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Welcome to The blog of whall

Come on in and stay a while… laugh a little. Maybe even think. Read more...

Hi, This is Wayne. This is my site, my stuff, my blog, blahblahblah. The site itself is powered by WordPress and the Scary Little theme. I thought it was cool, and I still do.

Fortunately for me, my family, my employer and teh interwebs, Ren and I did NOT wake up to the realization that we could not recall the previous #VegasBB weekend and have to retrace our steps to find Adam.

whangover-title3

Of course, if my Photoshopping skillz were better, the above movie poster would have been modified with our faces.  As such, I am entrusting you, dear reader, to use your fantastic imagination and help me out.  I want you to envision a perfectly inserted crop of Adam’s face for the bearded guy holding the baby (cringe if you must), Ren as the guy in the back, and put in me with my missing tooth holding some ice.  While you’re at it, also visualize that I expertly removed the extraneous “the” from inside the letter O.

See, if I was better at Photoshop (or gimp in my case), then I could’ve done all those changes in the time it took for me to describe the changes to you.

If you’re really good at this whole creativity exercise, go ahead and put in Poppy‘s face for the baby in the picture.

Why?

Well, if you MUST know, she’s the winner from my last post!  I went through and counted twelve (12) valid entries for people wishing us luck on our trip, then put those names in a list in excel numbered 1-12, and used random.org’s widget on the front page to determine a winner (#4).

See how her face would be perfect for that cover?

poppy-rejoice

As for #VegasBB, we had a great time.  I met some fun folks and widened my blogging horizons a little. 

Many super sets of immense thanktitude to the hosts and all the people who helped put it on – Erin (@Queenofspain) & Megan (@undomesticdiva) in particular.  The drinks never ran dry, the @Vdog snorts never stopped, the laughter never died down and most importantly, the blackmail video never stopped rolling. 

Oh yes, I’m pretty sure I’ll be able to retire on the digitial arsenal I captured. 

Let the bidding begin.

Everyone and their brother posted TequilaCon pics back in whatevermonththatshindigwas.  I still haven’t.  Some people even posted videos of me with a hot blonde that isn’t my wife.  Also, about the only photos of me on facebook are the ones from TC09, including one of me looking like I’m grabbing the Poppy in some sort of possessive freak-out episode.

I really should upload more photos to facebook.  And everyone knows you don’t touch the Poppy.

My DITL creation phase is on a break, but I should mention that I captured a decent amount of video for a TITLE (Tequilacon In The Life, Excellent) and a RITL (Roadtrip In The Life), but I have not made the time to do those the justice they deserve.  I still plan on it, but for now you can have some of my photo collection. 

Perhaps these would be better in something like a flickr album, or maybe a facebook thingy, but for now, they are whall.organisms.

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Which one is geeky? BOTH! HA!

 

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SagittariusBoy and LibraGirl

 

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Bellaventa, OhSarahJoy and Libragirl. and drinks.

 

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Hey look! It's that guy. and that girl. I think.

 

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Pink, the adobe.

 

Some sort of neat thing I took a picture of

 

This was neat. Neat neat neat

 

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Interestingly, this interesting thing was next to that other one

 

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You might think this is a shot of an silver ornate bench, but really it's just a zoomed out photo of Ren. I'm not that good at photography.

First of all, whoa.

WHOA.

Did you guys love all these guest posts as much as I did? I’ve half a mind to stop blogging myself and just get 20-30 people to commit to one guest post per month and just have them write for me.

Who’s with me!!!!!??

The side benefit to this master scheme is that, as you probably have noticed yourself, these bloggers end up writing BETTER material when they guest post than the stuff they normally put on their own blogs.

What? Isn’t this a reverse roast?

As LeSombre would say, Quel Frommage.

Let’s recap a little.

First, Dave2 from Blogography teed things off by actually making a BAD WAYNKEY!  He cleverly embedded it into a intolerance-based liberally biased anti-establishment fascist piece of propaganda disguised as a comic, and for that, I’m eternally grateful.  He even published an extended Behind The Scenes edition, only this time, with less New Kids On The Block shrines.

Then BlondeBlogger came by and deposited into the bank of whall a series of 10 questions and the readers were to pick which 5 were true.  The winner, Ren, supposedly gets “have a date with Whall at the LOLCat headquarters.”  I’ll pre-emptively accept his withdrawal from the contest.  I got another true statement: BB is hot.  Just look!

