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Hi, This is Wayne. This is my site, my stuff, my blog, blahblahblah. The site itself is powered by WordPress and the Scary Little theme. I thought it was cool, and I still do.

I have an idea for a killer new TV show sure to sweep all the Grammys, Emmys, Tonys, Awardies and Buzzies.

It’s called

So You Think You Can Survive Watching American Idol With the Stars of Jersey Shore?

It’s new!

It’s exciting!

It does the same thing every other mass-produced show or movie does — plagiarizes someone else’s idea while adding something 1% unique.

But this time, it’s different.  THIS show is at least 4.5% unique.

The idea:

Six random contestants are selected each week.  They are placed in a decked out TV media room with plush recliners – you know, the ones with drink holders and power recliner footrests – and are provided unlimited drinks and superb catering.  The electronics are insane – a massive  HD TV, immersive 7.1 digital sound and a button in their chair to get a refill on their tasty beverage of choice.  The chairs even have mini subwoofers embedded in them for even more skin-grabbing bass.

The challenge?  Each contestant must endure watching American Idol each week with a different cast member from Jersey Shore.  One week it’s Snooki, then Pauly D, then JWoww… and maybe throw in one of the people “behind” the camera, like a grip or producer or something.

Sound simple?  Sound easy?  OF COURSE IT’S NOT SIMPLE OR EASY.  The contestants and the Jersey Shore cast member must actually spend THE ENTIRE WEEK in the same room, with the previous week’s American Idol episode on CONSTANT REPEAT.  There’s only unlimited drinks, unlimited food, a restroom, a treadmill, and 24×7 cameras.

No phones, no computers, no outside communication whatsoever.

The TV screen is actually embedded into the wall, is bullet-proof and completely protected.  It cannot be turned off.  It cannot be turned down.  It cannot be covered up.

The food is chef-prepared, succulent and probably the best food the contestants have ever had.

At the end of each day, contestants are given a 10-question test.  The questions come from three areas: the American Idol show, commercials, and what they know of each of the other candidates.  Each correct answer gives them one additional “vote”.  At the end of the test they’re able to apply each of their votes to “vote off” another contestant.  They can apply all votes to one person or distribute them however they wish.  The contestant with the most votes against them doesn’t return the next day.

There will be many surprises each day.  Contestants may be granted extra votes for various reasons.  There may be a bonus question worth extra votes.  At random times through the week, mini-challenges may show up on the TV that grant votes (who can be quiet the longest, who can do the most pushups, who has used the treadmill the longest, who can go the longest without eating).  The challenges that come up won’t be announced with any sound but will just appear on the TV.

There are no showers.  The contestants are allowed to bring toothbrush, toothpaste and one change of clothes.

The prize for the last remaining contestant will be a similar setup for their home – an ultimate multimedia room with onsite maid, butler and chef for one year, and one of each item advertised in the commercials.

Now it’s your turn — what else would you add or modify to this up and coming reality show hit?

Honestly, I think it’s the best idea since Star Wars Search with Ed McLightsaberPants(In my opinion, that show got a LOT better when Mace Windu took over and always started the show bringing down a Sith Assassin and crying out “I’m TIRED of all these motherfracking Sith in the motherfracking Senate!”)

If you haven’t seen TeeFury yet, it’s quite a neat deal.  It’s a website (and twitter account, iPhone app, email list, etc) where they just sell ONE T-shirt for 24 hours.  For $9.

That whole “gone tomorrow” part?  Absolutely true.  They only sell the one shirt, for the one day, and there ain’t no going back.

If it sells out?  Tough Shirt.

If you missed it by a minute?  Noshirtforyou!

My history with Teefury

I had bought one shirt from them a while back – it was a cool Star Wars inspired design of AT-AT’s as seen behind an X-Ray from a Veterinary Clinic’s point of view.

Since Star Wars is a big part of my job, I thought it quite fitting (haha).  The fact that it’s an instant collector’s item isn’t a bad deal either, because I’m snobby like that.  I also like the weird look of recognition certain people get when they look at my shirt, then look again, then smile when they recognize the AT-AT (All Terrain Armored Transport).

