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Hi, This is Wayne. This is my site, my stuff, my blog, blahblahblah. The site itself is powered by WordPress and the Scary Little theme. I thought it was cool, and I still do.

I’m wondering a few things today… if anyone will do a blog post today and NOT mention the election; if Obama can lose and NOT have rioting in the streets; if people can actually open up their minds and realize polls are evil concoctions of lies upon lies.

But as I sit and wonder, I submit to you a few important reminders about today and tomorrow.

ATTENTION DEMOCRATS

The Democratic National Committee has finally won their long-sought bid to segregate the vote.  The DNC believes that the only way to truly be accurate in vote counting is to have one party vote one day and the other party vote the second day.  That way, we only have to count bodies who show up, not actually tally any specific vote.  I applaud the effort towards accuracy.

As much as I hate to admit it, the Democrats are right on this issue: we should have separate days for voting.  I also admit that the Conservatively-biased right-wing media has hidden this landmark win by the DNC and I’m ashamed for it.  So I will be fair, “reach across the aisle,” so to speak, and remind all of the Democrats to vote tomorrow (Wednesday, November 5th).  Let the evil Republicans cast their vote today and then you’ll have all day tomorrow to cast.  Remember: if you vote today, your vote won’t count, so be sure to show up to the polling stations tomorrow.  

Don’t waste your vote!  Don’t just Vote FOR Tomorrow.  Vote tomorrow!

ATTENTION REPUBLICANS

With all the confused Democrats out there, expect the exit polls to be tilted.  Even Matt Drudge, arguably the most liberal reporter out there, admits that exit polls almost always tilt Democrat.  This may be for a number of reasons, one of which is that the democrat voter might have more time on their hands to sit around and take a poll.  Another might be that they’re better looking (most of Hollywood is Democrat; therefore, Democrats are statistically more beautiful), so the poll-takers gravitate to them in a zombie-like trance, stunned by their aesthetic awesomeness.

The key thing to remember, fellow Conservatives, is to NOT be swayed by the misleading poll numbers and reports.  YOU SHOULD KNOW that the main stream media will “call the election” way early. You know how Christmas is already here, and it’s just barely November? People like to get ahead of themselves.  

In normal fashion, CNN, ABC and NBC have already predicted Obama has won his second term in 2012.

ATTENTION REN

Friends, I have a friend named Ren that was my friend.  Let me tell you a story.

There once was a wise wizard named Gandalf.  (In this story, I’m Gandalf).

There was also a VERY WISE and mentor-like wizard named Saruman.  Saruman is the first in his order.  Many people look up to him for council and mentorship.  (In this story, Ren is Saruman).

Then there was Sauron, aka “Abhorred”.  Eru (“the One”, aka GOD) created Sauron.  Sauron is the most evil and will take over the world unless vanquished by a Fellowship.  (In this story, Obama is Sauron)


(image taken from splendoroftruth.com)

When I learned that Ren had been deceived by the Deceiver, I felt as Gandalf must have felt.  The *one* person in the entire who could formulate and articulate an argument to get me to open up and even THINK about any good Obama could do, actually went over to the other side!  Fortunately for me I see the Eye of Sauron firmly entrenched in Ren’s core and will fight to resist.

That, or I’ve been smoking too much of the halfling’s weed.

 

 

 

I’ve been thinking about all the crap I hear on TV, radio, on emails, blogs, comments, smoke signals, and scratched in braille on the ATM keypad.  There’s spin, spin, spin.  Everywhere.

Today my frustration peaked when some knucklehead on the radio (see the spin creeping in already?) say “You know that Joe the Plumber guy? Well it turns out, he’s not even a licensed plumber.”

*Sigh.*

(see that spin I just put in? Cool, eh?  I sighed electronically, and hopefully your opinion is swayed my way).

Now, I’m smart enough to pose the question internally… so what if he’s not licensed?  Are plumbers even licensed?  Is he supposed to be licensed?  I know that code varies from state to state, and even county to county for lots of occupations.  For example, electricians – do you happen to know if you have to be licensed to be a Journeyman in your area to touch live wires?  In some places, you don’t.