After BB came Hilly, aka snackiepoo.  She was able to conform to the strict Puritan values my blog espouses (yeah, right [bleepitybleeper!]) and bring on the Weird Science for us all.  She also pointed out all of our differences.  Thanx for that (WTF Hilly, you ride donkeys?!?!?).  But she did point out our commonalities- I do love the 80’s, I do have a great heart, and I LOVE TWEETING AND BLOGGING.

Then it got all serious-like.  Miss Britt infected my blog with Obamfluenza H1N1.  I had to go into quarantine and everything!  Usually, any given type of flu has an incubation period anywhere from 72 hours to 7 days, but evidently if one drinks the kool-aid fast enough, he or she can be overcome within minutes, afflicted with such symptoms as incredulous mysterious adulation towards public figures, radical socialist views, and a shrieking voice when debating (or so I’ve heard).  After watching 15+ minutes of Funny Obama, even *I* started experiencing my own symptoms of tolerance, acceptance and open-mindedness.  Fortunately for me I was able to purchase a new copy of Atlas Shrugged while on vacation, which is a common antidote for apathy-inducing liberalism.  WHEW!

And then?  YES!  YESSSSSSSS!  OMG YES!  No, I’m not having an episode. I’m still reeling from the awesome YES-laden guest post from Mr Shiny.  Here’s what I don’t get about Shiny – he’s undoubtedly one of the top 3 funniest, wittiest, smartest bloggers I’ve ever had the pleasure to read.  He’s absolutely brilliant.  I mean, there are bloggers out there I enjoy to read, but Shiny’s posts make me laugh out loud.  But he hardly gets any comments!  Even his guest post for me had the fewest comments out of all the guest posters.  I just don’t understand that.  It’s almost as if his posts are so good people find themselves unworthy to comment.   His LOLyes pictures were awesome, especially for huge YES fans such as myself.   And Shiny? I’d love to hear the Leave It track… I’m thinking of doing one too so maybe we can team up on that idea sometime.

Ren from Renagerie.com followed up the Amazing Mr Shiny with a clever new take on LOLcats, my blog and made something unique – WHALL-anti-cats.  He took photos he had of me over our 10yr friendship and captioned them with actual blog post titles from my blog.  And WOW.  He did nineteen (19) lolcaptionblogtitlethingies!  I think my favorite in the series is “an’ you’ll be poppin, lickin and breakin in no time…”  And yes, it’s all about the dorkiness of Wayne.

*content sigh*.  Then Poppy came to my blog and made it aww bettaw.  It wuz so pwehshush!  She whalljacked my blog and made an eccentric vlog with one of the sexiest coolest overdub narration voices you’ll ever hear.  And I think some rap.  And something about “Dirty Wayne” which is almost as nice sounding as I expect “Naughty Wayne” would sound like.  Thank you Poppy.  Thank you for the YES tie-in, the voiceover and the awesomeness you gave my blog.  And something about a lollipop in it or something.

What guest post whallstravaganza would be complete without a fatwha?  Faiqa from Native Born, aka Supreme Magistrate of All Things Wise, Prudent and Being Generally Better Than Everyone Else Without Even Trying of the NBLA, unleashed the NBLA’s demands on the world when they actually DID whalljack me with normal and just atypically terroristic and extremist demands.  I’m so glad they did. You will pay for your insolence.  I have seen the error of my ways.  Chuck Norris is gonna go all up in your face and roundhouse kick every turban off every extremist muslim head.  I’ve corrected my behavior and even built a time machine, went back in time, and put in TWO votes for Barack Obama just to make sure.  With just one roundhouse kick. I’m so glad my eyes have been opened. Blindfolded.  Please forgive me for my past.  And then LOLcaption it.  Sincerely, Marmontiansese Nbyuti Barack Hussein Obama (tongue click) W. Hall whall.  PS: May I express my fondness for your aesthetic qualities? My lord, you’re hot.

