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Hi, This is Wayne. This is my site, my stuff, my blog, blahblahblah. The site itself is powered by WordPress and the Scary Little theme. I thought it was cool, and I still do.

As some of you know, Ren and I embark on Ren & Wayne Road Trip 2.0 today


We both have our birthdays this month, and why not celebrate by going to Vegas?  As I mentioned before, it seems a lot of other people have the same idea.   Our first road trip was TequilaCon 2009, where we actually did a ROAD trip (as in, we drove).  This time, we’re taking a flight.  And, I just realized, we’re not renting a car there.  So actually we’ll have very little going on in terms of roads but I don’t think that matters much in the spirit of things.

The whole “VegasBB” (Vegas Birthday Bash or Vegas Blogger Birthday Bash) thing is doubly cool because we’re all Sagittarius!  Sagittarians are very lucky, of course.  However, I’m not going to hog all the luck to myself.  I’m deciding to share the luck with you.

That’s why I’m giving away something.  TO ONE OF YOU!  For mostly nothing.  All you gotta do is leave a comment for me or Ren on this blog post, wishing us luck, by Monday night, 7pm Central Time (12/14/2009), and you get a chance to win something. 

What can you win?  Well I happen to have an extra copy of BioWare’s Mass Effect for the XBOX 360, brand new & still sealed.


I realize that many of you might not even have an XBOX 360, but hey, it can make for a Christmas gift for someone you know that does.  Or you could sell it on eBay.  I don’t care. 


  • While you are free to leave multiple comments wishing us luck (we can take all the luck we can get!), each person only gets one entry into the contest.
  • You need to leave a valid email address in the comment form (not in the comment itself, of course).
  • I’m not selling anything or driving up traffic for any reason, so tweets or subscribing to blogs or other things like that do not get extra entries. 
  • I’ll use one of them thar randomizer thingies to determine the winner.
  • Only comments received before 7pm central on 12/14/2009 are in the running.

Watch us on Twitter (hashtag #VegasBB) for all our exploits and winnings!

It’s official.

Ren and I are going to Vegas for our birthdays this December. 

If I had the time and inclination, I’d photoshop our faces into this apropos movie poster.  I’m still trying to figure out which of us would be which actor. 

Both of us have birthdays in December, and we were chatting it up during pool league how we need to do another road trip. You know, like our TequilaCon 2009 road trip where we took video but I never made a DITL, er I mean RITL (Roadtrip In The Life) for it?  *THAT* kind of road trip.

Then it hit us that we should go to Vegas. 

Turns out there’s already a big blogger birthday bash going on during my actual birthday (Saturday the 12th), and there are a million or so bloggers going.  So after comparing flights, holiday vacation travel for the Halls (what I like to call Hall-iday travel), vacation time from work and hotel options, we made our plans.

Friday the 11th to Monday the 14th.   Join us!

What makes the accommodations especially cool is my RCI membership – we snagged an entire week at a resort for pretty cheap.  We’re not staying the whole week, but it ended up being cheaper than a hotel would have cost per night during the days we’ll be there, AND we get a full kitchen.

The blogger bash is going on at Planet Hollywood and place we chose to stay at is just a couple blocks from there.  Ren’s not on Facebook, but so far out of the 40+ people confirmed attending, I only recognize two faces, and one of them is mine.


So I will finally be able to meet Adam. 

I wonder.  Is the blogosphere ready for us to meet?

Here’s the official (is it official? it LOOKS official) link and picture that includes the obligatory Elvis, coming from the folks I’ve never heard of at Room 704.  All I know about them is that they are women and drinking is somehow involved.  What more can you ask for?

8:13 am
Post Meta :

Yeah, I don’t blog enough. Whatever.

So here’s another installment of How Lucky Is Wayne, Anyway? (a less successful but more interesting offshoot of Whose Line Is It, Anyway?)


For Round 1, we display his recent winnings at Avitable’s Avitaween raffle contest.  (Don’t you dare click over there if you still have decency and wholesomeness on your soul’s business card.  You’ve been warned.)  The Universe saw Wayne eyeing Ren’s recent Invaded! T-shirt purchase and knew that he wanted not one, but TWO of these shirts.  Universe also knew that although Wayne would have loved to go to Avitaween this year, it wasn’t to be, so The Universe saw to it that someone else won the actual plane trip to go to the party.