But.  Even.  More.  Imporantly.  What the heck does any attribute about the questioner have to do with the actual question?  And, therefore, the subsequent answer?   It seems to me that the whole “Joe The Plumber” story is: Joe asked a hard question, Obama let it slip that he wants to redistribute wealth, so now people are going to attack Joe and try to discredit him somehow, and by inference, make Obama’s answer inconsequential. 

One of the sound bites even claimed “Joe’s not even his name.”  The guy’s name is Samual Joseph Wurzelbacher and goes by his middle name.  Hmm, I do that.  My middle name is Wayne.  Maybe Obama is jealous since if HE went by his middle name, he’d be… oh never mind.

Here’s a test I just made up.  Take the following sentence, and examine how it makes you feel when you read it.

While [the husband] was at a meeting at the Waldorf-Astoria at 4 p.m. Wednesday, [name] called room service and ordered lobster hors d’oeuvres, two whole steamed lobsters, Iranian caviar and champagne.  For all we know, campaign funds paid for this entire elite meal.

So here’s the question: if the “name” listed was Cindy McCain, does it make your blood boil?  What if it was Laura Bush?  Are you mad?  What if it was Lynne Cheney?

My point here is that the name (aka “target”) shouldn’t color the substance of the story.  The story is the story.  If you listen to some news story and it makes you mad, swap the “target” of the story with the name of someone you like.  Does the story still seem as bad? 

How about this sentence:

[name] pushed for increasing CHIP funding (Childrens’ Health Insurance Plan) by at least five billion dollars, but partisan opponents delayed the funding, causing millions of children to risk living without insurance.

Are you thinking about what name might go in there?  Do you think it’s Clinton?  Obama?  Ted Kennedy? 

Nope, it’s George W. Bush.

What kind of bias frustrates you the most?

Sorry, all. I need to make an apology.

Yesterday I was all in a panic. Here’s how my brain works: because Nobody was following me on Twitter, I equated that with the world ending. How narcissistic is that??!??! I mean, who am I to think that the entire world’s existence depends on some part of MY life? Do I really expect the. entire. world. to. schedule itself based on what happens to me?

In short, yes. Yes I do.

BECAUSE LOOK AT THIS!

Heh-HA!  Now I’m confident the world will at least stay around until October 28th, 2011.

(thanx, person-who-knows-who-they-are)

And that’s not ALL the good news either.  Now, please don’t think I’m just bragging and stuff, but it looks like I’m… oh man, this is so exciting!  I’m poised to win… I CAN HARDLY CONTAIN MYSELF! it seems that I’m smack dab in line to ….

GUESS WHAT????

I’m going to WIN $100,000!!!!!

That’s right!  Just look at this – Predictify teamed up with Rock the Vote and made a new contest called the $100,000 Election Showdown!

All I gotta do is make 15 accurate predictions – the overall popular vote winner and the winner in 14 battleground states – and I win!

But the win is empty without you.  Specifically, I mean without your help.  See, I can’t get my money unless a lot of people make predictions.  They add $1 to the pot with every prediction (up to a hundred grand), so I need YOU to go there and donate your prediction to my winnings.

You might ask yourself – how do I know I’m going to win?  Well that’s an easy answer – because I’m the only one honest and brave enough to predict McCain winning all of those states!  AND the popular vote!  You might think I’m stupid for giving out my winning strategy but I know that no-one will copy me.  They’ll all start off copying me, and then they’ll say “eh, what are the chances he’ll will ALL of them – maybe he won’t win THIS one or THAT one” and then they’ll make their own customized vote combo.  Which leaves all the money to me!

Man.  Just THINK of the DITL’s I can make with $100,000…

Unlike the debate going on tonight, this one is easy.

Which of these pictures is more awesome?

Selection #1: Star Wars Awesome Poster

Selection #2: Dueling Light Saber Squirrels

I mean, they’re both awesome.  But I need to know which is more awesome.  Kind of like the Presidential debate – vitriol and bias aside, BOTH candidates are smart, capable leaders and possess a list of positives so long that you’d run out of breath dictating them all, but only one of them can win.  Such as it is with these pictures.

