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Hi, This is Wayne. This is my site, my stuff, my blog, blahblahblah. The site itself is powered by WordPress and the Scary Little theme. I thought it was cool, and I still do.

October
23
2008
5:16 pm
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I started thinking about this topic on the way to work this morning… then thought “hey, can I fit this into 140 characters or less and say something on twitter?” and then figured I needed more space and thought “maybe I can could do an utter insteadI *am* a newly designated Utterly Ambassador, after all…

But then I decided I needed to do a blog post.

YES. 

I WANT TO TALK ABOUT SARAH PALIN’S CLOTHES.

You may or may not have heard about some people crying about Sarah Palin purchasing some hundred and fifty grand worth of clothing, hair, accessories, etc over a two month period.  There’s plenty of discussion, talk, opinion and hyperbole out there for you to choose from, so I thought I’d not bore you by repeating all those points of view here.

Instead, I give you FRESH, new whalltabulous thinking!

1st Point – it’s not taxpayer funded

Ok, I lied. This point isn’t actually unique.  A lot of places have pointed out that this $150K is fron the Republican National Committee, NOT funded by tax rolls.  However, I think it worthy to point this fact out because I still get the creepy feeling when I hear the stories on the radio or read about it online; the journalists do not try to make that clear.  I suspect they are trying to play on people’s class envy strings and crass “Look at them! They don’t deserve better than you! You need to hate them!!!” attitude.

2nd Point – it’s GOP money paying more taxes

$150,000.  That’s a lot of dough.  Assuming 8% sales tax, that’s $12,000 taken from Republican pockets and put where?  RIGHT BACK into the tax system.  I would think the Democrats would LOVE this!  These high-end department stores like Saks Fifth Avenue and Neiman Marcus supposedly rake in all the BIG BUCKS, so they get to tax the high profits as well, so that’s another 5-digits of income for the tax system, right?

I mean – taking money away from evil rich republicans and letting the politicians put it where they want to?  I can just hear them now… “Sounds like a dream come true!  Whoohoo!  I hope they spend a LOT of money on stuff like this instead of the campaign in Florida or Indiana or more advertisments!”  Can’t you? 

3rd point – it helps the economy

Once again, it’s money from Republicans that helped pay for these goods, and in order for there to be goods, there are some things that have to be there first.  Buying these goods helping people have work to make the goods, ship the goods, sell the goods, borrow the goods the night before for a night out on the town with the price tag still on.  They’re indirectly helping the economy with such a big purchase.

4th point – clothes destined for charity

As the campaign announced, the clothes were going to be donated to charity after they were used, in accordance with rules regarding campaign expenditures for long-term benefit to the candidates.  So once again, it’s GOP money helping out the poor, disadvantaged folk who are living in poverty without their Coach purses and Gucci cat collars.

There are probably other salient points out there worth investigating, but these four are enough for my fingers today. 

Maybe even after all these benefits are to be gained, there are still those in the mdia that weigh them against the envy factor in the news and think it still better to yell out loud the private business of a presidential candidate, in the hopes to drum up additional partisan hatred and vitriol.

Makes me wonder why they changed their mind from back in the Clinton years.  I mean, back THEN, the private business of a presidential candidate was off limits….

I’m sorry I had to keep it a secret from all my friends, family and readers.  But you know how these things go – word gets out, and complete pandemonium breaks out.  We didn’t want to give our opponents any extra time.  And I’m sure you’ll agree, this is a complete surprise!  At least, I bet you didn’t see it coming.  (note: the announcement of Sarah Palin as VP pick is just a ruse to throw off the Obama campaign.)

It gives me great pleasure to announce that John McCain has picked ME to be his Vice Presidential Running Mate!

That’s right!  ME!  Wayne!  aka whall.  The Whallster.  Whallify.  Creator of WHALLcats.  Proud father of a fourth-generation middle-name-Wayne member of the Hall family.  Decorated non-wartime military hero bandsman.  Unifying force for Unix, Windows *and* Mac use in business and at home.  Conspiracy Theorist Esquire.  Hot Blogger Calendar Nominee.

One of the first things John and I sat down to discuss was our brand.  We all know that without a good brand, there’s no success.  Dell is a leader in the computer idustry because it’s a short name.  Same with IBM and HP.  Think about it – who would vote for “Stephanopolous-Garfinkel”?  The advertising budget alone would sink a compaign faster than tacking “Edwards” to the end of a ticket.

We settled on a single word – McWayne – instead of the typical lastname+lastname.  It rolls off the tongue much better than “Obama-Biden,” don’t you think?  Say to yourself – “Vote McWayne“.  It’s incredibly efficient!

john mccain and whall is mcwayne 2008

We didn’t want to be known as McCain-Hall or McCain-Wayne, although the rhyming words probably would help us in the polls.  We also toyed with using “John Wayne” as our mascot and name because John Wayne is clearly an icon of strength, integrity, rugged individualism and pure Americana.  However, we thought there were too many pot-shots that the pundits could easily take, such as “we’re going to put an actor in the White House???!?” 

We all know the urgent issues facing America today.  And that’s why we need a leader, not a messiah.  We don’t need “change we can believe in.”  We don’t need “hope.”  Try putting change or hope into your bank account and see what that gets you.  But think for a moment of the promise that LOLcats bring you.  Yeah, you’re feeling it now, aren’t you? 

That’s right!  And we want your vote.  We have a few buttons you can add to your blog.

mccain wayne mcwayne we can haz whitehouse

We hope to usher in a new era, where voters turn out in droves to submit their own captions to nominees.  We will make a fully automated system where you can take any picture of any candidate, and create a clever set of words and phrases and have them presented for Internet voting.

I see they’re already starting to pour in.  Here’s a recent submission for your perusal:

obama biden campaign poster kool aid koolaid we haz it lolcats

 


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