Yesterday on the way home my daughter and I saw car with a customized Dallas Cowboy license plate with the phrase

WWJJD

Since I’m not a big Cowboys fan, it took me a while to realize what the extra “J” was doing in there.  Haha, clever.

But then I remembered something I heard in one of the videos I had posted earlier about innovation, and something the speaker said stuck in my head then, and that was WWCD.  WWCD stood for What Would Croeses (cresus) do?  Croeses was famous for his wealth.  In today’s terms, you might think Bill Gates, George Sorros or Donald Trump.  When posed with an intriguing problem, one way to generate ideas on how to solve the problem would think – What would someone with near unlimited resources do to solve the problem?  By going down that road, the act brainstorming can pick up tons of fodder that can be sorted out later on.

It didn’t take me long to turn the focus to where it belonged – on me, naturally – so I asked myself “how could I brand WWWD?”  What Would Wayne Do?  But then I figured – who cares about what *I’d* do? 

What people REALLY want to know is… what do I want?  The important thing is for what THEY can do for ME.

So now I bring you, WWWW – What Would Wayne Want?  A new series on ye olde blog of whall where you can stay in-the-know of things I want so you may do your duty to Whall and to country.

In the first installment, I want you to go wish Miss Britt a happy birthday.  She turned 30 this past week, and a select few of us took the time and submitted happy birthday videos and photos, and some random guy on the Internet went and made a video of it all.  And I made the cut!!!

PS: I think that guy should be strung up.  I mean, he made her cry.  CRY!  As if there isn’t enough pain in this world, he goes and makes the tears fall.  Horrible, horrible man.

First of all, whoa.

WHOA.

Did you guys love all these guest posts as much as I did? I’ve half a mind to stop blogging myself and just get 20-30 people to commit to one guest post per month and just have them write for me.

Who’s with me!!!!!??

The side benefit to this master scheme is that, as you probably have noticed yourself, these bloggers end up writing BETTER material when they guest post than the stuff they normally put on their own blogs.

What? Isn’t this a reverse roast?

As LeSombre would say, Quel Frommage.

Let’s recap a little.

First, Dave2 from Blogography teed things off by actually making a BAD WAYNKEY!  He cleverly embedded it into a intolerance-based liberally biased anti-establishment fascist piece of propaganda disguised as a comic, and for that, I’m eternally grateful.  He even published an extended Behind The Scenes edition, only this time, with less New Kids On The Block shrines.

Then BlondeBlogger came by and deposited into the bank of whall a series of 10 questions and the readers were to pick which 5 were true.  The winner, Ren, supposedly gets “have a date with Whall at the LOLCat headquarters.”  I’ll pre-emptively accept his withdrawal from the contest.  I got another true statement: BB is hot.  Just look!

After BB came Hilly, aka snackiepoo.  She was able to conform to the strict Puritan values my blog espouses (yeah, right [bleepitybleeper!]) and bring on the Weird Science for us all.  She also pointed out all of our differences.  Thanx for that (WTF Hilly, you ride donkeys?!?!?).  But she did point out our commonalities- I do love the 80′s, I do have a great heart, and I LOVE TWEETING AND BLOGGING.

Then it got all serious-like.  Miss Britt infected my blog with Obamfluenza H1N1.  I had to go into quarantine and everything!  Usually, any given type of flu has an incubation period anywhere from 72 hours to 7 days, but evidently if one drinks the kool-aid fast enough, he or she can be overcome within minutes, afflicted with such symptoms as incredulous mysterious adulation towards public figures, radical socialist views, and a shrieking voice when debating (or so I’ve heard).  After watching 15+ minutes of Funny Obama, even *I* started experiencing my own symptoms of tolerance, acceptance and open-mindedness.  Fortunately for me I was able to purchase a new copy of Atlas Shrugged while on vacation, which is a common antidote for apathy-inducing liberalism.  WHEW!

And then?  YES!  YESSSSSSSS!  OMG YES!  No, I’m not having an episode. I’m still reeling from the awesome YES-laden guest post from Mr Shiny.  Here’s what I don’t get about Shiny – he’s undoubtedly one of the top 3 funniest, wittiest, smartest bloggers I’ve ever had the pleasure to read.  He’s absolutely brilliant.  I mean, there are bloggers out there I enjoy to read, but Shiny’s posts make me laugh out loud.  But he hardly gets any comments!  Even his guest post for me had the fewest comments out of all the guest posters.  I just don’t understand that.  It’s almost as if his posts are so good people find themselves unworthy to comment.   His LOLyes pictures were awesome, especially for huge YES fans such as myself.   And Shiny? I’d love to hear the Leave It track… I’m thinking of doing one too so maybe we can team up on that idea sometime.

Ren from Renagerie.com followed up the Amazing Mr Shiny with a clever new take on LOLcats, my blog and made something unique – WHALL-anti-cats.  He took photos he had of me over our 10yr friendship and captioned them with actual blog post titles from my blog.  And WOW.  He did nineteen (19) lolcaptionblogtitlethingies!  I think my favorite in the series is “an’ you’ll be poppin, lickin and breakin in no time…“  And yes, it’s all about the dorkiness of Wayne.

*content sigh*.  Then Poppy came to my blog and made it aww bettaw.  It wuz so pwehshush!  She whalljacked my blog and made an eccentric vlog with one of the sexiest coolest overdub narration voices you’ll ever hear.  And I think some rap.  And something about “Dirty Wayne” which is almost as nice sounding as I expect “Naughty Wayne” would sound like.  Thank you Poppy.  Thank you for the YES tie-in, the voiceover and the awesomeness you gave my blog.  And something about a lollipop in it or something.

What guest post whallstravaganza would be complete without a fatwha?  Faiqa from Native Born, aka Supreme Magistrate of All Things Wise, Prudent and Being Generally Better Than Everyone Else Without Even Trying of the NBLA, unleashed the NBLA’s demands on the world when they actually DID whalljack me with normal and just atypically terroristic and extremist demands.  I’m so glad they did. You will pay for your insolence.  I have seen the error of my ways.  Chuck Norris is gonna go all up in your face and roundhouse kick every turban off every extremist muslim head.  I’ve corrected my behavior and even built a time machine, went back in time, and put in TWO votes for Barack Obama just to make sure.  With just one roundhouse kick. I’m so glad my eyes have been opened. Blindfolded.  Please forgive me for my past.  And then LOLcaption it.  Sincerely, Marmontiansese Nbyuti Barack Hussein Obama (tongue click) W. Hall whall.  PS: May I express my fondness for your aesthetic qualities? My lord, you’re hot.

The final instwhallment of the guest post gala was performed by Mr Avitable.  From Avitable.com.  His last name is Avitable.  He doesn’t like it pronounced Avitable, he prefers it Avitable.  It can be a littable difficult to fittable the right syllables befittable such an iminitable Avitable, but it’ll make the fiddle knittable, said the quittable riddle in the middle.  I think I need to make this whole thing DITLable.  Now does everyone know how to pronounce Avitable?  Good. Now to his blog post.  He copied Faiqa.  End of story.  NEXT!

All in all, I think it was a quality showing.  I don’t know about you, but I’m already looking forward to my next vacation!

PS: Who was your favorite? I’ve been looking to start up some drama around here to drive up traffic, so which one did you hate and which on pwned the others?

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PS#2: The “Part V” in the title is a little secret.  Can anyone guess what it’s in reference to?

This blog is pretty much perfect.

It’s funny and smart and free of the vulgarity that you’ll see at lesser blogs.

There are few things I could think of that I could say or do that would add to the awesomeness that is Whall.Org.  I had to dig deep to find anything lacking, a need that has yet to be met by Wayne.

And then I found it…

The readers of Whall.Org are begging for MORE OBAMA!

Now, to be fair, I’m sure Wayne would have answered your cries for MORE OBAMA – but he’s on vacation.  So I, as his friend and fellow blogger, have taken it upon myself to answer your cries and fill the void.

Dear Whall readers, I give you funny and smart and free of vulgarity – and MORE OBAMA:

Heck, I’ll even give you TWO PARTS:

You’re welcome.