MAKE YOUR CHOICE!

Which Star Wars Picture is more awesome?

View Results

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I will honor last minute submissions, too.  Kind of like when Obama is going to drop Biden for Clinton in about 15-25 days (you heard it here FIRST!)

September
17
2008
3:45 pm
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In the early days, Obama seemed like a dream come true.  I watched him speak a couple of times during the early debates, and compared to Hillary, Dean, and so many other potential Democratic nominees, he was such a breath of fresh air!

Back in January, I posted a comparison of where the candidates stood in comparison to my personal position on the issues, and it showed that I was more in line with Bill Richardson and Hillary than Edwards, Obama, or any other democrat.

We donated $5 to the Obama campaign back then because I definitely felt that I’d rather Obama win than Hillary.  

Since that time, I’ve received the Obama campain emails.  I liked how positive they were – sending a message of change, talking about what’s important, and not doing much to overtly attack the “other guys”.

I set up a separate email address than my personal one – one that I’ve never used before for anything, nor given anyone – and all of a sudden I was subscribed to MoveOn.org.

This surprised me some.  But hey, all’s fair in love and war and politics, right?

Here is a sampling of the worst stuff I’ve received from MoveOn.org:

  • Yesterday was John McCain’s 72nd birthday. If elected, he’d be the oldest president ever inaugurated. And after months of slamming Barack Obama for “inexperience,” here’s who John McCain has chosen to be one heartbeat away from the presidency: a right-wing religious conservative with no foreign policy experience, who until recently was mayor of a town of 9,000 people. 
  • Did you watch Sarah Palin’s speech last night? The speech told us a lot about her. It told us that she can distort the facts and deliver mean-spirited zingers with the best of them. 
  • Here’s the situation: John McCain and Sarah Palin are repeatedly deceiving, manipulating, and flat-out lying. And polls are showing that some of those lies are convincing voters.
  • Angry at John McCain and Sarah Palin? Frustrated with the media? Fed up with the absurd direction this campaign has taken? Don’t sit and stew. Use that energy to put Obama over the top!
  • For weeks, John McCain has run one of the most dishonest campaigns in American history.
  • Looking for a way to make sure the McCain-Palin sleaze-o-rama doesn’t derail Barack Obama’s historic candidacy?

The emails from Obama, ingeneral, were much more upbeat and positive, but it still had stuff that just didn’t read right for me:

  • I saw John McCain’s attack squad of negative, cynical politicians. They lied about Barack Obama and Joe Biden, and they attacked you for being a part of this campaign. But worst of all — and this deserves to be noted — they insulted the very idea that ordinary people have a role to play in our political process.
  • Why would the Republicans spend a whole night of their convention attacking ordinary people? With the nation watching, the Republicans mocked, dismissed, and actually laughed out loud at Americans who engage in community service and organizing.

Then yesterday, an email from Obama asked what *I* thought.  It invited me to participate in an online survey.  So I participated.

Some of the questions really made me think – because you know surveys… just based on how you ask the question, you can make anything sound like anything.  So I paid attention to how the questions were asked and the possible answers they gave – and gave special thought to whether or not the questions themselves were “fair.”

Personally, I don’t like that they combined “Economy” and “Taxes.”  To me, they are completely separate issues – sure, one affects the other, but “Health Care” affects “Taxes” as well but they didn’t combine them.  Another minor nitpic is the obfuscation of “LGBT Issues”.  I wonder if they had spelled out “Lesbian, Gay, Bi-Sexual and Transgender”, would they get the same answers?

Probably the biggest problem with this question, though, is that it lumps “support” and “opposition” together in the same answer.  For example, if they find out that, hypothetically, 70% of the people who took the survey clicked on”Economy & Taxes”, what will they report about it?  I’m worried that the results will somehow spin it to be that 70% of the people agree with Obama’s stance and that’s not what the survey is asking.  The survey just asks what issues are of most concern.