So now I’m a winner* and have to choose my shirts.  Naturally, I have to get one of Dave’s


I’m not sure on the other one yet, but it will probably be the splatter one. 

Stay tuned for my next post, which will probably be some additional bragging about how lucky I am, such as the job I just landed.


* see how I switched from third person to first person?  Winners do that.

7:02 pm
Post Meta :

I recently upgraded my Trillian Astra 4.0 beta and when I was done, it told me to go vote in a polldaddy poll.

So I did.  And then my brain does what it does so often: it locked up due to overthinking.

I actually answered without thinking at first, picking the only IM client on the list that I knew.  I’ve been a Trillian user for, sheesh… a looooooong time.  I’ve probably been a Trillian Pro user for 7 years, and I recently upgraded to Trillian Astra.  I’ve been mighty impressed with it, I must say.

Anyway, the question got to me because… did I mention I picked the only IM client on the list that I knew?  Since I’ve never used the other ones, how can I definitely say Astra was the best?   (to be honest, I’ve heard of Pidgin but never seen it in use).

Sure, it’s the best for me.  But I feel a little icky inside with answering because I don’t think it’s a fair question.  Had the question been “Which IM client do you use?” or even “Which of these IM clients have you always been dedicated to?” it would be more clarifying. 

Problem is, I’m happy with Astra and don’t even have an inkling of an urge to try something else.  My buddy list is > 1000 people long, built over more than a decade of adding, tweaking and organizing.  I use AOL, Yahoo, MSN, IRC, Google Talk, and JABBER.  Oh, and Astra connects to Facebook.   I still chat with some of the people on my list on a frequent basis, and I added them to my buddy list in 1998.

So can I get some forgiveness from the Internet?  I could use it.

5:30 pm
Post Meta :

Inspiration comes in many forms.  One of my favorite forms is Ren.

Ren is way smart.  And I’m way lucky.  Between the two of us, I’m pretty sure we’re going to figure out a way to solve the world’s energy problems.  Or maybe I’ll make a lot of money when he solves the problem.  Something like that.

There’s an ability Ren has of being able to discuss a subject devoid of annoying emotions that get in the way of logic, without coming across as if he’s Spock or Sheldon Cooper.  In fact, probably what makes Ren most endearing to me is his ability to not get annoyed.  That’s probably why we’ve been able to be friends so long.

A number of years ago, he impressed me by losing some weight when we worked together.  I ended up finding the weight he lost and now I’m ready to lose it.  Recently, Ren blogged about the one hundred pushups plan.  This is how he went from “impressed me” to “inspired me” in the fitness category.

I’ve now started the program.

The plan is a 6-week regimen of being able to do one hundred consecutive pushups. you do an initial test (where you max out how many you can do) and then choose three days a week to do a few sets.  It starts out easy enough, so it should be within reach of anyone.

100 pushups

My first suggestion, for those of you planning on trying this, have at least a full day between the initial test and your first day of the plan.  I did my initial test Sunday and chose Mon-Wed-Fri as my 3 days.  Of course, my abs and arms hurt like heck Monday afternoon when I tried the first set.

Also, since I play pool on Wednesdays, I figured out too late that it’s not a good day to actually do a lot of strenuous upper body work.  Therefore, I’m switching to Tue-Thu-Sat for my chosen days.

So far, I’m of two minds – on the one hand, I’m elated at the pumped up feeling my arms have after the first real set (Day 1).  I’ve been through Army Basic Training and I’ve also worked with personal trainers three different times in my life at a gym, so it’s not like this is an alien feeling.  I’m a little high from actually having my body be happy for being used up a little.  It truly is an uplifting feeling, if you forgive the pun.

On the other hand, I’m a little shamed at how bad I’ve let myself get, both weight-wise and physical strength-wise.  Some of it is that I have a 20 year High School reunion coming up.  Some of it is how big I look in pictures or the mirror.  Some of it is a nagging suspicion that it’ll only get harder as I get older, and I’d better grab that steer by the horns now if I’m going to make this analogy work in my favor.

If I have success, I’ll share some incredible before and after pictures 🙂

PS: thanx for the inspiration, Ren!