The “Grab Bag”

Sometimes TeeFury does these things called “Grab Bags”.  You pay $5 a shirt for X number of shirts, and you have absolutely no idea (or control) over what you get.  You might get cool shirts; you might get “whaaaa?” shirts; you might get “ok” shirts; and if you’re like me, you wait for weeeeeeks to find out what you get.

People even post what shirts they got on the forums.  Either they’re commiserating or gloating, or a little of both.

I participated in my first Teefury Grab Bag recently and I must say, I’m quite impressed with the results.

What Did Wayne Get?

I know, you’re wondering what I got from my Grab Bag.  After all, you read my blog because you CAN’T WAIT to know what happens to me, right?

First, let’s get the stupid one out of the way.  WHAT IN THE HILTON HEAD ISLAND is this thing?

It’s a cat.  A happy cat.  riding a Motorcycle with a fish on the tank (heh, fish tank).  Plaid-looking seat.  Detailed jacket, pants, pointy boots, and WHY IS IT YELLOW?!?!?

There’s an explanation over at MyLoveForYou about an artist named Lisa Hanawalt who made a shirt called “Kitty Biker“.  I don’t mind telling you – I’m more lost than a caveman with Tourette’s trying to do open heart surgery with a chainsaw while wearing oven mitts.

At night.

While drunk.

Moving on… We come to something I still am a little lost by (doesn’t take much, I guess… maybe I was put into shock from the first shirt) but at LEAST it’s a little bit appropriate for me.  I am, after all, a strong proponent of the 2nd Amendment and the right our Founding Fathers gave us to keep and bear arms.

I googled for a while to try and find out what the name of this shirt is, but failed.  It’s probably on my receipt, which I threw away.  Anyway, here it is for your perusal.

Not bad.  Not good, either… but not bad.

Wait a second.  Is this an anti-2nd-amendment shirt?!?!?!?  I’ll have to do some more self-reflection before I actually wear this down to the next Secede Texas Rally.

The Most Appropriate Shirt Ever Shipped

Then I look at the 3rd shirt and I’m like… whoa, Keanu-style.

YES, that’s a Death Star.

YES, those are Tie-Fighters.

YES, that’s an X-Wing at the bottom.

YES, it’s Space Invaders, Star Wars-style.

YES, IT’S MINE!

Teefury, I think I love you.  I think I want to go out into the galaxy and do wild things with you and then go to Anchorhead and get our memories erased.  Copy that, Gold Leader *wink*  I’d like to take you point five past lightspeed, and it will take me a LOT longer than twelve parsecs to make the Kessel Run.

Now that I have the iPhone app installed, I don’t think I’ll be missing out on too many cool shirts in the future.

I had promised some more details about the new job. 

I’ve written two whole posts over the last 3 or 4 months (slight exaggeration) and despite my absence from the online world, I got a record 3,755 comments (slight exaggeration), and have converted 16 people over to Staunch Conservatism (major exaggeration).  I’d say that’s a win by anyone’s count, especially if anyone is bad at math.

In a nutshell, I left my IT Director job at a nationwide ISP to focus on a single discipline to become Network Manager for a gaming company.  I’m in my second week.  While the move made me a little anxious for a few reasons, any trepidation or concerns I had about the change have been completely replaced with confident resolve and verve.  I didn’t just pick “resolve” and “verve” because of their preponderance of the letter “V”; they directly define my attitude towards the recent shift.

My new company makes a few games that game players recognize (Dragon Age, Mass Effect, Jade Empire, Sonic Chronicles, Baldur’s Gate, Neverwinter Nights, etc), but our entire studio here in Austin is devoted to a game that’s not even released yet, and won’t be until some time next year: Star Wars: The Old Republic.

swtor(click to embiggify)

Now, I’m not what you’d call a game player.  I’ve never played an MMO (Massively Multiplayer Online) game before, but I have heard of them.  I know a little about World of Warcraft and have quite a few friends who play it regularly.   This new Star Wars-based MMO is set roughly 3000-4000 years before the movies and chronicles a tumultuous conflict between the Jedi and the Sith.  If you go to swtor.com and view some of the trailers, it really is fascinating to watch the story develop.

About the only games I play with any true passion are Guitar Hero related… and a few others.  Some of my favorites are Treasure Planet, Simpsons Hit and Run, and Simpsons Road Rage.  Singstar is fun in a group.

