? Well, maybe I do. <sneaky grin> on Sat 11th

If you need more evidence of the luck I possess, I don’t know what to tell you.  I guess I’d say; wait until I get back from Tahoe/Reno with all my winnings.

THEN you’ll see.

I don’t get guest posts often… in fact, I just yesterday created the blog category for it because it’s so rare.  Wait, that’s not right.  Let me try again.  Ahem. [rethinks] Because it’s so rare, I’d not had the occasion to need a Guest Posting category before; recent events have caused it into existence.

Yes, much better.

So, where was I?  Oh yeah, guest posts and their lack of oftentude.

Not only is a Guest Post on the blog of whall less common than a Presidential Cabinet appointee actually paying their taxes, it is even MORE significant when the guest posts actually coincide on the same day.  I mean, what are the chances?!?!??

This is akin to two ships sailing past each other in the night, except the first ship is a ghost ship made out of buttered pancake mix run by a zombie crew with Pee Wee Herman’s hair stylist as captain and the second ship is OH MY GOSH THE SAME EXACT SHIP!!!!

The crux of the story is that I had scheduled yesterday’s Golf Widow guest post but had happened into LeSombre’s guest post.

And guest post he did.  His most excellent post confirmed my suspicions all along – Canadians are useful creatures.

He did a fantastic LOL Polar Bearz collection that frankly, deserves an artwork gallery opening.

Go check it out and comment and stuff.

And, because I love each and every one of you like you were my own kidney, I give you this: