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Hi, This is Wayne. This is my site, my stuff, my blog, blahblahblah. The site itself is powered by WordPress and the Scary Little theme. I thought it was cool, and I still do.

9:41 am
Post Meta :

I sold a few things on eBay recently and was just plain AMAZED at the ebay/paypal/ups/usps partnerships that have grown over the past years.  I’m new to this “online postage” thing and “back in my day” (hehe) when we sold something online, gosh-darned-it we had to box it up and go to the post office and stand in line.

<Potter voice ON> And we didn’t even have a fancy computer drawing program to paint us a picture! <Potter voice OFF>

This time, however, I just accepted my paypal payment and from there saw the “print shipping label” link and figured, what the hey.  5 minutes later I was able to print a shipping label for USPS for $2.20, boxed up the item and could just stick the sucker in my mailbox at home.

That was convenience in a cup.

The second item I did?  Same deal, but even faster because now I knew what I was doing.  

Call me Shipmael.

Then I needed to ship a box NOT related to an auction, Paypal, or anything online.  Jaden (our 6yr old son) received a pair of Heely’s skate shoes for Christmas and was hella excited about them.  

And why wouldn’t he be?  I can’t recall how many times I dreamed of going through school halls or down the street with shoes that had wheels in them.  I knew I’d invent it when I got older and make a million dollars.  


Anyway, problem is, they’re a size too small.  So I go to the retailer’s website, and lo-and-behold, they have a great return policy for wrong size.  You just ship them the shoes with a note, and they’ll ship a replacement pair FREE.  They’ll do this only once, but that’s more than fair.  Did I mention they’ll ship us the replacement pair for free?

I box up the shoes and weigh the box – comes in at 3.8 lbs.  I go over to my trusty paypal account thinking I could just whip me up a neat shipping label and…. 

nope.  Paypal won’t do a shipping label unless it’s specific to a transaction.

Oh well.  So I go to USPS.GOV thinking I can just print me up another one of those fancy labels.  And sure enough, I can.

But only for PRIORITY MAIL.

What kind of crap is that?  For one, why is it more than eight bucks to ship a 3 lb box, even if it is just Parcel Post?

UPS Ground was about the same price, but I expected UPS to cost more – they’d get it there in 4 days vs 6 days.  Another issue is that I remember seeing a sign at the post office that said something like “packages over 13 ounces cannot have stamps on them” or some such, so it’s not like I was comfortable buying $8.62 of online postage and taping it to the box either.

A driving force in play here is that Jaden is without his Christmas present until the Heely’s can get to NY and back.  So the 4-day delta is a big factor, especially since I’m the one who picked out the original size and messed everything up in the first place.  Guilt creeps in, makes a bed in my soul and promptly starts snoring.

So I go with the $12.14 2-day Priority Mail option.

While I wait, I peruse the “features and benefits” of this shoe.  No-lie, these are ACTUAL PRODUCT QUOTES FROM THE SHOE.

  • Slice through the skate park – ninja style. 
    um, you have to be a pretty imaginative person to equate a 6yr old learning how to skate on just one wheel per foot, flailing about through the park, hugging on every stranger, pet or porta-potty they can get their hands on to not fall down… with a ninja.  Especially a slicing ninja.  
  • Synthetic suede and perforated leather upper with text-filled graphic. 
    mmmm, sythetic suede!  And what’s that you say?  The graphic is, hold me down from the excitement… TEXT-FILLED??!!?!! OMG!  I didn’t know graphics could be filled with text!
  • Padded tongue and collar add extra comfort and support. 
    I wish all the asylums had that.
  • Soft textile lining. 
    Hmm.  a lining made of textile.  You might as well say “this shoe is very shoe-like.” 
  • PU midsole. 
    So does this mean the feet come pre-filled with stink? 
  • Textured EVA outsole. 
    Best. Outsole texture. EVA. 
  • MEGA graffiti wheel. 
    Not just a graffiti wheel, but a MEGA graffiti wheel.
  • ABEC 5 608 bearings. 
    I have no idea what this means. 
11:51 am
Post Meta :

… give a little biiiiiiiit… of your time… to me….

Supertramp is so totally awesome.

supertramp breakfast in america

Bossy is not a super tramp.


Although I’m sure if she were to put her mind to it, she COULD be a tramp, and if so, she’d probably be super at it.

But I digress. 

I want Bossy to come see me on her Excellent Road Trip.  And it looks like the way YOU can help make that happen is to visit her site and donate $3.  Give her some gas money or a kidney she can sell or something.  It’s easy to use Paypal to send a few bucks and for just one day, don’t give to Fred the one-legged homeless guy on Broad Street.  Or maybe you can decide to NOT sponsor Fyrourllldidkacalimaki in Africa for a single day.  They say “pennies a day” but come on, would they miss one day?  I bet they go without whatever algae or dirt they eat all the time.  Heck, they might even be tired of the crap you’re sending them.  Do us all a favor – donate to Bossy’s Excellent Road Trip.

Some people are visually-oriented.  Perhaps the following graphic will help you understand what to do.

donate or else

If you respond better to audio, then check out a sound file of when I went over to Europe and picked a random person on the street to see what they thought of this whole deal

I’m in Texas.  Bossy is not.  But we could see Bossy in Texas (possibly, if she ignores Tornadophobia) if I pimp her out on my blog and help create a large influx of paypalitude in her paypalbox.  You could help me paypalify her paypaleface so that she paypaltruistically pays a pal a visit to paypAl Gore on her way to paypaluicious with her paypalbatross and paypalbacore tuna sandwiches and paypalcohol for the paypalpicnic we’d have on paypAlderaan (ask paypalprincess paypalLeia).  Please stay clear of paypAlQaeda, and paypalgae.  It would take a paypalchemist paypalmost paypall day to make paypaluminum out of paypalan alda. (I sincerely apaypalogize for this paypalpha display of paypalmetto leaves)

I know I’m not the bossy of you.  But can’t we pretend I am – for the five minutes it would take you to donate $3?

Note: I have no problem with any of you deciding to brag about donating to bossy in the comments.

tsk tsk

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