For a great ~12 minute overview of the game, including some video and cool effects, you can watch an interview with our two GM’s.  Even just the first 3-4 minutes is worth catching some of the sequences and characters, including a juicy trailer.

So, I’ll be doing a bunch of really cool networking stuff to support a really cool game.  I mean, hey.  It’s STAR WARS. (vocal emphasis performed by James Earl Jones)

allegiance

The company itself is amazing, with high-caliber talent lining all the hallways, engaging artwork and storyboards getting tons of focused attention, sound effects studios colorfully enhancing the aura of the place, and uber-smart programmers passionate about their work.  I particularly enjoy a smorgasbord of benefits, such as, well, a smorgasbord.  Breakfast is provided every morning.  Healthy breakfast.  The commute is 5-7 minutes shorter.  Great vacation policies.  Free games.  Affordable healthcare.  Plenty of appropriate equipment and tools to do my job.  Covered parking.  Did I mention free breakfast (and breakfast tacos on Fridays)?

It’s difficult to leave some things behind from my old job.  You know, like clout.  History.  Being “the guy” who built a lot of what we had.  An Old-Timer, so to speak.  I had the familiarity of environment and a solid reputation.  I had control over most everything IT-related and it was enjoyable being on top.  Now, however, I’m the New Guy.  The outsider.  Someone who has to be brought up to speed and ask all the questions. 

I’ve always been a Star Wars fan… and now I get to experience it like never before.

September
15
2009
8:32 am
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Don’t you just LOVE it when there’s a blogger you read (or watch) and they blog for a while and then they just disappear for a few weeks?  Sure, they’re on twitter, and they utter now and again (despite Utterli having tremendous telephone interface issues), and they pop up their head every once in a while to do a blog upgrade or two (if you haven’t heard yet, all you WordPress users should make sure you upgrade).

Sarcasm aside, don’t also just LOVE IT when a talented and giving blogger is cool and all, but still ends up not delivering on promises he made?  (you and YOU and you know what I’m talking about.  Especially YOU).

I promise I haven’t forgotten.  These promises range from a blog setup, a song, a guest post, a painting, a astrology reading… the list goes on and on.  In fact, I just added one about not forgetting.  Seems I hand out promises faster than Congress can create bills to hand out cash.

(speaking of which – have you signed the petition /poll urging Congress to pass a bill stating that Members of Congress and their families must be forced to enroll themselves into whatever health plan they pass for us citizens?  Go do that.)

In the meantime, I gave to Chili’s Create-a-Pepper fight cancer blitz.  I even wrote some code (which in retrospect is slightly wrong; I didn’t have my favorite code editor to help me.)

chilis
(click to embiggify)

While my procrastinating behavior is no excuse, I will say that a few things going on have taken center stage.  One is a new job.

Yup.  After almost NINE (9) years at the same company through mergers, acquisitions, growth and hard work, I’m leaving my awesome job as IT Director of a large national ISP.  It was a tough decision, because, well… I wasn’t looking for a new job.  I like it quite a bit here.  The company I’m at is great, the work is fun, the future is bright and gosh darn it, they even provide shades.  And 35 cent sodas in the vending machine.

But when The Force calls you to action, it’s not like you can just walk away and say no.

starwars-old-republic
(click to embiggify)

I’m not even sure how much I can talk about the new job, so hang out a bit and I’ll probably explain more soon.  I know I can say for sure that it’s a geek’s dream come true.  At least, it’s THIS geek’s dream come true.  I start this coming Monday.

CRAP. I START MONDAY!  GAH!

Remember all those excuses I was saying I had?  One of them is the fact that I’ve been at my current job for almost 9 years and I’m leaving this Friday!  THERE’S SO MUCH TO DO.  Pretty much everything in IT that’s here, I either built, made, bought, set up, coded, installed, customized, supported, cussed at, tweaked, broke, fixed, loved, threw out, kicked, compiled, uninstalled, mentored, laughed with, documented, reviewed, spilled Pepsi on, plugged in, turned off, racked, stacked, touched and/or hugged.  We’re talking hundreds and hundres of servers, networks, firewalls, phone systems, call centers, blackberries, workstations and software packages.  At one time we were 86 people and now we’re almost 500.  There’s a lot of tribal knowledge to transfer with just a three week notice.