First of all, whoa.


Did you guys love all these guest posts as much as I did? I’ve half a mind to stop blogging myself and just get 20-30 people to commit to one guest post per month and just have them write for me.

Who’s with me!!!!!??

The side benefit to this master scheme is that, as you probably have noticed yourself, these bloggers end up writing BETTER material when they guest post than the stuff they normally put on their own blogs.

What? Isn’t this a reverse roast?

As LeSombre would say, Quel Frommage.

Let’s recap a little.

First, Dave2 from Blogography teed things off by actually making a BAD WAYNKEY!  He cleverly embedded it into a intolerance-based liberally biased anti-establishment fascist piece of propaganda disguised as a comic, and for that, I’m eternally grateful.  He even published an extended Behind The Scenes edition, only this time, with less New Kids On The Block shrines.

Then BlondeBlogger came by and deposited into the bank of whall a series of 10 questions and the readers were to pick which 5 were true.  The winner, Ren, supposedly gets “have a date with Whall at the LOLCat headquarters.”  I’ll pre-emptively accept his withdrawal from the contest.  I got another true statement: BB is hot.  Just look!

After BB came Hilly, aka snackiepoo.  She was able to conform to the strict Puritan values my blog espouses (yeah, right [bleepitybleeper!]) and bring on the Weird Science for us all.  She also pointed out all of our differences.  Thanx for that (WTF Hilly, you ride donkeys?!?!?).  But she did point out our commonalities- I do love the 80’s, I do have a great heart, and I LOVE TWEETING AND BLOGGING.

Then it got all serious-like.  Miss Britt infected my blog with Obamfluenza H1N1.  I had to go into quarantine and everything!  Usually, any given type of flu has an incubation period anywhere from 72 hours to 7 days, but evidently if one drinks the kool-aid fast enough, he or she can be overcome within minutes, afflicted with such symptoms as incredulous mysterious adulation towards public figures, radical socialist views, and a shrieking voice when debating (or so I’ve heard).  After watching 15+ minutes of Funny Obama, even *I* started experiencing my own symptoms of tolerance, acceptance and open-mindedness.  Fortunately for me I was able to purchase a new copy of Atlas Shrugged while on vacation, which is a common antidote for apathy-inducing liberalism.  WHEW!

And then?  YES!  YESSSSSSSS!  OMG YES!  No, I’m not having an episode. I’m still reeling from the awesome YES-laden guest post from Mr Shiny.  Here’s what I don’t get about Shiny – he’s undoubtedly one of the top 3 funniest, wittiest, smartest bloggers I’ve ever had the pleasure to read.  He’s absolutely brilliant.  I mean, there are bloggers out there I enjoy to read, but Shiny’s posts make me laugh out loud.  But he hardly gets any comments!  Even his guest post for me had the fewest comments out of all the guest posters.  I just don’t understand that.  It’s almost as if his posts are so good people find themselves unworthy to comment.   His LOLyes pictures were awesome, especially for huge YES fans such as myself.   And Shiny? I’d love to hear the Leave It track… I’m thinking of doing one too so maybe we can team up on that idea sometime.

Ren from Renagerie.com followed up the Amazing Mr Shiny with a clever new take on LOLcats, my blog and made something unique – WHALL-anti-cats.  He took photos he had of me over our 10yr friendship and captioned them with actual blog post titles from my blog.  And WOW.  He did nineteen (19) lolcaptionblogtitlethingies!  I think my favorite in the series is “an’ you’ll be poppin, lickin and breakin in no time…”  And yes, it’s all about the dorkiness of Wayne.

*content sigh*.  Then Poppy came to my blog and made it aww bettaw.  It wuz so pwehshush!  She whalljacked my blog and made an eccentric vlog with one of the sexiest coolest overdub narration voices you’ll ever hear.  And I think some rap.  And something about “Dirty Wayne” which is almost as nice sounding as I expect “Naughty Wayne” would sound like.  Thank you Poppy.  Thank you for the YES tie-in, the voiceover and the awesomeness you gave my blog.  And something about a lollipop in it or something.

What guest post whallstravaganza would be complete without a fatwha?  Faiqa from Native Born, aka Supreme Magistrate of All Things Wise, Prudent and Being Generally Better Than Everyone Else Without Even Trying of the NBLA, unleashed the NBLA’s demands on the world when they actually DID whalljack me with normal and just atypically terroristic and extremist demands.  I’m so glad they did. You will pay for your insolence.  I have seen the error of my ways.  Chuck Norris is gonna go all up in your face and roundhouse kick every turban off every extremist muslim head.  I’ve corrected my behavior and even built a time machine, went back in time, and put in TWO votes for Barack Obama just to make sure.  With just one roundhouse kick. I’m so glad my eyes have been opened. Blindfolded.  Please forgive me for my past.  And then LOLcaption it.  Sincerely, Marmontiansese Nbyuti Barack Hussein Obama (tongue click) W. Hall whall.  PS: May I express my fondness for your aesthetic qualities? My lord, you’re hot.

The final instwhallment of the guest post gala was performed by Mr Avitable.  From Avitable.com.  His last name is Avitable.  He doesn’t like it pronounced Avitable, he prefers it Avitable.  It can be a littable difficult to fittable the right syllables befittable such an iminitable Avitable, but it’ll make the fiddle knittable, said the quittable riddle in the middle.  I think I need to make this whole thing DITLable.  Now does everyone know how to pronounce Avitable?  Good. Now to his blog post.  He copied Faiqa.  End of story.  NEXT!

All in all, I think it was a quality showing.  I don’t know about you, but I’m already looking forward to my next vacation!

PS: Who was your favorite? I’ve been looking to start up some drama around here to drive up traffic, so which one did you hate and which on pwned the others?

Which guest posts were your favorites

View Results

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PS#2: The “Part V” in the title is a little secret.  Can anyone guess what it’s in reference to?

Ren and I made it into Santa Fe, NM yesterday for the TequilaCon 2009 and BeerHer “blogger conferences” aka “excuses for people who’ve never met to actually meet and drink while we’re at it.”  He’s doing more of the “trip report” thing over at his blog (Day 1 and Day 2), so check it out if interested.  Shoot, check it out even if you’re NOT interested because hey, he has pictures of me over there!

Also, since I’m not a cool kid with an iPhone or camera-enabled Blackberry, you might want to make sure you follow Ren on twitter.  He can live-twitpic on demand.

Pre-BeerHer was a blast as we met up with early arrivals Geeky Tai-Tai, Bellaventa, Karl and LibraGirl for a quick snack, some social lubrication and*ahem* colorful discourse.

Image Courtesy Renagerie

As you can see, all the guyfolk were making fun of my arm-reaching avatar.  All the womenfolk were just sitting there being hot.

Ren and I left that group after a couple hours and I waited  in the hotel for what felt like hours while Ren did a bunch of stuff on the computer, making us potentially late for our meeting, and I got all anxious and stuff.

We finally were able to leave.  Ren navigated while I drove (a good combination).  The unofficial BeerHer Pre-TequilaCon meet-up officially started with the two of us being the first to arrive at the Santa Fe Brewing Company, all alone in our lonesome loneliness, smothered in a blanket of solitude.  We scoped the place out a little and waited for the rest to show up.  Yes, you may now laugh at my aforementioned anxiety about tardiness.

Here’s basically what happened:

I met Dawg and laughed at his shirt.


Isn’t that shirt hilarious?!?!?!?  It cracked me up something fierce.  And it’s so true.   I shook his hand (paw?), said hello and then soon thereafter Ren took over and talked cameras and photo shutter speeds and exposurifics and lens capitals and flashonomics or something I caught a few glimpses of Dawg throughout the evening before he left.

Then I met TEH POPPY and got a great hug.

All I got to say about that is… it’s about time we met.  I was so looking forward to her smile, and laugh and funness, not to mention she’s smart and geeky.  Meeting her is truly one of the highlights I was looking forward to this whole trip.  Then Ren monopolized teh Poppy the rest of the evening by talking, you guessed it, camera stuff and this and that and features and facial recognizance and aperture focal planetariums and spot meets and what his focal length was and then she said goodbye.

Serving as the late-yet-incredibly-heralded arrivals, Marty Mankins and his lovely wife Reba showed up.

Although Marty and I differ on a few political beliefs, we have an online kinship that has grown over the last year, with video tributes, a shared love for music, and a mutual respect for each others’ technical prowess.  I was looking forward to chatting it up with him until Ren devoured their attention and cornered the market on MY friends while they immersed themselves in the one person at the meet-up I DIDN’T need to talk to and learn about, forcing me to wallow in the corner curled up in a fetal ball while I talked to my camera and consoled it telling it everything will be better tomorrow.  But then they left.

I also met the youngun of the group, ohsarahjoy.

L-R: Bellaventa, OhSarahJoy, LibraGirl

L-R: Bellaventa, OhSarahJoy, LibraGirl

If there’s any cause in the world colossal enough to be worthy of an event like “BeerHer”, this has to be it – a soon-to-be-22-year-old drinking her very first beer, surrounded by people she’s never met in a city far away from home.

All-in-all, it was a good start to the vacation and I can’t wait for Ren to overpower my inconsequential presence at tonight’s blogger meet-up!

6:00 am
Post Meta :

Ren and Jen are disqualified from this here challenge.

Anyone else care to guess what this is, what the numbers mean, or why the highlighted numbers are so cool to me?

It’s one of my favorite things.

UPDATE: it is a 9-ball scoresheet from the APA pool league I play on every Wednesday night.

In APA 9-ball, you get a point for every ball you sink.  Each vertical column of numbers represents a game, and the numbers on top and bottom are the cumulative total for each player.  I’m the player on top, and what this shows is me going from 18 points to 46 and keeping my opponent at 22 points (ie, I didn’t let him score one point during my 28 point grab).  It also shows that I sank 28 balls within 5 turns, and that’s pretty good for me.

Tthanx all for playing along!

Ren from renagerie.com posted recently about how he wants to lose some weight again.  He lost a good 60-70 lbs a few years ago just by tracking his food and exercising.  This time around he just wants to nitpick about a few pounds, but him talking about it nudged me to do the same.  However, my starting weight is “just a tad” bit higher than his was, so thankfully my goal weight isn’t as low as his was.

I should also mention that TequilaCon 2008 is coming up end of next month and I wanna look my best.  I’m pretty sure my chances to look my best are quite good when I go where everyone is drunk and can’t see straight.

Maybe I’m destined to write the next best-seller, sure to sweep the nation with a new “diet fad” that will get immense press, great reviews and I’ll be on every talk show out there.  I’ll run the whole circuit with celebrity appearances; everyone will want me to visit their town and spread the news about the latest Awesome Thing; I’ll have a scandalous affair with Kirstie Alley (hey, she’s on my list) and then after a year or so the whole thing will die down, but America will be better for it because I was able to touch a few hearts along the way and build amazing memories.  That, plus I scored serious bank for my retirement, yo.  Then I’ll be able to afford my own Burger King.

I hereby unleash my super cool idea on the world: Eat Less, Do More™

Here’s the concept in two easy steps:

  • Eat Less.
  • Do More.

Never before has so much geniusness and smartacious intellection been combined in a collective yet together kind of way.

This plan is so easy!  No matter where you go, you can incorporate these two incredibly basic ideas into your day.

Some examples:

  • Let’s say you go out to dinner.  When you start eating your food, remember: Eat Less.  Simply put, this means you consume a lower amount of food than you normally would.  The end result?  You eat less!
  • Any time you feel like doing something, just Do More. By doing more, you increase the amount of stuff you do.  The added “do-ness” incrementally acts as an additive to what you get done.  I know it sounds like magic, but it works.
  • When in doubt, Eat Less.
  • You might find yourself not doing anything for a while.  Why not do something instead?  By replacing your “doing nothing” situation with a “doing something” scenario, you mix it up a little.  By doing something, you actually Do More!
  • Always remember to reduce what you eat while increasing what you do.
  • Do More while you Eat Less.
  • Eat Less so you may Do More.

Don’t feel daunted by daunting task of tracking the daunting things in life.  Instead, try to Do More.  While you’re Doing More, remember to Eat Less.  Don’t forget the Do More part while you’re eating less, either.

Let’s review.

Eat Less & Do More

We’ve gone over some important concepts in the Eat Less, Do More™ Program, and it’s crucial that you don’t forget what you’re supposed to remember.  Remember to Eat Less but don’t forget to Do More.  It’s that simple.  When you do both at the same time, it’s like they’re combined into one action.

Testimonials (add your own in the comment section):

“There was a time in my life where I didn’t know what to do.  I took Wayne’s fabulous Eat Less, Do More™ Program and now I know the secret!  He taught me the principles I needed to understand what it really meant to Eat Less and Do More.  Thank you, Wayne!”

— A.N., New York

“I was lost until I found Wayne.  His understanding of the Eat Less, Do More™ Program far surpassed my expectations.  I had no idea it could be so simple!  I’m going to Eat Less, Do More for life!

— D.S, Alabama

“Who knew *I* could Eat Less?  Amazing!”

— J.T., California

“I never thought I could Do More.  I’ve seen others do it, but always figured it was for someone else.  But guess what?  Now I’m doing more!”

K.P., Michegan

“I really appreciated Wayne’s approach for teaching people his approach to the Eat Less, Do More™ Program. At first, I mixed up the concepts and was eating more and doing less, but Wayne quickly pointed out that I needed to eat LESS.  I needed to DO more.  Once he re-explained everything, I knew my third time through his course would be a success.”

G.R., Oregon

I’m wondering a few things today… if anyone will do a blog post today and NOT mention the election; if Obama can lose and NOT have rioting in the streets; if people can actually open up their minds and realize polls are evil concoctions of lies upon lies.

But as I sit and wonder, I submit to you a few important reminders about today and tomorrow.


The Democratic National Committee has finally won their long-sought bid to segregate the vote.  The DNC believes that the only way to truly be accurate in vote counting is to have one party vote one day and the other party vote the second day.  That way, we only have to count bodies who show up, not actually tally any specific vote.  I applaud the effort towards accuracy.

As much as I hate to admit it, the Democrats are right on this issue: we should have separate days for voting.  I also admit that the Conservatively-biased right-wing media has hidden this landmark win by the DNC and I’m ashamed for it.  So I will be fair, “reach across the aisle,” so to speak, and remind all of the Democrats to vote tomorrow (Wednesday, November 5th).  Let the evil Republicans cast their vote today and then you’ll have all day tomorrow to cast.  Remember: if you vote today, your vote won’t count, so be sure to show up to the polling stations tomorrow.  

Don’t waste your vote!  Don’t just Vote FOR Tomorrow.  Vote tomorrow!


With all the confused Democrats out there, expect the exit polls to be tilted.  Even Matt Drudge, arguably the most liberal reporter out there, admits that exit polls almost always tilt Democrat.  This may be for a number of reasons, one of which is that the democrat voter might have more time on their hands to sit around and take a poll.  Another might be that they’re better looking (most of Hollywood is Democrat; therefore, Democrats are statistically more beautiful), so the poll-takers gravitate to them in a zombie-like trance, stunned by their aesthetic awesomeness.

The key thing to remember, fellow Conservatives, is to NOT be swayed by the misleading poll numbers and reports.  YOU SHOULD KNOW that the main stream media will “call the election” way early. You know how Christmas is already here, and it’s just barely November? People like to get ahead of themselves.  

In normal fashion, CNN, ABC and NBC have already predicted Obama has won his second term in 2012.


Friends, I have a friend named Ren that was my friend.  Let me tell you a story.

There once was a wise wizard named Gandalf.  (In this story, I’m Gandalf).

There was also a VERY WISE and mentor-like wizard named Saruman.  Saruman is the first in his order.  Many people look up to him for council and mentorship.  (In this story, Ren is Saruman).

Then there was Sauron, aka “Abhorred”.  Eru (“the One”, aka GOD) created Sauron.  Sauron is the most evil and will take over the world unless vanquished by a Fellowship.  (In this story, Obama is Sauron)

(image taken from splendoroftruth.com)

When I learned that Ren had been deceived by the Deceiver, I felt as Gandalf must have felt.  The *one* person in the entire who could formulate and articulate an argument to get me to open up and even THINK about any good Obama could do, actually went over to the other side!  Fortunately for me I see the Eye of Sauron firmly entrenched in Ren’s core and will fight to resist.

That, or I’ve been smoking too much of the halfling’s weed.




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