I sold a few things on eBay recently and was just plain AMAZED at the ebay/paypal/ups/usps partnerships that have grown over the past years. I’m new to this “online postage” thing and “back in my day” (hehe) when we sold something online, gosh-darned-it we had to box it up and go to the post office and stand in line.
<Potter voice ON> And we didn’t even have a fancy computer drawing program to paint us a picture! <Potter voice OFF>
This time, however, I just accepted my paypal payment and from there saw the “print shipping label” link and figured, what the hey. 5 minutes later I was able to print a shipping label for USPS for $2.20, boxed up the item and could just stick the sucker in my mailbox at home.
That was convenience in a cup.
The second item I did? Same deal, but even faster because now I knew what I was doing.
Call me Shipmael.
Then I needed to ship a box NOT related to an auction, Paypal, or anything online. Jaden (our 6yr old son) received a pair of Heely’s skate shoes for Christmas and was hella excited about them.
And why wouldn’t he be? I can’t recall how many times I dreamed of going through school halls or down the street with shoes that had wheels in them. I knew I’d invent it when I got older and make a million dollars.
Ooops.
Anyway, problem is, they’re a size too small. So I go to the retailer’s website, and lo-and-behold, they have a great return policy for wrong size. You just ship them the shoes with a note, and they’ll ship a replacement pair FREE. They’ll do this only once, but that’s more than fair. Did I mention they’ll ship us the replacement pair for free?
I box up the shoes and weigh the box – comes in at 3.8 lbs. I go over to my trusty paypal account thinking I could just whip me up a neat shipping label and….
nope. Paypal won’t do a shipping label unless it’s specific to a transaction.
Oh well. So I go to USPS.GOV thinking I can just print me up another one of those fancy labels. And sure enough, I can.
But only for PRIORITY MAIL.
What kind of crap is that? For one, why is it more than eight bucks to ship a 3 lb box, even if it is just Parcel Post?
UPS Ground was about the same price, but I expected UPS to cost more – they’d get it there in 4 days vs 6 days. Another issue is that I remember seeing a sign at the post office that said something like “packages over 13 ounces cannot have stamps on them” or some such, so it’s not like I was comfortable buying $8.62 of online postage and taping it to the box either.
A driving force in play here is that Jaden is without his Christmas present until the Heely’s can get to NY and back. So the 4-day delta is a big factor, especially since I’m the one who picked out the original size and messed everything up in the first place. Guilt creeps in, makes a bed in my soul and promptly starts snoring.
So I go with the $12.14 2-day Priority Mail option.
While I wait, I peruse the “features and benefits” of this shoe. No-lie, these are ACTUAL PRODUCT QUOTES FROM THE SHOE.
- Slice through the skate park – ninja style.
um, you have to be a pretty imaginative person to equate a 6yr old learning how to skate on just one wheel per foot, flailing about through the park, hugging on every stranger, pet or porta-potty they can get their hands on to not fall down… with a ninja. Especially a slicing ninja. - Synthetic suede and perforated leather upper with text-filled graphic.
mmmm, sythetic suede! And what’s that you say? The graphic is, hold me down from the excitement… TEXT-FILLED??!!?!! OMG! I didn’t know graphics could be filled with text! - Padded tongue and collar add extra comfort and support.
I wish all the asylums had that. - Soft textile lining.
Hmm. a lining made of textile. You might as well say “this shoe is very shoe-like.” - PU midsole.
So does this mean the feet come pre-filled with stink? - Textured EVA outsole.
Best. Outsole texture. EVA. - MEGA graffiti wheel.
Not just a graffiti wheel, but a MEGA graffiti wheel. - ABEC 5 608 bearings.
I have no idea what this means.