The next question also seemed a little unfair:

I don’t know about you, but the word “Progressive” sitting there next to Liberal makes you feel like a dork to click anything BUT Liberal.  Sure, maybe “progressive” is a term that’s been used by some to indicate political leanings, but even as someone who does watch a fair bit of news (and NOT JUST FOX), I don’t hear “liberal/progressive” put together.  I mean, I listed to “progressive rock” but it ain’t liberal!

The other potentially misleading question was this one:

They have three answers that indicate strength, and one absense of strength.  Even “not strong” can indicate support in general, just not strong support.  I mean, come on!  They’re not giving anyone a chance to say they don’t support Obama.  With a question like this, the survey can legitimately say “100% of responders indicated support for Obama’s campaign.”

I was hoping that the folks that run the Obama campaign would bring “change” to the survey and poll process too – I want more accurate, more honest portrayals.  I want less corruption.  I don’t want pork barrel-spending, I want lower taxes, I want everyone to be happy, and I want to give to others.

Why can’t I get what I want?

I’m sorry I had to keep it a secret from all my friends, family and readers.  But you know how these things go – word gets out, and complete pandemonium breaks out.  We didn’t want to give our opponents any extra time.  And I’m sure you’ll agree, this is a complete surprise!  At least, I bet you didn’t see it coming.  (note: the announcement of Sarah Palin as VP pick is just a ruse to throw off the Obama campaign.)

It gives me great pleasure to announce that John McCain has picked ME to be his Vice Presidential Running Mate!

That’s right!  ME!  Wayne!  aka whall.  The Whallster.  Whallify.  Creator of WHALLcats.  Proud father of a fourth-generation middle-name-Wayne member of the Hall family.  Decorated non-wartime military hero bandsman.  Unifying force for Unix, Windows *and* Mac use in business and at home.  Conspiracy Theorist Esquire.  Hot Blogger Calendar Nominee.

One of the first things John and I sat down to discuss was our brand.  We all know that without a good brand, there’s no success.  Dell is a leader in the computer idustry because it’s a short name.  Same with IBM and HP.  Think about it – who would vote for “Stephanopolous-Garfinkel”?  The advertising budget alone would sink a compaign faster than tacking “Edwards” to the end of a ticket.

We settled on a single word – McWayne – instead of the typical lastname+lastname.  It rolls off the tongue much better than “Obama-Biden,” don’t you think?  Say to yourself – “Vote McWayne“.  It’s incredibly efficient!

john mccain and whall is mcwayne 2008

We didn’t want to be known as McCain-Hall or McCain-Wayne, although the rhyming words probably would help us in the polls.  We also toyed with using “John Wayne” as our mascot and name because John Wayne is clearly an icon of strength, integrity, rugged individualism and pure Americana.  However, we thought there were too many pot-shots that the pundits could easily take, such as “we’re going to put an actor in the White House???!?” 

We all know the urgent issues facing America today.  And that’s why we need a leader, not a messiah.  We don’t need “change we can believe in.”  We don’t need “hope.”  Try putting change or hope into your bank account and see what that gets you.  But think for a moment of the promise that LOLcats bring you.  Yeah, you’re feeling it now, aren’t you? 

That’s right!  And we want your vote.  We have a few buttons you can add to your blog.

mccain wayne mcwayne we can haz whitehouse

We hope to usher in a new era, where voters turn out in droves to submit their own captions to nominees.  We will make a fully automated system where you can take any picture of any candidate, and create a clever set of words and phrases and have them presented for Internet voting.

I see they’re already starting to pour in.  Here’s a recent submission for your perusal:

obama biden campaign poster kool aid koolaid we haz it lolcats

 

March
4
2008
10:01 am
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Well, those of you in Texas, Ohio, Rhode Island and Vermont… you can vote.  It’s been a long time since a Texan’s vote counted, and we have so much crossover voting and assumptions going on, it’s hard to make heads or tails of it.

texas counties

Polls say one thing and reality is often another.  Why do we even allow polls anyway?  Or better put, why do people believe or trust polls?  They’re wrong so often.  There’s that Zogby poll that showed Obama ahead of Hillary by as much as 13 percentage points and then lost by 10 percentage points.  There’s the other one that showed the two neck and neck but Obama won handily.