On one hand, I’ll be breathing a sigh of relief as I drop the burden of all the little issues off my back by leaving. On the other hand, I’ll be learning a whole NEW set of little issues to welcome onto my back.

So that’s what’s new with me.  What’s new with you?

(note: the above question is NOT just a question-tactic to get comments.  If I were inclined to incite people to comment, I’d ask your opinion about health care.)

Unlike the debate going on tonight, this one is easy.

Which of these pictures is more awesome?

Selection #1: Star Wars Awesome Poster

Selection #2: Dueling Light Saber Squirrels

I mean, they’re both awesome.  But I need to know which is more awesome.  Kind of like the Presidential debate – vitriol and bias aside, BOTH candidates are smart, capable leaders and possess a list of positives so long that you’d run out of breath dictating them all, but only one of them can win.  Such as it is with these pictures.

MAKE YOUR CHOICE!

Which Star Wars Picture is more awesome?

View Results

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I will honor last minute submissions, too.  Kind of like when Obama is going to drop Biden for Clinton in about 15-25 days (you heard it here FIRST!)

I see others do it (Dave at Blogography, Avitable at his site [warning: not family friendly]) and it’s a good idea – in general, try to restrict yourself to one good blog entry per day, and then with all the little things you come up with during the week that you want to blog about, but don’t want to dwarf the major entries, stick into a weekly bulleted list.  Of course, I’m unable to come up with any good blog entries at all, so maybe I can try the weekly crap and I’ll someday get somewhere.

Some call it a Weekly Rollup, others a Weekly Digest.  Some just say Weekly Blog Summary.   Mine will hereafter be called “Stuff you don’t want to MISC” for all the myriad miscellanous minutae my mind might make, mostly maul, may massacre.

“Cars” humor

Jaden (5 yr old) was playing CARS the game, and it struck me they were playing “Piston Cup”.  That’s just funny as all heck.  Some friends were over and Jaden kept asking “You wanna play Piston Cup?”

(sound it out).

Does that mean taking a drug test?

Chuck Norris Generator

http://marsupialmusic.net/stu/2007/01/chuck-norris-generator/ 

I’ve added the Google Widget for this to my google Desktop Sidebar, as I can’t get enough.  Well, I actually can (try reading the comments of the above link – ugh), but I like getting one good Chuck Norris quote per day, and this fits the bill quite nicely.  I also have the Steven Colbert Quotes of Truthiness google widget installed.

I might have to add the Chuck Norris generator to my site…. mmmm, Chuck Norris quotes.

Bowser & Blue – Colorectal surgeon

This is hilarious – a Canadian musical duo doing their song about Colorectal surgeons.

heh.  18 holes a day.  Ew. 🙂

June
15
2007
7:22 am
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Awesome star wars poster

Reminds me of Lazlo’s Relativity Axiom: “No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats, approximately 1 billion Chinese people couldn’t care less.”

June
6
2007
2:37 pm
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This was done very well. 

My comments:

  • I especially like the light saber work.  I need to learn how to do that.  I mean the ability to use software to add special effects, NOT actually using a light saber.  Although, I need to learn how to do THAT, too.
  • The audio was also well “directed”.  Is that the right term?  Maybe plaigiarized is a better word?  Anyway, the content flows well.  It helps, I guess, that the Black Knight has no mouth showing.  Probably for the better, for the King may very well have lopped off his lips.
  • I’m thinking the next one should be a mangling of the audio/video from Princess Bride swordfight, Star Wars, The Black Knight and maybe the Star Wars Kid.  Perhaps when I get some free time I’ll start working on that :).
January
7
2007
6:13 pm
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Ok, this list is hilarious.

Top Star Wars Lines Improved by Replacing a Word with “Pants”

My fave’s:

  • I find your lack of pants disturbing.
  • I cannot teach him. The boy has no pants.
  • Governer Tarkin. I should have expected to find you holding Vader’s pants.
  • These aren’t the pants you’re looking for.
  • He has no time for smugglers who drop their pants first sign of Imperials.
  • Lock the door. And hope they don’t have pants.
  • You are part of the rebel alliance, and a traitor. Take her pants!
  • Judge me by my pants, do you?
  • Yousa tinken yousa people ganna wear pants??? -Jar Jar Binks
  • TK421, why aren’t you at your pants?

Ah, Star Wars.  Never dies.


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