The final instwhallment of the guest post gala was performed by Mr Avitable.  From Avitable.com.  His last name is Avitable.  He doesn’t like it pronounced Avitable, he prefers it Avitable.  It can be a littable difficult to fittable the right syllables befittable such an iminitable Avitable, but it’ll make the fiddle knittable, said the quittable riddle in the middle.  I think I need to make this whole thing DITLable.  Now does everyone know how to pronounce Avitable?  Good. Now to his blog post.  He copied Faiqa.  End of story.  NEXT!

All in all, I think it was a quality showing.  I don’t know about you, but I’m already looking forward to my next vacation!

PS: Who was your favorite? I’ve been looking to start up some drama around here to drive up traffic, so which one did you hate and which on pwned the others?

Which guest posts were your favorites

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PS#2: The “Part V” in the title is a little secret.  Can anyone guess what it’s in reference to?

Ren and I made it into Santa Fe, NM yesterday for the TequilaCon 2009 and BeerHer “blogger conferences” aka “excuses for people who’ve never met to actually meet and drink while we’re at it.”  He’s doing more of the “trip report” thing over at his blog (Day 1 and Day 2), so check it out if interested.  Shoot, check it out even if you’re NOT interested because hey, he has pictures of me over there!

Also, since I’m not a cool kid with an iPhone or camera-enabled Blackberry, you might want to make sure you follow Ren on twitter.  He can live-twitpic on demand.

Pre-BeerHer was a blast as we met up with early arrivals Geeky Tai-Tai, Bellaventa, Karl and LibraGirl for a quick snack, some social lubrication and*ahem* colorful discourse.

Image Courtesy Renagerie

As you can see, all the guyfolk were making fun of my arm-reaching avatar.  All the womenfolk were just sitting there being hot.

Ren and I left that group after a couple hours and I waited  in the hotel for what felt like hours while Ren did a bunch of stuff on the computer, making us potentially late for our meeting, and I got all anxious and stuff.

We finally were able to leave.  Ren navigated while I drove (a good combination).  The unofficial BeerHer Pre-TequilaCon meet-up officially started with the two of us being the first to arrive at the Santa Fe Brewing Company, all alone in our lonesome loneliness, smothered in a blanket of solitude.  We scoped the place out a little and waited for the rest to show up.  Yes, you may now laugh at my aforementioned anxiety about tardiness.

Here’s basically what happened:

I met Dawg and laughed at his shirt.

ECNALUBMA A TON MA I

Isn’t that shirt hilarious?!?!?!?  It cracked me up something fierce.  And it’s so true.   I shook his hand (paw?), said hello and then soon thereafter Ren took over and talked cameras and photo shutter speeds and exposurifics and lens capitals and flashonomics or something I caught a few glimpses of Dawg throughout the evening before he left.

Then I met TEH POPPY and got a great hug.

All I got to say about that is… it’s about time we met.  I was so looking forward to her smile, and laugh and funness, not to mention she’s smart and geeky.  Meeting her is truly one of the highlights I was looking forward to this whole trip.  Then Ren monopolized teh Poppy the rest of the evening by talking, you guessed it, camera stuff and this and that and features and facial recognizance and aperture focal planetariums and spot meets and what his focal length was and then she said goodbye.

Serving as the late-yet-incredibly-heralded arrivals, Marty Mankins and his lovely wife Reba showed up.

Although Marty and I differ on a few political beliefs, we have an online kinship that has grown over the last year, with video tributes, a shared love for music, and a mutual respect for each others’ technical prowess.  I was looking forward to chatting it up with him until Ren devoured their attention and cornered the market on MY friends while they immersed themselves in the one person at the meet-up I DIDN’T need to talk to and learn about, forcing me to wallow in the corner curled up in a fetal ball while I talked to my camera and consoled it telling it everything will be better tomorrow.  But then they left.

I also met the youngun of the group, ohsarahjoy.

L-R: Bellaventa, OhSarahJoy, LibraGirl

L-R: Bellaventa, OhSarahJoy, LibraGirl

If there’s any cause in the world colossal enough to be worthy of an event like “BeerHer”, this has to be it – a soon-to-be-22-year-old drinking her very first beer, surrounded by people she’s never met in a city far away from home.

All-in-all, it was a good start to the vacation and I can’t wait for Ren to overpower my inconsequential presence at tonight’s blogger meet-up!

We have the most risque VLOG from Wayne yet.   Don’t believe me?  Just watch.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you though.

wayne's 3-minute ditl day in the life

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