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Hi, This is Wayne. This is my site, my stuff, my blog, blahblahblah. The site itself is powered by WordPress and the Scary Little theme. I thought it was cool, and I still do.

Once again, I found myself having some pretty bad computer performance / usability issues over the last 2-3 weeks.  I’ve fixed it, but I at least want to document what went on in case someone else runs into it.

Although, now that I think about it – what’s the point?  The answer eventually was, in this order, A) update the drivers and B) install microsoft updates.  Since there’s nothing magical or mysterious about these fixes, and the steps I took are exactly what any techno-savvy support person would do, why would I waste your time with all the details?

So I’ll summarize that my laptop would resume from standby and not have any displayable screens.  Both the laptop screen and the external monitor would be blank.  Only a reboot would fix (to save data, I would remote desktop from another machine while on network).  I also had a short span of time where it WOULD show the startup page but it would not accept CTRL-ALT-DEL at all.

So instead of boring you, I’ll give you a joke.

A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees.

“I don’t want to know,” the child said, bursting into tears. “Promise me you won’t tell me.” 

Confused, the father asked what was wrong.

The boy sobbed, “When I was six, I got the ‘There’s no Easter Bunny’ speech. At seven, I got the ‘There’s no Tooth Fairy’ speech.

When I was eight, you hit me with the ‘There’s no Santa’ speech.
 
If you’re going to tell me that grown-ups don’t really get laid, I’ll have nothing left to live for.”

I’ve been dealing with a slower-than-it-should-be laptop for a LONG time.  I’ve blogged about it before, a couple things that just annoy me about the performance of my system.  I thought it was related to Google Desktop Search and/or Windows Desktop Search, because when either (or both) of those are installed, the performance just goes way down the tubes.

Symptoms include: email being slow, web browsers being slow, resuming from standby is slow.  (insert any activity) is slow.  About the only thing that ISN’T slow is trillian (instant messaging and chat), and even it is interrupted sometimes because the mouse stops moving and everything halts for a few seconds, and then goes back to normal.

But even with the desktop tools NOT installed, the laptop just does not perform like a dual-core at 1.83Ghz.   It’s performing more like a dueling whore at one point, ate on a tree with Gilligan hurting. (ouch, that one hurt even me)

I’m beginning to think it’s possessed:

demon dell 620 latitude

So I was chatting about it with a co-worker, going through all the common things you should, and even after most of that, things were still slow.  Then he suggested to look at disk activity, and that’s when I finally noticed that the hard drive light was near constant, even though the CPU wasn’t bogged down.

I’ll list out all the steps we did, in approximate order, so if you’re looking for some tips, you might find some in this list.

The culprit in my case was a botched auto-upgrade of ISS RealSecure Desktop Sensor (aka BlackIce) and two programs, blackd.exe and vpatch.exe were hitting the disk hundreds of times per second.  Once I manually uninstalled that app (it didn’t show up in Add/Remove Programs any more) with agentremove.exe, everything was awesome.  I am so completely happy with the performance of my system now, and I even still have windows desktop search installed and everything’s indexed.

So look below at the extended entry for the details – the computer you save… might be your own!

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