Stop trusting polls!

And then there are the things that don’t get into the mainstream news.  Some of it has no place, granted, but I’ve collected some stories I’ve learned over the last couple of weeks here for your review as you consider who to vote for.

  • McCain is very old.
    Ok, maybe you’ve heard that already.  Reagan was older when he started his second term, but still, McCain is pretty old.  But as Reagan said he wouldn’t hold Mondale’s youth and inexperience against him back in 1984, maybe McCain should play the same cards.  With both Hillary *and* Obama, because you can say “35 years of experience” all you want, but Hillary is just not presidential with her experience.  I will say that Obama’s lack of baggage is something I can support.  I’m not for life-long politicians in general.  Our founding fathers were business owners first and politicians begrudgingly.
  • One of Hillary’s biggest financial supporters is Wal*Mart
    I don’t care one way or another.  But Hillary supporters who hate Wal*Mart might want to know this.  Even though she “returned $5,000 contribution” last year.
  • Obama’s middle name is Hussein
    But who gives a flying pancake?  And who cares if he was in a turban? There are some who think he might be the antichrist and closely portrays the AC depicted in the Left Behind series.  But I’d lend more credence to the thought of “fear-mongering” if people are trying to get his middle name mentioned at any cost.  Some of the claims are downright creative and insane “Barack = Iraq, Hussein = Saddam Hussein, Obama = Osama” and the adding up of his name = 666 (so does Reagan’s).  I will say this though: his ties with Louis Farrakhan and his ability to totally entrance people with his speech with very little substance behind it does scare me, antichrist-like or not.  I also don’t like his association with Dorothy Tillman and the thought of a potential lawsuit against US for “slavery reparations” paid to African Americans, just because they’re African Americans.  Sure, Obama was against these reparations before elected to Senate, but has since changed his mind.
  • If you attack “big oil”, you attack yourself and other middle class Americans
    A friend sent me a link to this article by Ben Stein and even I didn’t know this stuff.  Essentially, Hillary keeps attacking “big oil” and the $40b or whatever profits Exxon Mobil made, but 99% of those profits go into pension funds, money markets, and stock portfolios of average Americans, NOT billionnaires sitting in the back counting their money. So if Hillary wants to go in and take their profits like she’s alluding to, she’s really stabbing hard-working americans in the back pocketbook.  If you have a 401K or IRA or any kind of savings plan, you might want to look to see how “big oil” has prevented your savings from going to nothing.
  • Don’t be fooled by Democrats wanting to “stick it to the rich”
    As mentioned in a post last week, seven of the eight richest CEO’s have 100% of their political donations going to the Democrats.   I believe that both Hillary and Obama will actually be sticking it to the middle class by way of taxing us into bankruptcy.  McCain isn’t any better here, either.
  • Can the economy afford more entitlements?
    I wish I had more time to research this and really understand the numbers.  I know it might sound backwards, but I don’t think that a hard economy means more handouts.  I think a tough economy means those who are working need to keep more of their paychecks.  By doing that, the hard-working Americans can afford to buy more, spend more and stimulate the economy.  By taxing the hard-working American an increased amount (which McCain, Obama and Hillary are all likely to do), you limit what they can spend and instead someone is promising to send it to someone else, but in the form of entitlement.  Entitlement doesn’t help the economy because it just takes from person A and gives to person B.  If the money is in person A’s wallet, it can go with person A to the grocery store or the hardware store or the furniture store, pay for goods and services, and then create a job for person B.
  • Tons of people are cross-voting
    At least, they’re calling into the radio stations and saying they did so.  Lots of Republicans have now voted Democratic in the primary and put their vote in for Hillary because they think McCain can beat her easily.  As I mentioned last week, this was up for debate but the idea of it left me feeling icky.  So while I didn’t do this, I know tons of people are.  I’m planning on going to the Republican Caucas tonight.

Anyway, happy voting!


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